Mom Who Abandoned Baby Deserves to Get Him Back

Say What!? 27

baby toyI read somewhere recently that moms are six times more likely to be called "bad" on the Internet than dads. I'm not surprised. After all, the story of a mom who abandoned her baby at a Texas hospital, then showed up in court to tell the judge she wanted him back has brought out a spectacular amount of hate when you consider the facts of her case.

Authorities say the unnamed mom followed Texas' Moses Law when she took her healthy infant, wrapped him in a blanket, and placed him in a tub, then dropped him off at an urgent care clinic. When she showed up in court a few weeks later, she explained to the judge that she already had three kids at home and was scared she couldn't handle a fourth.

Can you blame her?

The mom has asked the judge to give the abandoned infant to a member of her family so that she can be a part of his life once again. She's explained that her change of heart comes in part because she's found out she does have that family there to support her with four kids.

I can't help but respect that.

I'm about to share something the parenting books won't. The first few days after a baby is born can be the worst of your life. You're exhausted, but you're too scared to sleep. Your child is crying and you can't figure out why, and if you're trying to figure out the whole breastfeeding thing, your nipples feel like someone took a cheese grater to them.

I have just one child and this was my introduction to parenting. Now imagine four kids plus all that. This is why safe haven laws exist at all. Because we don't have many resources for new parents. There is no nurse visiting for free like there is in many other first world nations. There is no break for a new mother.

As a result, parenting a newborn can take you to the very edge of your limits, and some people -- sadly -- have gone over. We have countless stories of kids who were murdered by frustrated parents.

But this mom didn't do that. She did the right thing, the only thing moms can really do under the law.

It may sound cold, it may sound callous, but she did the best she could for that little guy in a pretty crappy situation. To me that counts as good parenting. It's putting a baby's needs ahead of your own.

So why shouldn't she get her baby back?


Image via olivierthereaux/Flickr

baby first year


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Alexis Eggleton

She didn't dump the baby in the garbage, she took the baby to a medical office in a moment of self-doubt and quite possible, post-partum depression and exhaustion.

She should have to demonstrate that she truly wants the baby, but she should get her baby back.

nonmember avatar shelly

Gees, I don't know...because she ABANDONED him? Once you make that choice, you've made it. She did the right thing once. Hopefully, she will again and leave the child alone.

nonmember avatar Happydad

She may have done the right thing by the baby, certainly better than harming or neglecting the child, but once you drop off the baby and leave, all parental rights to that child should be legally severed. Sure it may be overwhelming, but if you decide to abandon they (yes she abandoned the baby) to the state, you should have no more legal claim as a parent to that child.

jazaree jazaree

I completely agree with Alexis.  She should have to prove she is emotionally capable of handling the others as well as her newborn.  Raising a newborn, along with other children, is definitely not easy but it can be done.

AniAngel AniAngel

She asked the baby be given to a family member not back to her, if that family member is fit then her request should be honored.

jalaz77 jalaz77

Cause she couldn't handle a 4th???!!!! That's why!! She needs to close her legs for gods sake. Good for her for doing the right thing. Hopefully she walks away again. It would be fair to that child to have a stable home, she is not stable.

early... earlybird11

Wait wait wait. She did.what the law asks... No questions, safe havens and she is being punished.... I'm not saying it was right but she didn't dump him on the side of the road. this should at least be considered if the family memers in question are willing

Mommi... MommietoJB

And this big back lash for a desperate mother safely giving up her child is why more babies are going to be dumped. I think she did the right thing , a better plan would of been if she stayed on birth control or had her tubes tied after her third but no one can control other people bodies but its time for women to take charge of there bodies and also think about how bringing more children in the world will affect the ones they already have.

the4m... the4mutts

I respect this mother's actions. I'm so sick,and,fucking,TIRED of hearing about women harming their children... she had some weakness, she was aware of her limitations, maybe had a hormone imbalance, and is now trying to make things right.

Much better story than the ones we've read here lately.

She should be given the chance to at least be a part of the child's life while its being cared for by a more capable family member.

nonmember avatar Sarah

She followed the law and she did the right thing. So many time people do horrible things to their babies because they don't want them/can't take care of them. She may have been overwhelmed and over emotional. I think she should have a second chance. She didn't do anything to hurt the baby, she did what she thought was best at the time. Later on she found out she had more options than she knew.

1-10 of 27 comments 123 Last