The other day, a posting came up in one of my mom list serves. A woman was irate because she felt someone else had "stolen" her baby name. "I wanted to name my son Aidan and then my sister-in-law did," she ranted.
All of us understood. We have all had that sinking moment where we see another person with our child's name and think: "OMG SHE STOLE MY NAME!" But we all need to chillax. Seriously. It's impossible to "steal" a name, and unless you make up a name that no one has ever heard, someone, somewhere will have the same name as your kid. Shocking, I know.
When my children were born, I had enormous pressure, especially with my son. I had to come up with a name that started with an A and had an L after. But I couldn't use Alex or Alec because they were "taken." Hello, challenge.
Well, I made a mistake. I should have used the name Alec (because I love it dammit!) and not worried what anyone else thought.
There is no "reserving" of names, especially with a name like Aidan. How many Aidans do we know in the world? If this is the name you like, then use it. Don't worry about who else used it. Besides, if it's a friend, it's also possible you won't even be friends 20 years from now and then you gave up the name for no good reason.
Baby names are sacred, it's true. In my culture, we only name for those who have died and what you name a child is incredibly meaningful and important. Because of that, I begrudgingly wouldn't overlap a name or reuse one. But that's just me.
If you are naming because you LIKE a name, then use it. No one can "claim" a name. Now, of course, on the other side, there might be some hurt feelings. Personally, I would be silently angry if someone used either of my kid's names, especially if they didn't talk to me about it first.
On the other hand, I don't own those names. They aren't copyrighted. They don't belong to me. Other children have those names.
People should be able to name their children as they see fit, and if someone else has an opinion on that, they should keep it to themselves. All is fair in love and naming children. Isn't that how the old saying goes?
Did you "steal" your baby name or have someone "steal" one from you?
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Comments 29
A little different situation, but... did you ever really love a name, but know someone with that name who was a total bitch/asshole and then it just ruined the name for you? That happened to me with a couple of names!
I would be upset if after I decided what to name my baby, someone I knew used the name before he was born. I would feel like I had to change it becuase we purposefull used a name that was different from anone we knew. It's big in both our families to name after one another but we both wantd our son to have his own name. It took us seven months to find a name, it was horrible, every name I liked Dh didn't and vice versa, or we liked a name but it didn't go with our last name. Now that my son is here I don't really care though.
I don't think it's cool to have the same first AND last name as somebody in the family otherwise at reunions and meet ups it gets confusing, a goo way around that is like my brother is named after my mums brother but has our dads surname (makes the initials RB not RT for example).
I tried a few name combos and found one that sounded nice, then someone said to me "oh you know there's an actor with that name right?" So I looked it up, and am like; Even better cause I like that Actor! ;)
My sister and I were pregnant at the same time with our firstborns and she didn't necessarily STEAL my name, but she was definitely INSPIRED! I named mine Bryn Colleen and she named her daughter Brianne Cathleen. Needless to say, I was a little upset. Oh well, 18 years have passed and our girls are both very close so I guess it worked out in the end :)