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Genius Parenting 'Newspaper' Takes on Purell Obsessed Parents & All the Rest of Us Hilariously

by Adriana Velez on December 7, 2012 at 5:15 PM

funny babyIsn't parenting kind of ridiculous? Sometimes? (Often!) Be honest -- don't you find some aspects of it laughably absurd? One dad found parenting so rich in comic gold he's mined it to launch a new parody newspaper, The Parenteer. If you're familiar with parody newspaper The Onion, this is pretty much the same idea only it's all about parenting. But I think it's just as funny.

James Clunie is the father of two who founded, writes, and publishes the newspaper. And yes, he finds a lot to laugh about parenting: "There's a huge bottomless pit of jokes -- the stuff kids say and parents do," he says. Most amazing of all, in spite of treating the second oldest profession so irreverently, he hasn't encountered many haters. People love The Parenteer. I guess he's getting it right -- have a look and see what you think. Here's a few of my favorite headlines and why I think they're spot-on hilarious.

"Is Purell Slowly Killing You?" First of all, yes. It probably is. That's why my subconscious tells me, anyway, every time I see a bottle of it. But I love how this plays on all those SCARY warning-type articles.

"BELLYBUDS" And that's the whole headline. Because: BELLYBUDS. Can you believe? Earphones for unborn babies that you strap onto your pregnant belly. By the way, I just saw a photo in my Facebook stream of a friend of mine using these, so yes, this is a real thing. And James zeroed in on the most ridiculous aspect of this must-have maternity product: They cost $49.99.

"Cold-Hearted Five-Year-Old Girl Just Going to Let Her Crying Carrie-Ann Doll Sob Until the Batteries Run Out" Okay, so I love the idea of a little girl who just lets her annoying crying doll cry until its batteries run out. It's the toy equivalent of pulling back the curtain on the Wizard of Oz, right? But I also love how some of the teachers around her turn it into a clear sign of her sociopathology. SIGH -- painfully realistic.

"Baby Swears to God, Spends Half Her Life Looking for Goddamn Keys" You too? Babies: They're just like us! No really, this is funny just because it's something we can all relate to -- for completely different reasons than a baby. But of course, I cry louder than a baby when I can't find my keys.

"The Ethiceer" Finally, a dad explains why so few men are willing to submit to a vasectomy. In answer to a (fake) letter-writer's query, the Ethiceer responds, "MEN. ARE. PUSSIES." I knew it.

What "important" parenting topics do you think The Parenteer should cover next?


Image via Ms. Phoenix/Flickr

Filed Under: in the news


  • mompam


    December 7, 2012 at 6:50 PM
    That is hilarious!
  • Blues...


    December 7, 2012 at 10:31 PM

    Lol! My sister was just trying to convince me to buy Bellybuds. I had to explain the baby can hear without the headphones, and she can hear whatever is going on around her. As much as I love and listen to classical music, I do not think it will make the baby a genius. The only music she ever responded to was when her dad played The Rain Song by Led Zepplin. 

  • Mary...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Mary Renee Reuter

    December 8, 2012 at 3:49 PM

    The Rain Song is my FAVORITE Led Zeppelin song! I think your baby and I will get along, she sounds freaking cool. 


  • Blues...


    December 9, 2012 at 4:05 AM

    Thanks, Mary! It's funny how much kicking goes on when that song is played. :)

  • Miche...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Michelle Connor

    December 9, 2012 at 12:20 PM

    Haven't they found that using those belly buds can cause damage to their hearing even when in the womb?

  • Josh...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Josh Evora

    October 9, 2013 at 2:26 AM

    I can read these stories everyday on newspapers. Newspapers included this kind of articles to their daily publication to entertain people. They use Brother AX Series Ink in printing this so you can expect a good quality out of this.

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