Snooki Gives Kate Middleton Some Really Weird Baby Advice

snookiJust like the rest of us experienced during our pregnancies, Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, is about to endure nine months of non-stop baby advice from well-meaning people. Will it get annoying? Sure! But it's a rite of passage. Welcome to the club, Kate. The first up to dole out words of wisdom to the mum-to-be is none other than Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi. The Jersey Shore star had the New York Daily News relay the following message to Kate: "It's hard, but don't stress out! Enjoy your pregnancy and be excited. Enjoy your time at home -- or the castle, in her case -- with the baby. Especially the first few months ... Congrats to Will and Kate. I'm sure she will be an amazing mom."

Sweet, right? And pretty good advice to boot. But Snooki's royal advice didn't stop there. The reality star is nothing if not an unconventional gal, so as you may surmise, her advice for the future queen follows suit.

Snooki's Baby Advice for Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge:

1. Don't use your feet as a means for transportation, use a scooter. Trust me, your cankles will thank you.

2. Don't go within a 50-foot radius of the smush room. Actually, let's make that 100. You're a royal.

3. Document your boobs. No offense, Kate, but you're not the most, ahem, well-endowed woman in the world. But not for long. Your boobs are going to get huge during the next few months. We're talking mumbly-jumblies here. Wills is gonna be in heaven. Photograph that shit. And if you want, tweet it.

4. Go to the club once in a while. But don't drink. Obvs.

5. Put those servants to use. I know you and Will try to be all independent and modern and not use "the help" that often, but dude. You're pregnant. You can get away will anything right now. Ring up ol' Jeeves and have him bring you a pickles and Yorkshire puddin'.

6. Tan safely. One thing that's really gonna suck for you is when all your friends go tanning and you have to sit there in the waiting area. Worst. See if you can find some sort of all-natural, organic spray tan kind of thing. They must have that in England, right? You guys are all pale over there.

7. BYOHG. Bring your own hospital gown. The more leopard, the better.

8. Brace yourself for what's to come. I'm not talking about the late nights here; I'm talking about the fact that you're probably going to fart during labor. Not sure if you've ever done this in front of Will yet, but you might want to forewarn him. I know you British people are all posh and proper. Labor is not.

Do you have any advice for Kate?

 

Image via ChicagoPhotoShop/wisegie/Flickr

kate middleton, jersey shore

4 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

MomLi... MomLily67

Well, it makes sense, hahaha!! she just dished out the advice in her own personal way of saying things.


One more:  Don't worry about the weight gain. Kate is naturally slender, so it is very likely she will recover her svelte figure in a short time. If not, to hell with it!! she's a royal, hehehe.

Emily Branham

Snooks has it pretty much down pat, oh and dont stress the whole actual process of having the baby, its usually over in a day, and its not too bad. I had my daughter completely natural. It hurts like a bish but its not gonna kill you.

1-4 of 4 comments