It's hard out there for a new mom. You're bored. You're overwhelmed. You're exhausted. And now for the good news. The research gods have given us a safe and easy fix for the new mom blues!
The thing you're doing right now, sitting in front of a computer screen, reading something on the Internet? Pat yourself on the back, Mom, this is exactly what you should be doing now. Then schedule yourself some Facebook time. You deserve it. And don't let anyone tell you different m'kay?!
The over-sharing loons you read about over at STFU Parents and mean mommies online give "mom on the Internet" a bad name. And the horror stories of parents who were too busy playing a game or gambling online to take care of their own kids don't help.
But for all of those jerks, there are hundreds, no, thousands more normal folks willing to throw you a lifeline.
The new research out of Penn State and Brigham Young universities points to a feeling of being "less alone" among moms who are part of online communities (like CafeMom!). At least 76 percent of the moms said they read blogs, and more than half maintain one of their own. About 44 percent of them reported a spike in their use of Facebook since they gave birth too, as they posted photos of their new babies and reached out to other moms for support.
Now this was a teeny tiny study -- just 157 participants -- and it doesn't account for the darker sides of the Internet (you know, like fretting over all the embarrassing things your kids will one day do online!). I'm sure people are going to run all over it with their reasons why this doesn't work.
Allow me to tell them where to stuff it. In the past week alone, I've seen two moms I know write desperate "HELP ME" statuses on Facebook asking for help with their new babies' problems. One breastfeeding mom couldn't seem to get her son to accept breast milk in a bottle from her husband so she could take a few minutes to shower or make dinner. Another breastfeeding mom was struggling with her son's reflux.
And little by little, the responses came in. There were ideas to try. There were remembrances of personal struggles to let these moms know they weren't alone. There was a stream of support for women who didn't have to leave their houses to get it. Heck, they didn't even have to change out of their PJs, and they were given a leg up.
How has the Internet changed your parenting? Has it made you a better mom?
Image via Anastassia/Flickr
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Comments 4
I use the internet to communicate with friends and family...I also have blogs on several sites that I enjoy reading and pages to view funny photos and videos. Since I am a SAHM this can really be sanity savers from time to time. Even sitting on youtube and watching silly puppy videos takes some of the edge off between my daughter and I from time to time. Its a wonderful tool, for the most part :-p
I love Cafemom! Cafemom has been there for me thriougout many of my struggles. About the "not feeling alone" I went through infertiltiy treatments to get pregant with my second child. Took me 2 years and having this circle of friends (some I still talk to) really made a difference as compared to me getting pr egnant with my first (where I felt very alone).
I get online to read quite a bit, but in regards to parenting, no it has not made me a better parent. In fact, a lot of what I read has reinforced what I already believed before I read someone else's opinion. People are very quick to give their opinion and bash anyone who doesn't agree with them, which I learned very quickly. I only solicit very close, trusted people's advice, namely, my mother and other close family members. That said, I do like to lurk on blogs like these.....for laughs and to throw my 2 cents in if it's something I'm passionate about. I agree it can be an outlet and a sanity-saver.
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