8 Gifts Never to Give a New Mom

OMG 78

newbornBringing their first baby home from the hospital is an exciting time for new moms, but let's be honest, it can be pretty overwhelming and exhausting too.

And even though they've just given birth to a tiny human being and are stitched up, sore as hell, and so tired they feel like their eyes are going to swell shut, most brand new moms will still graciously accept visitors. Introducing family and friends to their newborn is pretty much the only way to guarantee they'll stop calling and bugging them for days on end about when they're finally going to get to see the baby. (People are so selfish, aren't they?)

Ok, ok, so I know they mean well and want to congratulate the happy new parents and snuggle the new baby for a bit. But visitors can be a bit overbearing during those first few postpartum days -- especially when they give the new mom a bunch of things (both material and verbal) that she really just doesn't need.

On that note, if you're going to visit a first time mom and her newborn anytime soon, here are a few things you should forget bringing along with you. (Just bring her a casserole that she can freeze and keep reassuring her that she's doing a great job. That's the best thing.)

  1. Your germy kids -- OMG. After I had my son, one of our visitors showed up with not only their school-aged kids, but also the damn dog. Had this not been my first baby, I probably would've been a lot more laid-back about it, but at the time, I was a basket case. Leave your kiddos AT HOME.
  2. Flowers -- Yes, they're pretty, but trust me, new moms do not need a bouquet of flowers. They're doing their best to keep the baby alive -- don't give them freakin' plants to deal with. (Again, bring a casserole.)
  3. Babysitting offers -- News flash: She's just not ready for that sort of thing because she's still getting used to leaving the baby with her husband while she goes to take a shower. Put the offers on the back burner and bring them out again when the baby is a few months old.
  4. Booze -- Ok, so I would've welcomed this little gift with open arms, but booze can be a huge buzz-kill for breastfeeding moms who are a ways off from pumping and dumping.
  5. Store gift cards -- Yep, right after I had my son, someone brought me a gift card to my favorite pre-baby size store. And I cried, because all it did was remind me of how fat I was after gaining 50 pounds during pregnancy.
  6. Your lack of punctuality -- If you are going to visit a newborn, DON'T BE LATE. Buy a watch, set an alarm, leave two hours early, whatever it takes so you arrive at the mom's house at the specific hour she told you to come over. Your inability to be on time is not welcome at her house.
  7. Advice -- There's a time and a place for this. Unless she asks for it, keep your tried and true tips and tricks to yourself at least for the first couple of weeks.
  8. Restaurant gift cards -- Again, a nice gesture, but this will only remind her that she's probably not getting a date night anytime soon. (Casserole, anyone?)

What was the worst thing you got from a visitor after having your first baby?

 

Image via Mary Fischer

newborns

78 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

TKsMo... TKsMommie

I'd love flowers, gift cards or gift cards for dinner.  Most restaurants do take out now, a GREAT option for those days when you are both exhausted, and having a gift card for it even better.  And it doesnt have to be an offer of "going out" babysitting, it could be so you can take a shower and a nap and not have to worry.  Try being grateful that people care enough to want to help!


Germy kids and advice, yeah leave those at home, along with the casseroles.

nonmember avatar Stephanie.r.e

I agree with working mom. I hate people like this. Especially the "leave the kids at home". What?! Isn't it about family? I wouldn't want to visit your snobby self or your soon to be snobby kid.

the4m... the4mutts

Oh quit trying to give advice already! You suck at it.

6 hours after I had my 4th child, I asked to go home. What did I do when I got there? I took a shower, and started calling people to come over. Neighbors, kids, the works. I just pushed out a 9.5lb meatball and I wanted to show him off!

After my 2nd child? I came home, cooked, then took a mile long walk, WITH MY 12 HR OLD BABY. *GASP* the next day, I took her to walmart.

Not everyone wants to hole up in their dark-as-a-cave house, alone, in their sweats, crying over some baby fat.

Jespren Jespren

Unless you plan on getting falling down drunk there is NO REASON to 'pump and dump'. Ale and dark beers help with milk production and some wine helps mom relax after the rigors of childbirth. It's physically impossible for your breastmilk to be at a higher consentration of alcohol than your blood. So if you get legally drunk at .09 your breastmilk is, at very most, .09 alcoholic. Guess what apple juice comes in at .16 alcoholic! No, a newborn shouldn't have a big ole bottle of apple juice, but no one would think it would make them drunk! Having a glass of wine or beer is a GOOD THING, if you want one, not a reason for a stress or 'pump and dump'.

amiec... amiecanflie

I would hate it if someone brought me food, since I'm so picky. 

nonmember avatar Deanna

I would have just been happy to have some visitors. My mom was the only family member who could be bothered to come from out of state. The rest of my family couldn't be bothered to call, and we where still new to the area and didn't have many friends.

Jespren Jespren

Oh, and bring the kids, bring the dog, bring some flowers! Sounds about perfect to me! Infants exposed to animals have a lower risk of allergies, always good to be around animals.

randh... randhferedinos

If it wasn't for some amazing advice from visitors, I would have completely failed at breastfeeding. They helped me through some of the most difficult parts of the first few days. Encouraged me to avoid supplementing and trust my body. I am so thankful to them. Oh and I welcomed other kids coming to see the baby, I remember how much I loved seeing brand new babies when I was young.

Blues... Blueshark77

Most of these don't seem too bad. I wouldn't want anyone who is sick to come around though. Also don't want the advice or babysitting offers. I'm not comfortable leaving my baby with anyone I know here, especially when she's still a newborn. I've taken care of more babies than most people so I don't want the advice either, but I wouldn't get upset with someone who does offer it. I know they mean well. The worst advice so far was give the baby corn syrup and water in between feedings. Don't think so!

1-10 of 78 comments 12345 Last
F