Most of us have all struggled with mother-in-law issues from time to time. We can cut her some slack. After all, we women do take her baby boy. Who can blame her for not wanting to cut those apron strings too quickly?
Still, there are issues and then there are ISSUES, and a recent inquiry to Dear Prudie's column on Slate is the latter kind. A young new mom walked in on her mother-in-law NURSING her newborn son. Let that sink in a moment, if you will. She walked in on her mother-in-law with her (bone-dry) breast in the baby's mouth (OMG! OMG!).
Assuming this is true and not a means of shocking readers, there isn't a new mom out there who isn't cringing right now. This is Hand That Rocks the Cradle times a billion, no?
Breastfeeding is such an intensely personal and unique experience meant to be shared only by mother and child. I realize many women believe in cross nursing one another's babies and that is all fine and good. But that is consensual. I would be pretty furious if someone nursed my baby without my permission and even more furious if they did so with a dry breast.
Putting your dry breast in a child's mouth for any purpose other than feeding without the permission of the child's mother is abuse. Is it sexual abuse? Maybe, maybe not. But it's abuse. It's an abuse of trust, of position, and of love. Any person who really wants to comfort a baby can use a pacifier or, in dire circumstances, even a clean pinkie finger (though I would rather they hand the baby over to me, naturally).
This is just unacceptable. Sure, my mother-in-law has made judgy comments I don't like, but this crosses the line of basic human decency.
As a mom who nursed for years and does miss that bond a lot, I get that desire to put baby to breast, but if it isn't your baby, you PUT THE BABY DOWN and go get yourself some mental help. Jeesh.
Personally, I would never want to let my mother-in-law hold my baby again. I would be absolutely sick over it.
Would this make you furious, too?
Image via wharman/Flickr
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Comments 192
OH ffs people. It's not abuse or sexual abuse. In many cultures, it is normal that if a baby starts fussing when the mother is away, the baby gets a boob. Any boob. It just seems weird to you because its not our cultural norm.
But I think we can all agree that she should have brought the baby to mom, who happened to be in the other room, instead of dry nursing without permission.
I think I would have called the police. That is just perverted.
The difference between the other cultures that stick any persons boob in an infant's mouth, and our culture in America is that we have pacifier's, bottles, and in this women's case...the mom in the very next room!!! I already can't stand my MIL, if she did this I would land her arse in a mental ward!
Of course it's sexual abuse. She was using a baby for her sexual pleasure. Disgusting.
For you all saying its not abuse...are you crazy? I completely believe this is sexual abuse. Forget asking permission to do that, who would WANT their grand child on their nipple going at it?? Specially dry like that. Its disgusting, awful, sick, wrong, and most of all it is ABUSE. Ew. Just freaking EWWW.