Mom Leaves 10-Week-Old Behind to Go on Vacation & I'm Jealous

This Just In 161

newborn babyThere is a giant controversy dividing the parenting community. Big surprise, right? This time the subject of debate is at what age do you leave your newborn to go on vacation?

Rebecca Eckler decided it was a good time to take a vacation to Mexico and left her 10-week-old newborn son with her fiancé’s mother and the nanny. She wrote an article about her decision on Mommyish.com and received a lot of backlash from her readers.

This made me question myself. When did I first leave my girls overnight with someone other than my husband? My answer was when my second child was 3 years old; she is 5 now.

Why did I wait so long? I waited so long because I couldn't have left the girls with someone else because I would have freaked out. Not because they are not good caregivers but because I am totally overprotective. I didn't (I still don't really) trust anyone else to care for my child the way that I would, and I needed to know that they were old enough to convey their wants and needs to a caregiver.

All the worry and stress over leaving my children that first time wasn't really necessary. Once I let myself relax and realize they were happy and well taken care of by my in-laws, I had the best birthday celebration ever. Yes, my first time away was to go into the city and spend a night away with my husband in a bed that didn't have little people sleeping between us and kicking us in the head. We had a room where we could sleep in until we woke up. We went to a show and had a fancy grown-up dinner and went dancing with our closest friends.

By the time we returned home, I was happy to be back with my girls, but I am forever grateful for those 24 hours. I was also relieved to know that I could leave my children in someone else’s care if I needed or wanted to with the knowledge they would be perfectly taken care of and happy. Truthfully, I’m not even sure they missed us at all with all the fun activities that Grandma and Grandpa planned to keep them entertained.

I also wanted to kick myself for not doing it sooner. Moms need a break once in awhile. Those breaks, time away, to decompress can make us better mothers to our children. If we never leave or have time to ourselves, it becomes too much. Even if it’s just an overnight trip to a local hotel while your mom watches the kids, you need that time to just be you and not just someone’s Mommy. We all need a night to ourselves every now and again.

I don’t see what all the anger toward Ms. Eckler is about. Maybe it’s jealousy because, honestly, I kind of wish that I had the balls to take a trip to Mexico when my girls were smaller. Hell, I wish I had the balls to go away for a week without them now. Baby steps, my friends.

How old was your child the first time you left them overnight with a caregiver?


Image via SCA Svenska/Flickr

baby first year, childcare, in the news, newborns

161 Comments

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Meg Moore

not before the first year.especially newborns..they need you.

nonmember avatar nicky

Not til after his first birthday. Don't see how its even possible when you're breastfeeding...

xreds... xredstarsx

Right after her first birthday. I was pressured into it. Didn't do it again until she was 2. It was much better then.

L25 L25

My Son was 6 months when I had to have surgery and leave him overnight, and my daughter was 1.5 years old when my Husband and I won a trip for 5 days. Both times were VERY difficult for me. I don't leave my kids with people, they have only stayed with 2 people ever, both are my parents. I don't trust anyone else, or feel comfortable with it- And I do have lots of wonderful friends. I don't have an issue with someone leaving their child in the care of a responsible person to go on vacation, I mean if you can live with it and feel its ok then go for it. Could I do it? Probably not. Would I want to? Probably, I mean who doesn't need a vacation with a 10 week old, I would have gladly taken just 8 hours of sleep in a row, heck even 6 would have felt like a Hawaiian breeze. I think our Motherly instincts of  YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS, just takes over and women just assume that if you left a 10 week old that you're a bad mother who doesn't have a problem leaving her baby. Less judging, more supporting is my feeling. Let's support each other, it's what we all need.

nonmember avatar Megan

It depends on how much the time away is needed. As an exclusive BF mom, for me that likely means year/s before I will naturally choose to go away without her. However if my husband (and/or) I NEEDED to get away for a few I would do it without hesitation. Including at 10 weeks. Because making sure mom and dad are doing okay, can often mean a healthier overall situation for the baby. Doesn't give you an excuse to be negligent or absent, but you do have to take care of yourself if you are going to be fit to raise another human being.

BeckyP. BeckyP.

My son is almost 3 years old and he has never stayed over night with anyone besides me. I don't plan on it anytime soon either.

Katie Elizabeth Anne

My son is almost 2 1/2 and 2 weeks ago for the first time since he was born did I go out, I went on a day trip off island for a  friends wedding cake tasting. I can not imagine leaving my 10 week old for a week, I mean for those first 3 months I hardly left my house!

early... earlybird11

He has stayed over night at his grandparents ( both) since he was two weeks old ( recovery from a bad delivery then complications ) about 10 Times . He stayed with his uncle, my brother the first time when. He was 6 months old cuz I had to go somewhee at 3am and hubby wad out of town for work. It was hard the first couple times but I trusted everyone he was with. Obviously . I didn't let anyone make me feel guilty. Ever about it.

nonmember avatar MomofTwo

I guess it depends on the situation, but as long as the baby is with loved ones whom you trust go for it! I went on a 4 day trip, 3 months after my first baby was born. It wasnt a big deal, I left her with my mom and considering that I had to go back to working full time 6 weeks after she was born she was used to my mom being her primary care taker.Anyone who says parents are "wrong" for leaving their babies before they are a year old are just judgy people who want to feel like they are doing it "right" and being better parents etc. My sister and I are completely different in parenting... I dont mind asking for help if I ever feel overwhelmed, my sister wants to be the only one to care for her kid.... Take a guess who enjoys the time with their child more, and who is always stressed out and has less patience with their kid?

Mommy... MommyUnmuted

At 10 weeks, I had trouble leaving my baby in the other room, let alone overnight somewhere.  Our first night was when my daughter was 2 1/2 and that was tough, even with her grandparents.  Not tough enough to enjoy Vegas, of course :)

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