A young breastfeeding mother in Missouri is fighting over what she says was an unfair comment made by a manager at a local Denny's. As she was nursing her baby, she says a manager told her to cover up. When she said she didn't have a cover, she became embarrassed and quickly left.
The story is making headlines for good reasons. All Tiffany Morgan wanted to do was feed her child and she was made to feel like a common criminal. According to her, no one was even complaining.
Morgan even had a card that stated Missouri's breastfeeding statute. It states that a mother is allowed to breastfeed with as much discretion as possible in any public or private location. Seems clear, no? Um, nope. Actually it's not at all.
What is "as much discretion as possible"? Morgan didn't have a cover but she said she wasn't actively trying to flash anyone. So was she discreet or not? Who decides?
This is the kind of thing that is so ridiculous. A young mom shouldn't have to debate whether or not she is being "discrete" when her baby is hungry. It's a BOOB, people! If you don't like it, look away. For the love of God, it won't bite you.
I will never understand how a mall can be littered with photos of Victoria's Secret models in barely there lingerie, but a breastfeeding mom must be "discreet." Do we really hate babies? Or is it just women's bodies we hate?
We moms SHOULD be sick of this. We should take a stand. "Discretion" should be an etiquette rule, not one that is actually state law. All the state needs to say is that a mom is allowed to breastfeed in public or private. We can take care of the rest.
Most moms know without a law that she shouldn't breastfeed and drive. She knows without a law that she shouldn't breastfeed while in a moving vehicle. So my guess is most women are smart enough not to purposely try to flash a whole restaurant of people their naked upper body.
If that happens, it's because the baby was hungry.
When stories like this happen in restaurants, it's especially galling. Everyone has a right to eat there as they wish except the baby? How does that seem fair? Is a mom just supposed to let her baby scream in hunger so she doesn't discomfit a random person she doesn't even know?
It's insane to think that a mom should feel guilty or bad or wrong for feeding her child. It's hard enough to be a mom in this culture. Are these the "family values" we want to teach?
Shame on any public place that tries to stop a mom from feeding her hungry infant.
Were you ever told not to nurse?
Image via Mothering Touch/Flickr
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Comments 245
For all you ladies crying about how this mom should have covered up, how about this, the next time you see a woman breastfeeding, throw that blanket over YOUR head. Or maybe you could try and eat with a blanket on your head and see how comfortable that is. I'm so tired of this stupid argument about nursing in public and I wish we could find something a lot more important to cry about. The boob was DESIGNED to feed babies and Americans are the only ones who seem to have a problem with women using their breasts as they were intended. Grow up, people!
It's pretty easy to avoid looking at another diner in a restaurant unless they're sitting across the table from you. When I'm breastfeeding, my baby's head covers most of my breast and my shirt falls down to my baby's face. What's left that requires a baby blanket or a cover?
And seriously, breastfeeding is so gross that it makes you lose your appetite? I find it much more disgusting when I'm in a restaurant and see someone wearing clothing that's a couple sizes too small.
I'm not saying the manager treated her like a criminal, but breastfeeding in a restaurant is not gross. And there was no reason for the manager to call even more attention to it if nobody had complained! We're talking about a Denny's restaurant here. A FAMILY casual atmosphere restaurant. It's not exactly fine dining where bringing children would be discouraged. And yes, I've left restaurants when my kids are misbehaving or causing a disturbance. It's only had to happen once - they remember. But I don't consider a baby crying out of hunger to be misbehaving. That's how an infant orders it's meals. The menu is just somewhat limited.
How should I be more discreet? Sure, I could try throwing a blanket over myself when I'm out in public - or even in a friend's home. But neither of my daughters was willing to eat under a blanket when we were in the privacy of our home, I can't expect an infant to understand that now we're out in public so suddenly the food source is going to be hot and uncomfortable. Not to mention that if my baby starts throwing/kicking/pulling the blanket off and waving his/her head around because he/she doesn't like the blanket, isn't that drawing more attention to what I'm doing? Not to mention the fact that all that movement is likely to make more of my breast visible than if I just lift my baby up to it and let my shirt fall down over what the baby doesn't cover?
Oh, and defensive isn't in your face. By definition. Offensive would be in your face. If I'm sitting on a bench nursing a child, less skin is visible than on any of the people walking by in tank tops and shorts, and someone walks up to me and tells me that what I'm doing is inappropriate, the person who is approaching me is taking the offense and getting in my face. My response will be the defense. And until that person says something to me, I doubt that many people would have even noticed that I was doing anything besides resting on a bench and holding a baby. Therefore, I did nothing to get in anyone else's face.
Well, personally I think covering up is something we should do. Maybe it's just because seeing fluid in any shape or form coming out of another persons (any my own) body utterly repulses me eg. snot, spit, semen, breast milk, it just makes me feel ill. And for the record, I don't like ads where the model is half naked, i think they're a bit tasteless. A bit of decorum goes a long way.
do they not make special nursing tops and bras? I know that is what i wore and was able to nurse with most people thinking my baby was nuzzling and napping... I wasnt ashamed of nursing or anything.. but I didnt have breasthausen syndrome either... you are special enough being a mom you dont need added attention from the act of nursing in public.