Megan Fox Loves Her Baby More Than Her Husband & That's Okay

megan foxSunday night at the Golden Globes, everyone was busy fawning over new mom Claire Danes. And rightfully so -- she looked fantastic for having had a baby less than a month prior. (Seriously, was there an industrial-sized pad under that Versace?) But there was another noteworthy new mom in attendance: Megan Fox.

Unsurprisingly, Fox looked gorgeous and tiny and glowy and all things enigmatic for a new mom, but that wasn't what was so interesting about her. What really made my ears perk up was when Fox was being interviewed by Mario Lopez on the red carpet, and she more or less admitted that she loves her child more than her husband, Brian Austin Green. Fox said:

"It’s all I ever wanted to do so I'm just happy I got the opportunity to do it. And I was very overwhelmed with the intensity of the emotions I felt when I had him so ... I'm in love with him and Brian gets jealous, I just love him so much." And Brian quickly added: "Well because she wants to marry him and I keep telling her that doesn't ... You don't marry him, because he's your baby boy."

Now, clearly this is all in jest, and Brian has a good sense of humor about Megan loving her son like crazy (I.E., "more than him"), but it raises an interesting point: Do you pay more attention to your baby or your partner?

When I was still pregnant, I heard from many people how important it was to keep the connection with your partner strong, etc. And I totally believe that. One hundred percent. But in the beginning, babies need more attention than relationships do, plain and simple.

My time with my husband now is after my daughter goes to sleep (and after we're done walking the dog, taking showers, doing miscellaneous things for the following day, etc.). When she's up, we're pretty much all about her. Do we hover over her 24:7, documenting and commenting on her every move? That would be a no. But there's a whole lot of "Oh, my God, look at what she's doing!" going on when it's the three of us. And yes, we'll interrupt each other to make exclamations like this. 

Any and all romance is not dead in our relationship. Not at all. But long, sexy, wine-filled dinners aren't exactly the norm in our lives these days. We've improvised to suit our baby's schedule. (I.E., quick, frozen meals, often with a bouncing baby and Sophie the Giraffe in our lap.) And, in a way, that's how it should be when you decide to have a kid.

The way I (we) see it is we've had seven years together, where it was all about us. It's time for our baby now. And it will be about her, and any other kids we have, for a while. Because she/they need us. Yes, our relationship needs attention, too, but not like a baby needs attention.

I feel like this is what you sign up for when you have a kid. I'm sure there are some of you out there who manage to give both your relationship and your kids equal attention, and to you -- respect. But we're still figuring things out in my neck of the woods. And not to mention, we're tired. I'm sure there will come a time when my husband and I can take long walks on the beach again, but for now, we're okay falling asleep on the couch most nights to an HGTV show. And one of these days we're going to do both dinner and a movie. And it's going to feel like the very first time.

Do you pay more attention to your kids or your partner?

 

Image via Alexandra Wyman/Getty

bonding, celeb moms

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nonmember avatar Michelle

I love my child and my husband in different ways. But I would have to agree with your point of view: my husband and I shared 8 years together...traveling, parties, friends etc. BEFORE having our daughter. We did that on purpose and wouldn't change a thing about our child-consumed life now. I often think those who crab about not having time with their partner after having kids never took the time in their relationship to enjoy EACH OTHER first. But to each his own :)

MissF... MissFrenchie

I think it's amazing to understand that a child dominates much of your time and infants especially need a ton of attention. I hesitate over her implication that she loves the baby MORE than her husband. The divorce rate is incredibly high and I can't help but wonder if it's because too many couples think they're supposed to put their relationship on the back burner because the child is "all that matters".

Irela... Ireland69

My kids come first!!  I can replace a spouse but I can't replace my kids ever.

nonmember avatar Nikki

I love them equally. I can't ever replace any of them. Including my husband. A spouse is not someone you just toss aside like leftovers.

nonmember avatar db.thacker

I have to strongly contest with Ireland69. Infants have a lot of immediate demands. However, I think the best thing you can do for your child (boy or girl) is show them how to have a healthy, nurturing marriage. I think that is very risky to treat your spouse as "disposable". How will that shape your child's views on relationships? I'm not saying that you should neglect your child or infant. But if you love your spouse they need to know it. If not, you probably shouldn't have had child together.

Samfan97 Samfan97

To me, it is like comparing apples and oranges. I love my husband and my son but in very different ways. I would still say that my husband is the first priority but that doesn't mean that I would neglect or ignore my son. My son definitely gets more of my time right now because he is a toddler. I don't think that you can just look at time as an indicator of love. Little kids require lots of time. My husband and I still find an evening or two a week to just sit and be together after our son goes to bed and I feel like that is important. Like db.thacker, I think that modeling a strong, healthy love for your spouse is one of the best things you can give a child. It isnt just about them and they will enjoy the security of having the security of a stable home life. I think that the Megan Fox attitude is a common one but a very dangerous one.

April... AprilJune

I pay more attention to my kids than my husband, and he pays more attention to them than to me. But our kids are 2 and 6 months...they require a lot of attention. In another couple of years, when they are older and a little more independent, we'll be able to have a conversation that isn't interrupted 25 times in 2 minutes by our kids!  That's not to say we don't have a loving, nurturing relationship- we do, and we both understand that this is a temporary stage, that when we look back on our lives, will seem like it flew by. Just because we don't have as much time to spend on each other as before doesn't mean we aren't still connecting and modeling a healthy, loving relationship for our daughters.

nonmember avatar Alison

While I don't think a healthy relationship with your partner is something to be tossed aside, in my opinion, your child should always come first. I've seen too many women choose their men over their own children, which I will never understand.

Heath... HeatherJo11

I agree..especially these first years. The children do get more attention. And if you have a solid partner that is on the same page. You're relationship survives. I adore my husband. Absolutely. We have a wonderful relationship. I dont think of him as disposable or necessarily less important...And I do hate to admit this, but deep deep down I probably do love my babies more :/

corus... coruscations

Giving someone more attention is not the same as loving them more or putting them first.  For me, neither my husband nor my daughter comes first-- our emphasis is on the family, not individuals.  Each person gets the attention they need.  Right now my daughter gets far more attention because she's a newborn, and my husband and I don't have much time to focus on just our relationship, but whatever time we do have we make it count.  Each person has to make sacrifices for the sake of the family.  My husband and I sacrifice our sleep, finances, and alone time together to take care of our baby.  Even our daughter has to sacrifice, by being in daycare so her parents can work to provide for the family.  Without any one of us, our family wouldn't be the same, so no one person is more important or more loved than the others.

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