If I had to pick one word that describes what it's like to be the parent of a baby, it would be consuming. As in, your baby consumes your life -- your every waking thought, it seems. When I think back on the months when my kids were very small, I feel like I had a 24/7 focus. My brain station was set to All Baby, All the Time. Which is why I cannot begin to understand how a father in Indiana managed to completely forget about his baby girl last weekend ... for several hours. In a car. During a record-breaking heat wave.
It's the worst kind of story, and one with the saddest possible outcome.
Eighteen-year-old Joshua Stryzinski had brought his baby girl to a friend's house last Saturday afternoon, before he headed on to visit his parents. That's the point where he apparently became "mixed up," and went into his parents' house believing that he'd left the baby with his friend.
The reality was that little Chloe Stryzinski, who was just 4 months old, was strapped into the car seat in the backseat of his car. She remained in the car for hours while Joshua visited with his parents, as temperatures outside soared to 104 degrees.
Joshua discovered her when he finally got back into his car to pick up the baby's mother from work. The 911 call -- which I'm not even going to link to, because I'm certain it's unbearably horrifying -- recorded "screams of anguish" as Joshua's brother begged a dispatcher to send paramedics to help the child.
As you can probably imagine, it was far too late. Chloe suffered third degree burns from the extreme heat (her car seat reached 119 degrees), and she was pronounced dead at a local hospital.
I have to say, I've covered some pretty terrible child-related fatalities before, but I think this is the worst. There are accidents where you can sort of imagine how they might have happened -- no matter how much you'd rather not do so -- and then there's something like this. How does a father take his baby from one house, drive to another and, in the process, forget the baby is in his care? How in the name of everything could he leave his baby in a car for HOURS while she died such an unspeakable death?
As it turns out, it's not as uncommon as you might think. In most cases, it happens exactly like it happened with Joshua: an otherwise loving and careful parent gets busy, or distracted, or confused by a change in his or her daily routine, and forgets a child is in the car. Fifteen to twenty-five times a year, a child is left in this way.
As one researcher said,
Memory is a machine, and it is not flawless. Our conscious mind prioritizes things by importance, but on a cellular level, our memory does not. If you're capable of forgetting your cellphone, you are potentially capable of forgetting your child.
Joshua told police that he was used to knowing his child was in safe hands: "The normal routine is that someone is always watching my kid." Something happened that day, and he just ... lost track. I can't imagine it. I'm sure most of you can't either. As awful as it is to assign blame, it's even more uncomfortable to struggle with the idea that someone may not be at fault here, because the results were so horrific.
Joshua Stryzinski has pleaded not guilty to neglect of a dependent resulting in death. I don't know what will happen to him, but I can't imagine that the law can deliver a punishment worse than what he's already experiencing. I feel sorry for him, and for what he must be going through. But mostly I feel sorry for that little girl, and for the rest of her family who must be wondering the same thing the rest of us are: how could this happen? How?
Do you think it's at all understandable that a parent could forget their baby in a hot car?
Image via The Greenfield Daily Reporter


Tie-Dye for the Fourth of July!
Kim and Kanye's Baby Name Predictions!
Moms Love Birthday Parties, Too!
Father Knows Best - Happy Father's Day!

















Comments 146
Sorry, but I don't understand it. I don't understand how you could ever forget your child is with you. Yes, your concious mind prioritizes things, and I don't get how your child, when in your car is out of your concious mind?
When my daughter, who is almost 9 months, is in the car with me, I am acutely aware of it, at all times. Her carrier is there, I have a mirror so I can see her, I can hear her playing. Even when she falls asleep, I am constantly checking that mirror. So I don't understand how a parent can just "forget" their child is there.
Plus, he had just taken her to someone else, took her out of the car and put her back in! How do you forget that in a short period of time?? Even if he thought he left her with the friend, I mean, do you know how much planning goes into leaving a baby somewhere. That is why it is so hard to believe.
I feel very sorry for this poor little girl, but not for her dad. I don't buy for one minute that he didn't know she was in the car. It seems to me that this is a very convenient way for someone who doesn't want a child to get rid of them. "It was an accident - I didn't know she was there (even though I originally put in the car) - I'm devastated". I call total bullshit and hope this little baby is being loved by the angels.
This is my biggest fear.. Being a Mom to four I am always counting them "1,2,3,4" ok! Your all here. ALl day, all the time, because I can see getting distracted.. Oh I feel so bad for this man. this is so horrible.
i get it. at 4 month your still getting used to your baby, maybe just starting to get a good nights sleep too. at 4 or 5 months i dont remember my hubby forgot to strap our girl in! something we know to do and have done it hundreds of times by then but it just slipped his mind. this is a lil different to the extreme i admit, but daddys can go through mommy brains too. i feel awful for this whole family, i hope they can heal after this tragedy
very heartbreaking
i cant imagine the horror of living with that for the rest of your life.
i cant even imagine the mother of this baby coping and moving on.. i pray she gets counseling...and i also hope the same for the father of the child. its horrific. sad...