Last night I was watching Bravo's Pregnant in Heels. In case you haven't seen it, it's all about how pregnancy concierge Rosie Pope caters to the ridiculous demands of super rich, expecting women in New York City.
Well, her latest client had a request that even surprised Rosie. This woman wanted a wet nurse. At first I thought I had heard wrong. She wanted Rosie to find some stranger to nurse her soon-to-be-born child. What century is this? All I could think was, "Yuck." Then I wondered how many people in this day and age actually seek out wet nurses and the answer shocked me.
Just to be clear, I am not talking about organized milk sharing programs. That is a great option for women who can't produce enough milk on their own. That milk goes in a bottle. This is completely different. The thought of letting your child suck on a random woman’s boobs was just too weird for me, but lots of women do it.
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The job is actually making a comeback. L.A. based agency Certified Household Staffing provides a wet nurse registry filled with over 1,000 women who breastfeed professionally. Most of these women will spend a year or more with a family. The cost? $1,000 a week.
There are also message boards dedicated to helping women find wet nurses and for lactating women who want to provide that service. There are dangers, warned Pope during the show -- you have no idea about this woman's diet, health, habits, communicable diseases. All of those things will affect a nursing baby. But I assume any parent who hires a wet nurse will look into the person's medical history -- at least I hope so.
I certainly understand the desperation that comes from wanting to breastfeed a child but not being able to. I wasn't a very good "producer" either. And this society is not very understanding about moms who do not breastfeed or give it up too quickly. You can almost feel vilified. For some people, formula is just not acceptable. But having someone nurse for you just feels so bizarre. Breastfeeding is not only about nutrients, it's about bonding with your child. Why in the world would you want some stranger to have that intimate connection with your newborn baby?
Would you pay someone to nurse your baby?
Image via sdminor81/Flickr
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Comments 102
I'm just curious for those of you talking about the bonding issues, are you saying that ff mothers don't bond with their children? And if that if a ff mother can bond with her child then like a nursing mother shouldn't allow anyone else to bottle feed her child. My baby knows I am it's mother. I am the one that takes care of most her needs. I am the one that gives her security by answering to her cries and picking her up. You know what else she also has a special bond to her daddy because he is her daddy. she knows it. he also will answer to her cries change her diapers. if you show love and attention to your baby that is what makes you bond not whipping a boobie out for baby to suck on. I have no problem for my baby loving someone that would take care of her needs be it me, daddy, sibling or relatives. to turn your nose up to a practice that has been done for hundreds of years and has helped babies survive and even given mom a break is just a little ignorant to me.
Good thing you never lived in a time when there wasn't an option for people who didn't produce much. Before the advent of refrigeration or delivery in cities, people did not drink milk regularly. Unless you owned some animal that produced it, you didn't have milk, which meant that if you couldn't make your own breastmilk, you had to find someone else to share their's with your baby, or your baby died. It wasn't a matter of "Well, this is a last-ditch effor", it was "My baby needs food, and that comes from boobs."
When did it become natural in this society for babies to be fed milk from another species in a plastic container over human milk delivered in the safest, most sanitary way possible? This society has become more backward the more "advanced" it goes.
I feel I'd probably get way too jealous of the wet nurse....but that's me. However, I also, would have no problem getting paid a grand a week to feed someone else's baby :P
I'm glad it is coming back! I think it's a lot more weird to feed a human child synthetic milk.
I was deathly ill during my daughter's pregnancy and the doctors did not think I would survive. A friend of mine was a lactation councilor and was still nursing her 18 month old. I was so grateful when she offered to nurse my unborn baby. If I lived and was physically able to, I wanted to nurse, but anyway she could have breast milk was the best option. Thankfully I recovered, but I would absolutely have another woman nurse my baby and I would nurse someone else's too.
I wouldn't do it to "Get a break" Or for convienience, but I would definitly allow it for unpreventable or emergency situations by a family member or a close friend.