Parenting

20 Onesies Way Too Disturbing for a Baby (PHOTOS)

ParentingPublished Jul 25, 2012
By Jeanne Sager
baby hands over face

I have a theory about all those cutsey baby onesies with the sayings on them. It's the only thing keeping us sane until that baby starts talking. Wait, have you gone through the "I'm so desperate for this baby to talk that I'll sit here for an hour saying Mama like an idiot" stage yet? You will. In the meantime, there are plenty of onesies out there that will let you say anything you want for your baby.

In fact, the whole "baby onesie" field has gotten cluttered with people saying a little too much for babies. The creepy onesies people actually expect you to put on a baby have gotten out of control.

I'm talking the onesies with curse words, the onesies with sexual references, and worse! You wouldn't believe the kind of sayings people will plaster across a baby's chest. I'm hoping (dear God) that they won't actually teach their kids to say them later, but who knows .... Check 'em out.

Which ones do you find offensive? Would you put any of them on your baby?

Image via © iStock.com/Nancy Honeycutt

1/20
Why not just make one that says, "I'm raising my kid to be a jerk like me" and be done with it?-placeholder
Why not just make one that says, "I'm raising my kid to be a jerk like me" and be done with it?
My Olive Flower

Why not just make one that says, "I'm raising my kid to be a jerk like me" and be done with it?

2/20
Really?-placeholder
Really?
Zazzle

Really?

3/20
Bullying starts early?-placeholder
Bullying starts early?
Spencer's

Bullying starts early?

4/20
Because everyone should be thinking about the size of your son's penis ...-placeholder
Because everyone should be thinking about the size of your son's penis ...
My Olive Flower

Because everyone should be thinking about the size of your son's penis ...

5/20
Even if it's true, some things don't need to be shared on a baby's chest-placeholder
Even if it's true, some things don't need to be shared on a baby's chest
BullyDesignCo.

Even if it's true, some things don't need to be shared on a baby's chest

6/20
Objectifying women already, is he?-placeholder
Objectifying women already, is he?
CafePress

Objectifying women already, is he?

7/20
Shouldn't we be glad her motor skills haven't developed enough for this gesture?-placeholder
Shouldn't we be glad her motor skills haven't developed enough for this gesture?
Zazzle

Shouldn't we be glad her motor skills haven't developed enough for this gesture?

8/20
Then Daddy's a jerk-placeholder
Then Daddy's a jerk
Spencer's

Then Daddy's a jerk

9/20
See those boobs? They're not hers.-placeholder
See those boobs? They're not hers.
Just Kids Store -- Via The Stir

See those boobs? They're not hers.

10/20
Three Words NO Kid Should Ever Say: "Mommy Puts Out"-placeholder
Three Words NO Kid Should Ever Say: "Mommy Puts Out"
ThingsOnShirts

Three Words NO Kid Should Ever Say: "Mommy Puts Out"

11/20
I See an Oedipus Complex in Your Future, Kid-placeholder
I See an Oedipus Complex in Your Future, Kid
CafePress

I See an Oedipus Complex in Your Future, Kid

12/20
Hey Mom, My First Word Is Gonna Get Me Kicked Outta Pre-School!-placeholder
Hey Mom, My First Word Is Gonna Get Me Kicked Outta Pre-School!
InspirationxCreation

Hey Mom, My First Word Is Gonna Get Me Kicked Outta Pre-School!

13/20
Good to Know Dad Role Models Such Great Behavior-placeholder
Good to Know Dad Role Models Such Great Behavior
CafePress

Good to Know Dad Role Models Such Great Behavior

14/20
They're Called Baby Bottles, Not Beer Bottles-placeholder
They're Called Baby Bottles, Not Beer Bottles
SewFashionBoutique

They're Called Baby Bottles, Not Beer Bottles

15/20
Such High Hopes from the Get Go-placeholder
Such High Hopes from the Get Go
CafePress

Such High Hopes from the Get Go

16/20
Babies & Blow Jobs Just Don't Mix-placeholder
Babies & Blow Jobs Just Don't Mix
BadBabyBad

Babies & Blow Jobs Just Don't Mix

17/20
Now That's One Way to Tell Baby Mommy Had a One Night Stand-placeholder
Now That's One Way to Tell Baby Mommy Had a One Night Stand
CafePress

Now That's One Way to Tell Baby Mommy Had a One Night Stand

18/20
Way Babies Die = Not Funny-placeholder
Way Babies Die = Not Funny
GopherKidz

Way Babies Die = Not Funny

19/20
So What You're Saying Is Mommy Isn't the Best Person ... ?-placeholder
So What You're Saying Is Mommy Isn't the Best Person ... ?
CafePress

So What You're Saying Is Mommy Isn't the Best Person ... ?

20/20
What Happens in the Bedroom Is Supposed to STAY in the Bedroom-placeholder
What Happens in the Bedroom Is Supposed to STAY in the Bedroom
CafePress

What Happens in the Bedroom Is Supposed to STAY in the Bedroom

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