5 Things I'll Do Differently With My Next Baby

Hot List 19

nicole fabian-weberThe older my daughter gets, the more I'm learning to relax. And the more I'm learning to relax, the easier it is to look back at her first few weeks with a new, clearer perspective. I definitely made some mistakes, and I definitely could have made things a lot easier -- for myself and for my baby.

With that said, here are 5 things I plan on doing differently with my next baby.

I'll stress less, enjoy more. The first few weeks with my newborn were rough. And I'm pretty positive I made them more rough by stressing out so much. Worrying about why my daughter was crying/not sleeping/not pooping/whatever didn't change anything. So, next time around, unless something is obviously wrong, I'm going to just try to enjoy my teeny newborn -- crying, not sleeping, and all. (Of course, this is easier said now that I'm [somewhat] well-rested.)

I won't compare myself to other mothers. Moms love giving advice. Sometimes it's helpful, sometimes it's not. I now know -- thanks to all the advice I've gotten -- that everybody does things differently. And that's okay, because everybody's babies are different. Just because someone else puts their baby on a schedule doesn't mean you have to. If you try it and it works, great! If not, feed/sleep/whatever on demand -- and be confident that you're making the right decision. (Your baby will be your guide!)

I won't be so concerned with getting everything on camera. Of course I'm happy that I have tons of pictures of my daughter's first bath, but hey, guess what? If I had pictures of her second bath instead, which was days later, who cares? My husband and I were so concerned with capturing everything with the camera that we weren't 100 percent engaged in the moment.

I'll feel less guilty. At least, I'll try. My in-laws came into town when my daughter was 3 weeks old, and one day, they kindly offered to watch her for an hour while I enjoyed a pedicure. Yeah, there wasn't a ton of enjoying going on. I mean, don't get me wrong, it was a nice experience, but the entire time I kept looking at my watch, wondering when I'd be able to get back home. I didn't even stay for the "drying portion" where you read an Us Weekly and zone out.

I'll ask for/accept help. Everybody wants to help when you have a baby, so why not take them up on it? And why not be specific? If a friend wonders if there's anything she can do to help, and you need milk, ask her to pick some up for you! It'll make your life easier, and it won't bother them in the slightest. Think about it: Would it bother you?

What did you do differently with your second baby?


Image via Nicole Fabian-Weber

baby first year

19 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

cheesdog cheesdog

Let them cry. Not for hours on end, but I didn't let my son whimper for a second. He was a very lazy eater and I had a hard time getting him to latch on, so I decided to pump and give him breast milk that way. However, I only made it 5 week before drying up because if he cried, I picked him up and dropped everything else, including pumping. E was colicky, so he cried all. the. time. With baby number two, I hope to have the will power to let them cry for 10 minutes while I pump (if they won't bf, of course. I would LOVE for the next baby to bf).

Jesicalyn Mary Potter

Ill join le leche leage... Granted if what happens with the next baby that happened with the first 2 it probably won't make much of a differance, but Ill gain some good skills and make some new friends. All of which makes it worth it.

nonmember avatar Tam

CheeseDog - Just a thought: If your LO is crying for 10 minutes you will likely be too stressed/rushed to even have a let down. So if that happens, please don't think that it's your milk supply, it's just hard to have a good letdown and flow unless you're super relaxed and focused. =D

Waag Waag

With this next one I'm going to slow down and enjoy them being a baby instead of worrying they aren't learning stuff as fast as others my son is very independent and never wanted to be a baby and I couldn't wait till he was crawling and walking now I wish I had slowed down and enjoyed him just being a baby

wjbra... wjbrady2011

I would not sweat the small stuff and I would make more time for myself. I literally did not even give myself time to shower some days. Also when he was asleep I wouldn't get up every five minutes to check on him I would just sleep. I would just take a step back and breathe.

Amanda Solita Shovlin

With my second one I didn't worry about the small things that much. My husband complains all the time that i let our second do stuff that I wouldn't let my first do. But I was worried more about milestones and development. My oldest has a mild form of Autism so I was always looking for signs in my second. I had her evaluated by a team of professionals when she was 9 months and they came back with a clean bill of health, so I lessened up with the stressing but it's always in the back of my mind. She's 19 months now and so far i see nothing that would point that way.....but like i said it's always in the back of my mind.

cew816 cew816

I will worry less about letting my husband sleep.  He hates for babies to cry, so when my daughter was a baby, I sprung up as soon as she started crying, and I would stay awake for hours with her while my husband laid nicely in dream land.  It pissed me off really bad, until she was finally about 9 months old and he said "Why dont you just let her lay in bed with us?"  WHAT!?!  All this time I was trying to be super mom, and protect her, and stressing out, when I could have been sharing the load with him.


Im also going to worry less about people seeing me breast feed.  We are very social people, and out all the time.  I always supplemented with formula, even when she was days old, and I never really had a good supply because of that.  But I learned more after I finally dried up, then I did before I had her, so I can apply those skills with my next one

MomLi... MomLily67

With the second one, you'll know many things you totally ignored before. You'll know they won't brake, or get a terrible rash if their daipers are wet for a few minutes, can wait an extra second to be fed, that it does not matter if they have baby food stains on their shirts.

Mrs.Salz Mrs.Salz

Not much. I was relaxed with my first. I really don't understand why so many moms are so worried and freaked out.

nonmember avatar NoWay

I won't be having any more kids, but if I could, I would definitely take the time to enjoy them more when they are little. When my boys were little, I was going through a divorce and was a stressed out single mom. I was so stressed out all the time that I didn't really get to enjoy the toddler years. I was sad and angry all the time... :( My boys are now pre-teens and I still cry thinking about everything I missed when they were little. I am now married to a wonderful man who has taken my boys in as his own and he has two grown children from a previous marraige. My step son is getting married next year and I can't wait to have step-grandbabies! :)

1-10 of 19 comments 12 Last
F