Not just for cuddling anymore! New mothers of the world, gather 'round. Do you realize what you have now? Yeah, yeah, it's a baby. But that's not all! You now have a ready-made excuse to get out of pretty much everything!
A few of my friends have even admitted that this is the very best reason to have kids! While they were joking (I think), I don't think it's a stretch to say it's one of the perks of parenthood. Behold all that you can avoid now that you have a baby!
1. Your niece's boring ballet recital: Ooh, I'm sorry, but the baby has colic, and I wouldn't want her curdling screams to throw one of the dancers off. (And really, it's not like the 4-year-old is playing Odette or Clara anyway.)
2. Your in-laws' awful anniversary party: I'm breastfeeding, and wouldn't you know it, this little bugger STILL won't take a bottle? (And OK, all you really wanted to do was sit home and catch up on Criminal Minds on the DVR ... Shemar Moore, yummmm.)
3. Cleaning the house: I'd vacuum, but then the baby starts crying, and I have to run right to her. (Who needs to know it was a mess before you had kids?)
4. Laundry: Oooh, yeah, sorry about the giant stain on my shoulder. The baby just barfed on this shirt (not to mention you never got around to actually washing clothes this week).
5. Brushing your hair: Yup, it's in a ponytail again because if I leave it down, the baby just yanks on it anyway (ahem, and you haven't actually washed it in a week).
6. Happy hour with your boss: What's that? Oh, no, I can't stay late tonight; the sitter is suuuch a stickler about picking up the baby on time (and really, who wants to drink with the boss anyway?).
7. Watch cartoons: Yes, you caught me watching Yo Gabba Gabba; I'm just previewing to decide what I'll let the baby watch when she's old enough (and OK, the Ting Tings were on, and I really LIKE the Ting Tings).
All right, truth time! What do you use the baby as an excuse for? Spill so we can take advantage too!
Image via KellBailey/Flickr