Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom Was the Best Decision I've Ever Made

Mom Moment 26

michele zipp twinsWith parenting comes these huge decisions. Tough ones. Ones that seemingly test you. One of the more challenging decisions is deciding who is going to stay home with baby. You, husband, family, child care? No matter what you choose, rest assured there will be guilty, doubt, and worry that you should be doing something different. These decisions aren't solely based on economic status either. Sometimes both parents have to work in order to pay the bills and hiring a caretaker is the only route to go. Having a nanny or any type of child care doesn't automatically mean you're rolling in the dough. Same goes for the mom or dad who is able to stay home with their child. Having a kid is pricey no matter what.

When I read that Giuliana Rancic is debating becoming a stay-at-home mom, I wanted to tell her to do it. It's one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Being a SAHM isn't for everyone and you won't get any judgement from me on what you choose to do because I have done both. We do what we have to do, what we want to do, what's best for us and our family. For the first two years of my twins' life, I had child care, a nanny actually, because having a nanny was less expensive than putting two babies in daycare in NYC. And having child care doesn't make you less of a mom. It was tough though, on many levels, but it was working for us, until it wasn't. After living in a small Brooklyn apartment with twins, we wanted to move and I wanted to be home with the kids. I was lucky enough to go from a full time position to freelance on a very part-time level so I was able to bring in a little bit of money to help make ends meet. And keep up with my career, which was something important to me.

It's been a year now and I feel exactly how a few moms told me I'd feel. You may regret working and being away from your kids, but you'll never regret staying home with your kids. So true. I don't regret it.

I think Giuliana should do it. Stay home with her son. When she talked about going back to work and said she wasn't ready on a recent episode of Giuliana & Bill, I felt her concern. "Maybe I should quit right now!" she said. "I don't want to go." I think all new moms can relate to that no matter how long or short (or non-existent) their maternity leave is. It's so hard to go back to work when you are in the hazy, sleep-deprived but beautiful bliss of new motherhood. You prefer coos over conference calls and poop diapers over powerpoint presentations. Everything is just so new and beautiful even with the spit-up and baby dinosaur-sounding cries.

Those moments will be gone before we know it, and if you can and of course want to, why not stay home with the kids. If you are in a position where it can work, and you can try, like I think Giuliana is in, why not. If there is regret, try working yourself back into the work force again. But that time you spend with your baby, maybe you even into toddlerhood, all that time, all those firsts you get to see first, all those kiss it to make it betters, all those snuggles, all those moments you're teaching your child and your child teaches you, they are worth even the times where you feel like you will crumble if you don't get a break. Because being the CEO of the house is hard work without any private bathroom breaks, sometimes without the ability to shower, without lunch break shopping, without getting dressed up in heels and pretty dresses. It's a full time job with overtime. It's one of the most important "jobs" in the world.

And it's worth it.

Did you make the decision to be a SAHM? How are you feeling about your decision?

 

Image via Michele Zipp

a mom's life, childcare

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femal... femaleMIKE

I will be returning back to work.  I have no idea how this is going to work out.

Rosas... RosasMummy

I'm a full time student in London so I have not only all my actual lectures etc to attend I have to commute and spend a lot of time at home working. It sucks but I think i would not be able to deal with being at home 24/7 anyway

early... earlybird11

people need to stop saying that there is only ONE reason someone would chose NOT to be a stay at home mom... which is to pay bills.. Some people actually ENJOY working.. but good for you for enjoying being a stay at home mom.. - everyone has a choice, its not always black and white

notan... notanazgirl

I love going to work everyday and I love taking care of my kids.  I have comfort in knowing that if something happens to my husband (or if he decides to leave), I am prepared to take care of myself and my kids without worrying about an income.  I'm a realist and not living in fantasy land thinking that everything's going to be peachy for the rest of our lives, because as we know, s**t happens.

nonmember avatar Amanda

I agree with earlybird11,by the end of my maternity leave (1 year in Canada), I was MORE than ready to get a routine and speak to grownups.

nonmember avatar Gretta

I used to work full time. Quite successfully, I might add. Things worked out recently and I came home. I am certainly not anti work, but I will tell you something... I LOVE being a SAHM and I never want to go back to work.

three... threeforme157

Your kids are only little once and to not be home with them you miss out on so much which shapes the person that they become.  If you can make sacrifices to your budget to stay home that is the best choice.  I know so many moms who say they can't yet they are spending a ton of money buying things for their kids because they feel so guilty.  Those are the kids that I find are screaming for any attention because they are lacking it at home.

mnm3boys mnm3boys

I've been a SAHM for 6 years after being laid off from my job and not being able to find a new job in my field as a paralegal.  I'm actually petrified of going back to work once my youngest starts school full time I tried working part time in retail which was a big mistake I discovered in myself that its not going to be easy transitioning back to work.  I think getting back into working in an office might be better but I'm terrified I've adjusted to being surrounded only by kids for way too long.  

kirstina kirstina

I love being a stay at home mom. I hated being a working mom.

Blues... Blueshark77

I've always planned to be a stay at home mom. About halfway through my pregnancy I was very lucky to get a part time work from home job that I can do when my partner gets home from work in the evenings. I spent years looking after other people's children and I want to be the primary caregiver with my own. Plus after working in a few different daycares and seeing a lot of scary stuff I wouldn't trust anyone else to watch my children. 

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