The World Would Be a Better Place if Fewer People Had Babies

Rant 28

not having childrenThis may come as a shock to those of us with kids, but having children isn't the be-all, end-all of existence. Not everyone needs to have them. But if you ask Canadian writer Joe O'Connor, those couples who choose not to have babies are "selfish." It's laughable, really.

As a mom of two who spends a lot of time around other moms, I can honestly say not EVERYONE should be a mom. In fact, very often I would say MOST people shouldn't be parents. There are a whole host of reasons not to procreate and only one compelling one to do so: You want kids and you want to raise them.

It's simple. If that isn't you, do the world a favor and don't have kids. Not everyone is cut out for late nights with sick babies, screaming fits for hours on end, and all the less fun parts of parenthood. Good for them for knowing that.

As a mother I would never suggest that someone needs a baby to have their life be whole. If anything, I sometimes envy those who don't have kids. I wouldn't trade my kids now that I know them, but sometimes I have twinges where I wish I had been able to consider the childless life.

Those who can are lucky!

Being childless isn't being empty. It doesn't mean being unhappy or being bad in any way. It isn't selfish. If anything, it's unselfish. It's better for our world (for more reasons than the environment) to not procreate. Why does the world need a bunch of kids whose parents didn't want them? What good does that do anyone?

No. No one should be called "selfish" for making the right choice for them. My guess is O'Connor is just jealous and he can't admit it. Maybe it just looks like the childless are having that much more fun.

Do you think it's selfish not to have kids?


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nonmember avatar Amy

The world would certainly be a better lookin place without the stretchmarks and sagging body parts not to mention the wrinkles and grey hairs that childbearing and childbearing cause.

And the world would be a better-rested place to perhaps.

That being said, I would encourage anyone to try parenting if they think they might like it. It is really far more fun and easier than parents would have you believe! I have been a mom for ten years and speak from experience.

Elizabeth Trosper

While most people aren't  cut out to be parents, they don't know if they are meant to be or not until they have them. There are people out there who do know before hand and people who know they don't want to have any. No one should give into the pressure of having them and also don't listen to the "It's different when you have your own" or "it's different when you have kids." if you have issues such as a disability or health problems and you wonder how will you take care of a child if you have this issue, don't listen to "you will figure it out' "You will find away" because when you do have them, you don't just become god. Also having kids does not magically make your problems go away or even make you overcome them magically because you now have a child you need to take care of. That may be true for some people but not everyone is like that. I am not saying people with mental illnesses or disabilities shouldn't have kids, it's a personal choice. I waited a while to have kids and waited until I had support around me before having them. Of course there will still be people out there who would think I am not cut out to be a parent.

Elizabeth Trosper

BTW the term for people who choose to not have kids are called childfree. The word for people who have kids but didn't want any before were never childfree to begin with. They were just childless.

Unfortunately parents can't turn back time to do it all over by not having them after finding out parenting isn't their thing.

nonmember avatar Cee

Parents and the childfree are both selfish. People who become parents do it because THEY want to. It will make THEM happy, it will give THEIR life a different meaning. Children don't appear because they want to, they appear because someone wanted them. People who choose to be childfree are selfish because not having children is what THEY want it makes THEM happy and being childfree gives THEIR life a different meaning. Both are pursuing their interest.
Parents and the childfree are selfish, it is just when parents choose to convert their selfish decision into everyone's problem or the reason to feel superior in the complain department that they take it out on the childfree by calling them something like selfish to insult them.

Pinkmani Pinkmani

Cee, but if you don't want a child why would you ever bring one into the world? I don't think the childfree are being selfish. Aren't you supposed to do what makes you happy in life? If not, then damn, I've been doing it wrong for a quite some time. 

Schr0131 Schr0131

 As a married, childfree woman closing in on 30(sigh lol), I feel like I'm starting to have more conversations about this type of decision with friends and family. The one thng I pick up on more is an underlying sense of disappointment. I'm not sure why. As someone who never wanted children, but recently is starting to change my view on it, but it makes me think of an article I read many years ago, and there was this statement: "Don't give you baby a job before it's born. It's not their job to make you happy, to fix your marriage, or to please someone else, or because you think that what adults do." That really stuck with me. 

nonmember avatar Cee

Pink, I am not saying its selfish to insult. The choice to do whatever makes you happy, whether that is having children or not it is self driven. It does not take a society into account (for the most part), its your choice because it makes you happy. I am childfree and I am selfish because it is my choice and I get to do what makes me happy. It is a selfish choice, but like I said earlier so is parenting. It is not an insult here, reread my comment, I said both sides were an extent. If that word bothers you replace it with self driven or something else that would please you.
Basically..everyone should do what makes them happy without getting mad at people who did not choose the same path they did.

Pinkmani Pinkmani

Cee, well, I thought life was about doing whatever pleases you. So, if someone thinks having a child or not having a child will make them happy, then so be it. I obviously interpretyour statement differently from what you explained. 

Schr0131 Schr0131

@Cee. I think it's difficult for people to see it like it is and realize that in today's society, many children are not essential, because then you just sound like a heartless jerk :/  If EVERY person has 2-3 kids, the population exponentially doubles with every generation. The world already has problems with needing jobs, food, clean water, etc. I'm not sure women as a while can handle knowing the ultimate truth- most of us want children for selfish reasons. But like you were saying... IT'S OKAY!!!! WHO CARES! Just ADMIT IT, and embrace everyone's choices :)

AniAngel AniAngel

I'm all for "selfishly" making myself happy, and I'm all for your happiness whatever your choice is... Call it selfish, call it smart, whatever. Just make yourself happy, having kids when you don't want them is terrible, not having a baby when all you want is to love a baby is terrible.

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