No mom ever thinks she will be the one who leaves her baby in a hot car all day. But we have another sad and tragic story today out of Nashville, Tennessee, where a 5-month-old baby boy died in the back of his mom's minivan. It will break your heart, Moms and Dads, but keep reading. There's a lesson in here that could save your baby's life.
Police say Stephanie Gray arrived at her son's daycare on Tuesday afternoon to pick him up. Only little Joel wasn't there because he'd never been dropped off.
According to the cops, it appears the boy spent the entire day in the back of his mom's minivan. The baby's death has been described as "heat related."
But get this. Tuesday would have been baby Joel's SECOND day at daycare. You know what that means? This was not a routine for this mom of four. What was probably routine was taking her three older kids to school -- which she did on Tuesday before driving home, seemingly forgetting little Joel in the backseat and never making it to the daycare.
When you're a mom, especially mom of a baby, routines are everything. They keep us functioning when we've had so little sleep we can barely stand up. The little stuff (ahem, showering, washing the dishes), might not get done, but as long as you've got a routine down for the big stuff, your body can function on a sort of auto-pilot.
But when the routine is changed, big things can happen, disastrous things. Just look at what happened for Stephanie Gray. The cops say she was rushed to the hospital after the discovery of her son's body. It doesn't sound like she was some uncaring idiot. It sounds like she genuinely forgot. And I'm going to wager it's because the daycare drop wasn't routine yet; her body couldn't guide her to get it done.
It's a tragic mistake. But you're kidding yourself if you think it could NEVER happen to you. Routines change. We forget things. Whether it's a baby in a hot car or turning the coffee pot off, it's human.
Moms! Dads! If your routine is going to change, please be hyper vigilant with your kids. It could save their lives!
Have you had a routine change in your busy parenting life? What has fallen through the cracks?
Image via jurvetson/Flickr
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Comments 382
These stories are always so heartbreaking...my question is, why didn't the daycare call to see where the baby was? Our daycare always calls to see where our daughter is if we happen to forget to call on days where she's out sick.
I just returned to work from maternity leave last week. Apart from missing my daughter like crazy to pumping for her milk, I was thinking of her constantly. I don't understand how you forget a baby in this situation when so much work goes into putting them in the car and getting all their bottles/gear ready to take with you. But I feel nothing but extreme sympathy for parents who go through this. Although I can't imagine how this happens- especially in this scenario- I understand how you can cruise around on autopilot. Parents like this woman carried their children for nine months, labored to bring them into the world, cared and nurtured them until one day, they subject them to one of the worst and most painful deaths, resulting from a horrific mistake. To have to live with that is unimaginable and punishment in itself..
Sorry, no excuse. Yes, I feel sorry for her but there is not a reason why you should ever forget your child in a car or anywhere for that matter.
If having four children was too much for her to remember where all of them were, she clearly shouldn't have had them. She clearly had bigger problems then a change in routine. And who cares about the mother? I shudder to think of this baby frying and screaming in the car all day!! Accidents do happen, they can happen to anyone... but forgetting a baby in car all day long is not one of them.
I'm sorry, but there is ABSOLUTELY no good exuse for "forgetting" your child. I've only been a mom for 3 years, and my youngest who is only 14 months, has also never been forgotten. Right after my husband and I had my first child, we forgot he was in the car.....for like two seconds! We realized what we had done before we had even gotten to the doors of the store!! There is absolutely no exuse for this. And as others have stated, this mother was well experienced, having three older children, and then on top of that, yes it was only the second day of daycare, but she was used to that baby being at home with her!!! She should have been wondering where her baby was. I think I would remember NOT stopping at a daycare. Furthermore, as others have also stated, I ALWAYS check my back seat....even if I know there's no one back there, and you know what? Both my children are living, and I have never left them in the car, alone. And I also see the flaw that Venae saw......how in the hell did she get back in the car, drive all the way to the daycare, and never notice her dead baby in the back seat? There are too many questionable things here.....she apparently does not pay attention to her children or the environment around her!!! What she needs is to be locked up for child endangerment. And the older children? They should clearly be with someone else, someone who will not just "accidentally" forget they are in the car all day long. DISGUSTING.