7 Shortcuts All New Moms Should Take (& Not Feel Guilty About)

New MomsWhen I was a new mom, every single thing had to be perfect. I was the no medication at the birth, no TV EVER, breastfeeding until age 15, stay-at-home, sling wearing super mom I imagined I would be. This was true until my baby turned 18 months and I had a second baby. Then it became all about whatever made my life easier.

The fact is, I was happy both ways. I was happy as a mom who was entirely devoted to perfection the first year AND I was happy as a mom who chilled out a bit and took the "easy" way. Now that my kids are older, you can't even tell who had attachment, perfect mom and who had "do what you can" mom. So I say, do what makes you happy. Do what is "easier" and don't sweat it.

Writer Rhiana Maidenberg has a great piece on Huffington Post about moms who take the "easy road" and why that isn't always wrong. To celebrate those moms, I give you 7 shortcuts all new moms can and should take if they are feeling frazzled. See below:

  • Buy the jarred food: Seriously, moms! There is no score card at the end of babyhood. If you puree 10,000 vegetables by the time your kid hits 12 months, you don't get a Gold Medal. You just get exhausted and frazzled and you have spent less time enjoying your kids. Go ahead, buy the jarred food. Go organic if you want and then you're free to play with your babe. Or read a book. Whatevs.
  • Stop nursing: For me, nursing the second time was a breeze. I made it through 2.5 years without so much as a blocked duct. But the first time was HELL on Earth. My baby was slow to gain and I had every lactation consultant massaging my boobs, feeding me Fenugreek, and listening to me cry about pumping. I got through that year, but I learned one important thing about nursing: If it is making you miserable, for the LOVE OF GOD, STOP. It isn't worth it.
  • Skip the park: As a mom to a 4-year-old and 5-year-old, I spend hours (and hours and hours) at the park each week. I always laugh with recognition when I see the overwrought new mom trying to cram her 3-month-old into the baby swing. You have plenty of time to spend at the park. Spend your time at home now while you can.
  • Stroll or don't stroll: Baby carriers are great. So are strollers. Don't be bullied into defining how much you love your baby by how you transport them. Personally, I found the Ergo easier, but if you find the stroller easier, use that for goodness sake.
  • Co-sleep: For many moms (like me), co-sleeping with your new baby is actually the lazy mom route. All I ever had to do to get my babies back to sleep was pop a boob in their mouth. Excellent! If it's not easier for you, then skip it. There is no prize for the best mommy.
  • Skip baby classes: I did a ton of baby classes from Spanish to yoga to singing and massage. Some were good. They helped me network and make new friends. But some were just stressful and hard to get to on time. If it doesn't make sense, don't do it.
  • Stop listening to the judgement: Insecure people love to tell you what you're doing wrong. Many new moms feel awful about themselves because other moms are "doing it better." Your only litmus test should be happy you, happy baby. If those are both in place, who cares what the Stepford mommies think?

Did you take any new mommy shortcuts?

 

baby first year

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nonmember avatar NoWay

Amen!

kjbug... kjbugsmom1517

Ha i must be the shortcut queen cuz i did nearly all of these even with my first and more so with the 2nd. Didnt nurse, co sleep, carry them in any kind of carrier, no parks before they could at the least walk, jarred food all the way, no baby classes and i have 2 healthy happy 4 and 7 year old girls so i musta done something right. Take it easy mommas! It goes so fast. Before ya know it they r going off to school and you are looking back at your frazzled days and wonder why? And for what?

Alway... AlwaysExpecting

Haha As a mom of FOUR children all 5 and under, I can relate!! 


Children are pretty resiliant, as long as you love them to pieces and TRY to be a good mom everyday (even if on some days you fail a little bit!) the kids will be alright :) 


Do your best and forget everything and everyone else who says otherwise! There is no perfect mother or perfect parenting method that creates perfect children.  


So sit back, chill out and enjoy life as a family, not as a stressed out perfect mother who resents the pain and sacrfice of it all!

nonmember avatar HS

Love this!! Makes so so so much sense and I'm not sure why more people don't just GET IT. I work full time and am a single mommy so I have to treasure every waking minute I get with my son. BFing didn't work for us. I tried for a couple months but we couldn't get the whole latching thing. I pumped for a while but my supply ran out. Nothing grates my nerves more than the sancti-bfing-mommies who love to say "breastfeeding creates a bond with your child". Urm, time spent with your child creates a bond actually. My son and I have an amazing bond with or without bfing, with or without a sling. I do co-sleep just because it's easier to get him to bed (I gotta get up early to get ready for work) and it's a few more precious moments for us to spend together, cuddled up or waking up next to each other. But that's ME, US, our OWN experience. There is no one-size fits all box and the high and mightiness is irritating.

JiggyOz JiggyOz

Great article!  I agree that there is too much pressure on moms today to do everything right.  Do what works for you and don't worry about what anyone else thinks!  Kids don't need all the extras, just your love!

Craft... CraftyJenna

Nursing is too worth it. It's the healthiest thing you can feed your baby.  I also don't see how buying bottles, buying formula, mixing formula, sterilizing and washign is a "shortcut". The shortcut is having BM on tap and ready whenever the baby wants to eat. 

nonmember avatar Ashley

I completely agree!!! So many of these applied to me and once I finally did what was best for me and my little one, life was so much better! I second that AMEN!

NewMo... NewMomma.S

Stop nursing!? Do you know the AAP has called it a matter of public health? Once I saw that I just stopped reading. Premie infants get donated breast milk that is frozen then pasteurized (therefore it has less nutrients than fresh) and that is still better than formula! The benefits of nursing include reduced chance of childhood obesity, the child being better socially adjusted, less ear infections and sickness in general, as well ass reduced risk of cancer and other illnesses for mom. That was a stupid thing for you to say. Horrible article. Shame on you.

littl... littlebeanmom

I mostly just do the bare minmum cleaning. I used to have a big routine! I just try to keep the clothes and dishes clean now :)

EvaSa... EvaSamuel

I found nursing to be a shortcut.  If you have a baby who is hungry in the middle of the night and you are co-sleeping or rooming in, you don't even have to get up!  Who wants to go downstairs in the middle of the night a fix a bottle, you hardly have to wake up if you're nursing!

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