baby
Look out!!So Jennifer Garner went on Ellen today and pretty much confirmed my suspicions that being a parent is disgusting. The Butter actress and mom of Violet, 6, Seraphina, 3, and Samuel, 7 months, admitted that her son pees in her eye, to which I say, eew. I know some of you wonderful mothers out there are probably nodding with understanding as you wipe your child's urine from your face, but to a non-parent like m'self, news that that can happen came as kind of a shocker. One minute Jennifer's talking about how virile Ben Affleck is (yesss), and the next she's talking about pee pee going in her eye eye. Come on! It was a total bait and switch. But! There's light at the end of this wee-wee-soaked tunnel.

Garner explains that there's a benefit to having daughters over having sons: "I mean, they didn't pee in my eye."

Boom. There it is. If you wanna have kids but you don't want to have someone spray whiz in your face, have girls. It's simple, it's genius, it's a game-plan I can get behind.

I mean, I'm a girl and I can say with a lot of confidence that I've never peed on Jennifer Garner's face. Girls just don't do that sort of thing. We're nice and well-behaved like that.

Jennifer went on to say that she sometimes sets pee-happy Samuel down then forgets where she put him:

I don't know if it's because he's my third and I forget that I have him ... You know you're just dealing with two and then you think, "I put a baby down. I swear I put a baby down somewhere." And you kind of walk through the house. "There you are!" He's just happy as can be.

Aw, that's cute. But, like, I mean, I don't want to be all whatever or anything, but, you know, who knows -- maybe Samuel's peeing in Jennifer's eye to get back at her for leaving him in random rooms of the house all alone? Stranger things, that's all I'm saying really, stranger things have happened.

Now, about Ben's virility ....

What took you by surprise when you were raising your son?

 

Photo via brooklyn skinny/Flickr