I was at Babies "R" Us yesterday buying a gift for a friend, and I found myself in line next to an obviously new mom. There was no baby in sight, but she reeked of baby powder and had the tell-tale unshowered and glazed look emanating from her. She was in her own little world, probably on her first outing without child, so I didn't bother her with any pearls of wisdom. But, damn, I was tempted. For her, and for all of those other first time moms, I offer some of the many mistakes I made ...
More from The Stir: Moments in Early Parenthood That Make You Realize: Holy Crap, I'm a MOM
1. Washing newborn clothes before the baby comes home. I know, I know, it's so tempting to rip all of the tags off and have everything waiting neatly in dresser drawers. But, the thing about washed and folded clothes? They can't be returned and you're shit out of luck when your baby breezes through newborn sized onsies in a week.
2. Not accepting offers of help. Because, seriously, the offers have a very short shelf life, and before long, you're on your own.
3. Stressing about the perfect nursery. The baby doesn't care. Your husband doesn't care. Your friends don't care. Your mother doesn't care.
4. Stockpiling diapers. Have an extra pack or so, but when a diaper gets too small, it's completely ineffective. Oh, and if you have a boy, make sure and point his penis down when you put the diaper on. It took weeks for me to figure out why Ben was leaking through every diaper as soon as he had it on.
5. Buying everything new. With Lily, I scoffed at consignment stores and hand-me-downs. My precious baby deserved the newest and the best. By the time Evan came around, I was happy taking something someone discarded on the side of the road for him. A run through the laundry machine or wipe down with Lysol and it's as good as new.
6. Not letting your baby cry. Ever. I have some of the worst sleepers in the world and I'm quite sure this was the reason.
7. Not showering. Yes, you're tired. Yes, it's hard to find time for yourself. Yes, I understand. But a shower a day will do a world of good for you. And the people around you.
8. Pretending you have it all under control. You don't. And it's OK.
Image via Scary Mommy
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Comments 60
mine was not having two or three preemie outfits for the first week or so....
i learned after that...
I made the newborn clothes mistake with my first. Alot. And the nursery one.
And the boy-in-a-diaper comment: why did nobody else tell me this? It explains so much. Thank you!
are people reading these articles F'n blind and retarded??? I don't know how many times someone has to point out that the author NEVER says 'cry it out' before all the dumbasses who are all ruffled feathers the second they see the words baby and cry in the same sentence read it again and realize they were mistaken. Reading articles asking people how they think people should parent are a waste of time anyways, everyone has their own methods and opinions on how children should be raised and other people's opinions really mean nothing unless the child is directly coming to harm from 'bad parenting' some 'mother hen' types are just a little too concerned, for my taste, about how other people raise their children.
everyone also told me to skip newborn sizes but when my baby was born the 0-3 months were way too big on him. i also had to go to stores and buy him newborn sizes. he wore NB for 2 months.
My daughter wore most of her newborn clothes for the first 6-8 weeks. She wasn't very big, I actually wish we had more. Most of her clothes were hand-me-downs or second hand.
I don't think it's a matter of always letting them wail for hours on end, I think it's more "not running to them at the first whimper." Yes, babies cry for a reason, just like adults yell for a reason. How many times have you just been upset, yelled at someone, and felt better after? Some babies will cry for about 60 seconds and calm themselves. Helicopter parents never give that child a chance to learn coping skills.
That last one! SOOOOOO important! We all pretend like we're totally fine and not freaking out - and that's detrimental to all of us! That's why blogging is a lifesaver for me - I realized that I'm not a horrible person because I'm not blissfully happy 100% of the time being home w/ my kids.