Moms Don't Want to Hear That Their Baby Looks 'Just Like Daddy'

Rant 31

nicole fabian-weberYou know what's annoying? Hearing people say that your child looks "so much" like your partner. There, I said it. Some people (predominantly my family) think my daughter looks like me. Others, not so much. "Not so much" as in, "Oh my god, she looks so much like her daddy!" Quiet, you. I grew this adorable little girl inside of me for nine months. You really can't see me in her at all?

You can't?

Then lie.

It's a common reaction -- one I'd often give myself before I had a baby of my own. People love to immediately offer their expert input as to who the child looks like more -- Mommy or Daddy. (In addition to whether she's "big" or "small.") They do it as if they're cracking some long-anticipated code. (Oh, that's who she looks like. Finally! I've been dying to find out! Thank you!) Unsurprisingly, people on Mom's side of the family think Baby looks like Mom, and people on Dad's side think the opposite. Honestly? It's kind of annoying both ways.

When my husband, baby, and I are around family members from my side, and they start talking about how much my daughter looks like me as a baby (which, well, she does), I feel bad for my husband. It's like they're excluding him from being a part of the fun, part of the family! And when the opposite happens -- like it did this past Sunday at a birthday party -- I have an urge to let a baby picture of me "fall" out of my wallet, and go, "I'm sorry, were you saying something?"

Before I had a kid, I never in a million, trillion years thought something like this would irritate me. And even now, I admit, I'm kind of surprised that it does. I kind of hate that it does. I don't consider myself an uptight person when it comes to other aspects of parenthood. If you ask to hold my baby, I won't hover over you. I swear! I trust you!

I just don't want to hear you saying how she looks just like her daddy! Because it's not true it's subjective. And it's especially annoying when you're meeting her for the first time and it's the first thing out of your mouth. Tell me she's sweet and cute, and how, hey look at that! She's a combo of both her parents.

A few weeks ago, I was at my friend's house, where both she and her mom kept commenting on how A) my daughter is small, and B) how she looks like my husband. It was kind of annoying. But when I got home and was walking inside, baby and car seat in tow, my neighbor stopped me and said, "Holy cow, what are you feeding that girl? She's huge! And man, does she look like her mama."

It was sweet, and for a moment, it negated everything I'd been hearing the past few hours. But then I thought: Did you just call my baby fat?

Does it bother you when you hear that your baby "looks just like their dad"?


Image via Nicole Fabian-Weber

baby first year


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MomLi... MomLily67

There are days when you can not stand people saying the fruit of your loins looks nothing like you, I can relate, hahaha!!

dirti... dirtiekittie

absolutely not!! my husband is a rather handsome guy, and we have beautiful children together. who cares if people think my girls look more like my husband? (they do, btw - spitting images of him as a kid.) it's not like they're saying your baby looks like a feral squirrel or anything, so what's the big deal?

NatAndCo NatAndCo

I hate hearing that my boys look like their half brother. hate it with a passion. Their fathers side of the family thinks he looks like his dad, but i think he looks like his mom so the comparison, while innocent, kills me.

Andrea Byrd Plate

Although my daughter takes after me in the height department (namely, short) and her face is shaped like mine, her coloring is all my husband-they both have red hair and brown eyes.  If anything, I get sick of the comments that there's no doubt who her father is-yes, because after waiting for eight years of married life to have a kid, I was just dying to sneak off to find another sperm donor other than my husband.  Yeesh.

the4m... the4mutts

Overreact much? Calm down.

My 3 oldest are little clones of me for the most part. Though my 4 y/o dd has more of her dad than the other 2. But my youngest may as well belong to the mailman for all he looks like either of us. He looks like his older female cousin. They look like siblings more than my he does with my other 3.

Never bothers me to hear that he looks nothing like me, or when ppl say my 4 y/o looks like daddy. Its their DNA, why would I be posessive of it?

fave82 fave82

LMAO, I feel ya. My whole family thinks my daughter looks just like me, while my husbands thinks she looks like him. In reality, she's a pretty decent mix of the two of us and it depends on the day/expression shes making, etc..... BUT it is insanely annoying when every single picture I send my husbands mom and grandma gets a reply of  " oh! it's 'little chris'! " And they've even gone on to say "oh, dont worry, I'm sure the next one will look like you!"  ... um ok, thanks.

jalaz77 jalaz77

My kids are a mix but when around my MIL she says stuff like, where did they get that hair color, or the curls?? She says it all the time! Um they got THAT from me. Believe it or not I did partake in growing that baby. I have 3 kids so have to hear this all the time and the fact that they look soooo much like daddy. Now I don't mind that but not one of our kids is a splitting image of my hubby or me. And I like that, I like the mix but it does hurt when they don't notice any characteristics of you in them. Cause they are there, give it time. Kids change but I wouldn't mind if they looked like daddy cause he is hot.

cassi... cassie_kellison

I have found that hair color has played a big part in the "he looks like..." game. My first son has blond hair like me and people automatically say he looks so much lke me, but if you get past the hair color, he has a lot of facial similrities to his Daddy. My second son has brown hair like his Daddy and people always say he looks so much like my Husband, but again, get past the hair and he actually looks a LOT like my Uncle when he was a baby, and not like his Daddy at all. It does not bother me when people say baby looks like.. because passing strangers don't know the family to really know who they look like.

kebrowni kebrowni

My husband and I looked very similar as babies/toddlers, so when people tell me that my son looks EXACTLY like his dad...yeah, I get a little annoyed. I don't call them out on it or start to cry, but I kinda take a mental note. What's more annoying is when members of my husband's family say stuff like, "look at those curls! those are definitely (insert husband's last name) curls" when we BOTH had/have curly hair. Besides, I always think it's weird when people say my kid looks like one of us. Either that means he looks like an adult in his late 20s or we look like toddlers :P

Tara Morris

How about when your mom goes on about how your daughter looks like your sister, not you?  I get that from my mom all the time.  Also, my aunt.  Never me, though.  And my kids ears?  They look just like her ears, not mine.  Because my ears are like hers, therefore my kids ears look like hers, not mine.  Gah!  So, my older daughter looks like my mom and my aunt and my sister, and my younger one looks like my sister and my son looks like my mom and my husband, but somehow none of the three look anything like me. It gets annoying.

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