Sunday night at the Golden Globes, everyone was busy fawning over new mom Claire Danes. And rightfully so -- she looked fantastic for having had a baby less than a month prior. (Seriously, was there an industrial-sized pad under that Versace?) But there was another noteworthy new mom in attendance: Megan Fox.
Unsurprisingly, Fox looked gorgeous and tiny and glowy and all things enigmatic for a new mom, but that wasn't what was so interesting about her. What really made my ears perk up was when Fox was being interviewed by Mario Lopez on the red carpet, and she more or less admitted that she loves her child more than her husband, Brian Austin Green. Fox said:
"It’s all I ever wanted to do so I'm just happy I got the opportunity to do it. And I was very overwhelmed with the intensity of the emotions I felt when I had him so ... I'm in love with him and Brian gets jealous, I just love him so much." And Brian quickly added: "Well because she wants to marry him and I keep telling her that doesn't ... You don't marry him, because he's your baby boy."
Now, clearly this is all in jest, and Brian has a good sense of humor about Megan loving her son like crazy (I.E., "more than him"), but it raises an interesting point: Do you pay more attention to your baby or your partner?
When I was still pregnant, I heard from many people how important it was to keep the connection with your partner strong, etc. And I totally believe that. One hundred percent. But in the beginning, babies need more attention than relationships do, plain and simple.
My time with my husband now is after my daughter goes to sleep (and after we're done walking the dog, taking showers, doing miscellaneous things for the following day, etc.). When she's up, we're pretty much all about her. Do we hover over her 24:7, documenting and commenting on her every move? That would be a no. But there's a whole lot of "Oh, my God, look at what she's doing!" going on when it's the three of us. And yes, we'll interrupt each other to make exclamations like this.
Any and all romance is not dead in our relationship. Not at all. But long, sexy, wine-filled dinners aren't exactly the norm in our lives these days. We've improvised to suit our baby's schedule. (I.E., quick, frozen meals, often with a bouncing baby and Sophie the Giraffe in our lap.) And, in a way, that's how it should be when you decide to have a kid.
The way I (we) see it is we've had seven years together, where it was all about us. It's time for our baby now. And it will be about her, and any other kids we have, for a while. Because she/they need us. Yes, our relationship needs attention, too, but not like a baby needs attention.
I feel like this is what you sign up for when you have a kid. I'm sure there are some of you out there who manage to give both your relationship and your kids equal attention, and to you -- respect. But we're still figuring things out in my neck of the woods. And not to mention, we're tired. I'm sure there will come a time when my husband and I can take long walks on the beach again, but for now, we're okay falling asleep on the couch most nights to an HGTV show. And one of these days we're going to do both dinner and a movie. And it's going to feel like the very first time.
Do you pay more attention to your kids or your partner?
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