The World Would Be a Better Place if Fewer People Had Babies

Rant 28

not having childrenThis may come as a shock to those of us with kids, but having children isn't the be-all, end-all of existence. Not everyone needs to have them. But if you ask Canadian writer Joe O'Connor, those couples who choose not to have babies are "selfish." It's laughable, really.

As a mom of two who spends a lot of time around other moms, I can honestly say not EVERYONE should be a mom. In fact, very often I would say MOST people shouldn't be parents. There are a whole host of reasons not to procreate and only one compelling one to do so: You want kids and you want to raise them.

It's simple. If that isn't you, do the world a favor and don't have kids. Not everyone is cut out for late nights with sick babies, screaming fits for hours on end, and all the less fun parts of parenthood. Good for them for knowing that.

As a mother I would never suggest that someone needs a baby to have their life be whole. If anything, I sometimes envy those who don't have kids. I wouldn't trade my kids now that I know them, but sometimes I have twinges where I wish I had been able to consider the childless life.

Those who can are lucky!

Being childless isn't being empty. It doesn't mean being unhappy or being bad in any way. It isn't selfish. If anything, it's unselfish. It's better for our world (for more reasons than the environment) to not procreate. Why does the world need a bunch of kids whose parents didn't want them? What good does that do anyone?

No. No one should be called "selfish" for making the right choice for them. My guess is O'Connor is just jealous and he can't admit it. Maybe it just looks like the childless are having that much more fun.

Do you think it's selfish not to have kids?

 

time for mom

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Venae Venae

I wish more people were selfish!  You are right - the majority of parents shouldn't be!

Marcella Shambles

As a foster Mom (and 1 biological) I know for a FACT that there are many people who should not have children!  You have to take a test to drive a car, but not to raise a child.  But then this brings about the "Who would make the test?"  "How would it be enforced?" and so on.  Nothing like this is ever easy with clear anything.

Vegeta Vegeta

I think people should only have children (max 2 for replacement rate purposes) if they have the time, money, want, and resources for said children. I feel that there are too many pointless people in the world sucking up resources, myself included. Baby's are neat and all but they grow up into people that need even more resources. I mean it's great and all that I was born but there was no need for me to be. unfortunately we can't pick the parents out who will have the kids that will make big differences instead of occupying a random place in society.

early... earlybird11

I have met many people who have children and should not. I wish those people had thought harder about their decisions. My son was a well calculated and thought out plan. Talked about for years prior.to birth. Everyone thinks I.am crazy when I say it, but his daycare all the way through highschool was picked before conception..we had to know what we wanted out of parenting. Once we knew what th others views were on discipline etc , this parenting stuff was easy.... But there have been some very selfish decisions along the way, to better his life. In the same sense I have a friend who wants to remain childless , and while I hope she will not have regrets, I trust that she will have weighed things the way I did to come to her own decision. By nature she is a very selfish person, she is my best friend, but that's okay . I don't know if the two things had anything to do with one another

nonmember avatar Rachel

To Amy who posted, " I would encourage anyone to try parenting if they think they might like it."

So what if I don't like it? That's what people don't think. What if you decide parenting is the most god-awful experience imaginable? You're stuck for the rest of your life. (I'm childfree)

amazz... amazzonia

When I read the titles was already getting angry but when I read the article my feeling changed and I fully agree with it most parents become parents just because they get to a certain age and the feel like they got to have a baby, even if they really don't want to, and it takes courage and a lot of self esteem to decide not to have one. I love having kids and I totally understand how the duggers end up with 19, but one of the person who inspires me most is my aunt, she's now 50 never married, never have kids, and lives a happy life, and I admire he to have had the guts to go against the flow and be a single person all her life, is how she loves living her life and that's what is all about. Every person is different and every life should be different, some love to have kids, other people love to be alone, is just a matter to find ourselfs and be courage enough to follow what we are, and not what society tells us how we should be

Mindi Brizendine

I think having kids and resenting them or not wanting them is selfish. If people who were going to be bad parents or didn't want kids couldn't have them, the world would be a better place.

bleed... bleedingheart8D

Parenting is hard. I thought I had someone to help me by marrying, but my husband died recently and now I am a single mother wondering how I am going to do this on my own. If someone knows they don't want kids, good for them for knowing themselves that well.

nonmember avatar faroq

there's a million arguments for having kids and for not having kids - but you know what prevails here? the fact that THERE ARE TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. Do none of you women (and men, though i suspect there's fewer of you) who want kids give a care about the fact there's already over 7 billion? You all blame politicians when ''there's not enough fuel/money/jobs/healthcare/teachers/etc'' but you don't blame yourselves for creating too much demand (as in, having kids because you 'feel' it's your 'life purpose'). This is such bull: yes it's in our nature to procreate - specifically, for men to inseminate and travel, and for women to want to raise young. however, it's also in our nature to kill sometimes - to harm, steal, etc. unfortunate but true. well, we learn NOT to do those bad things, we as a society make murder (and even suicide!) illegal. So we repress the urge to end people's lives, but not to create new ones? that doesn't make sense! the world is finite! We need to make legal suicide and euthanasia - especially if women won't stop thinking of 'their life plans' and start thinking like human beings - citizens of the world. Selfish, all of you

nonmember avatar faroq

...a salient point here is - if you really 'have that need' to care for a human creature, ADOPT! it is SO egotistical to be like ''no i want a miniature version of myself running around'' - there's actual kids out there right now who are living and starving and alone and uncared for. HOw can you be so selfish as to WANT your own kids, when kids that are already alive are going without love? Children may be the future but today belongs to me! THe priority is ALWAYS for those living over those not yet conceived - instead of having your 'birth plan' nonsense from watching movies, you could be caring for a real kid out there that needs you right now. Funny how, to status-hungry women out there, the idea of actually caring for a real pre-existing kid doesn't appeal. THAT's selfish. SHame on you.

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