I was at Babies "R" Us yesterday buying a gift for a friend, and I found myself in line next to an obviously new mom. There was no baby in sight, but she reeked of baby powder and had the tell-tale unshowered and glazed look emanating from her. She was in her own little world, probably on her first outing without child, so I didn't bother her with any pearls of wisdom. But, damn, I was tempted. For her, and for all of those other first time moms, I offer some of the many mistakes I made ...
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1. Washing newborn clothes before the baby comes home. I know, I know, it's so tempting to rip all of the tags off and have everything waiting neatly in dresser drawers. But, the thing about washed and folded clothes? They can't be returned and you're shit out of luck when your baby breezes through newborn sized onsies in a week.
2. Not accepting offers of help. Because, seriously, the offers have a very short shelf life, and before long, you're on your own.
3. Stressing about the perfect nursery. The baby doesn't care. Your husband doesn't care. Your friends don't care. Your mother doesn't care.
4. Stockpiling diapers. Have an extra pack or so, but when a diaper gets too small, it's completely ineffective. Oh, and if you have a boy, make sure and point his penis down when you put the diaper on. It took weeks for me to figure out why Ben was leaking through every diaper as soon as he had it on.
5. Buying everything new. With Lily, I scoffed at consignment stores and hand-me-downs. My precious baby deserved the newest and the best. By the time Evan came around, I was happy taking something someone discarded on the side of the road for him. A run through the laundry machine or wipe down with Lysol and it's as good as new.
6. Not letting your baby cry. Ever. I have some of the worst sleepers in the world and I'm quite sure this was the reason.
7. Not showering. Yes, you're tired. Yes, it's hard to find time for yourself. Yes, I understand. But a shower a day will do a world of good for you. And the people around you.
8. Pretending you have it all under control. You don't. And it's OK.
Image via Scary Mommy
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Comments 60
Thank you to Melissa Ann for pointing out the obvious in regards to crying. I am a first-time mom with a 14-month-old, and even when he was a newborn, I learned very quickly that not all whimpers needed responded to right away. Babies cry because they are tired as well, and sometimes they just need left alone for 10 minutes. I don't understand why some people can't, or don't want to, understand this. Maybe because they're too proud to admit maybe they don't know everything? I just get so frustrated with people who say any amount of crying is unhealthy. You are NOT ruining your child if you don't always respond asap.
Remeber people all babies are different! I agree with all of it. I use the "cry it out" method a lot. I don't let him full on scream but if he's just fussying and there arn't any tears then there's really no reason to bother them. My son has always slept throught the night for the most part from day 1. The reason I agree with the "cry it out" method is because your child needs to learn that he/she doesn't need to cry to have you pick them up, and also so they can be independent.
I like a lot of the advice here. We have a 33 year old daughter, a 31 year old daughter, a 30 year old son AND an 11 month old son. We were thrilled with the gifts at the 2 baby showers AND the gifts of gently used clothing we received from our friends.
A friend of ours is having her second boy and we are all too happy to give her EVERYTHING our little big boy has outgrown!
Everyone told me I didn't need many newborn clothes so when I had my babyshower I told everyone not to get too many newborn sizes. The problem with that is my son was born 3 weeks early and only weighed 6 pounds 13 ounces and even his newborn stuff was too big, so when we brought him home we had to go get preemie clothes. We didn't have to worry about a nursery, we have the crib and bassinet in our room since we only have a one bedroom apartment right now. I love buying second hand stuff in general so getting second hand baby stuff was a no brainer. My son isn't much of a crier so when he actually cries he does it for a reason, however he does sometimes whimper and make little noises for about 30 seconds and then settles himself down. If I don't shower I'm not a happy person and if I'm not a happy person I can't be a happy mommy so my boyfriend makes sure I have some time everyday where I can take a bath and relax for an hour or so. As for control, I'd be foolish to think I have everything in control, I know how to ask for help when I need it.
I love used baby clothes! They are cheep, or even free, and often times the result of someone else over buying, and have never ben used. I have gotten brand new baby stuf from yard sales! Minimizing the cost on this stuff allows me to spend more on the important stuff, like car seets, that I want to get new for safety reasons.
Also, I have only personally bought one babyout fit, but I probably have to many, of all different sizes, and I haven't even had a baby shower yet!