Not just for cuddling anymore! New mothers of the world, gather 'round. Do you realize what you have now? Yeah, yeah, it's a baby. But that's not all! You now have a ready-made excuse to get out of pretty much everything!
A few of my friends have even admitted that this is the very best reason to have kids! While they were joking (I think), I don't think it's a stretch to say it's one of the perks of parenthood. Behold all that you can avoid now that you have a baby!
1. Your niece's boring ballet recital: Ooh, I'm sorry, but the baby has colic, and I wouldn't want her curdling screams to throw one of the dancers off. (And really, it's not like the 4-year-old is playing Odette or Clara anyway.)
2. Your in-laws' awful anniversary party: I'm breastfeeding, and wouldn't you know it, this little bugger STILL won't take a bottle? (And OK, all you really wanted to do was sit home and catch up on Criminal Minds on the DVR ... Shemar Moore, yummmm.)
3. Cleaning the house: I'd vacuum, but then the baby starts crying, and I have to run right to her. (Who needs to know it was a mess before you had kids?)
4. Laundry: Oooh, yeah, sorry about the giant stain on my shoulder. The baby just barfed on this shirt (not to mention you never got around to actually washing clothes this week).
5. Brushing your hair: Yup, it's in a ponytail again because if I leave it down, the baby just yanks on it anyway (ahem, and you haven't actually washed it in a week).
6. Happy hour with your boss: What's that? Oh, no, I can't stay late tonight; the sitter is suuuch a stickler about picking up the baby on time (and really, who wants to drink with the boss anyway?).
7. Watch cartoons: Yes, you caught me watching Yo Gabba Gabba; I'm just previewing to decide what I'll let the baby watch when she's old enough (and OK, the Ting Tings were on, and I really LIKE the Ting Tings).
All right, truth time! What do you use the baby as an excuse for? Spill so we can take advantage too!
Image via KellBailey/Flickr
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Comments 27
I don't. If I don't want to do something I simply decline politely, but I do make a point to attend " boring" family activities, because I think being there and showing support is the right thing to do if at all possible.
Things like not washing your hair for a week or not doing laundry, I don't understand. I have two kids and while babies can be difficult, that's no reason to walk around like a total slob. That's gross and makes you feel bad.
I can't imagine why anyone would go around without washing their hair or bathing for days? The only time I've skipped bathing was due to illness. Gross!
I also take issue with #2 and #3. Since when is breastfeeding straight from the breast an issue to where someone needs to stay home? Wow, way to not support public breastfeeding Cafemom! And an infant is not an excuse to have a messy home. A child can cry for 5 minutes while you vacuum.
omg get over it some ppl have something bad to say about everything. on another note thanks for this i will have my first child in june and had not thought about all the things i will then be able to get away with or out of with out hurting anyones feelings. loved this post
My kid is a person, a little one but still a person, not an excuse.
yeah...i agree overly sensitive people. of course my child is a child...that does not mean i don't use them as an excuse. and not showering for a couple days? i've done it..seriously i've got twins.. colicky twins at that. one stops crying the other starts when on earth am i supposed to find time to shower? if you say just let your kid cry for five minutes...try surround sound crying...believe me its not something you want to start if you can avoid it. and IF i find time i want to sit for 3 minutes and stare into space. i def. have said oh well the disney channel is on for them..they may be napping but hey..i just didnt change it ;)
and all you people who are so "offended by this" no one said you HAD to use these things as an excuse...in fact these things are kind of just silly things, that IF you chose to..you could say and everyone would be understanding for the fact that you have a baby. sheesh.
anyway i thought this was a cute article.
I like the fact that my kids get me to the front of the food line first! Lmbo! Only when people insist we do though, otherwise they are taught to wait patiently. If I am going to get their food....I might as well get mine!