I was at Babies "R" Us yesterday buying a gift for a friend, and I found myself in line next to an obviously new mom. There was no baby in sight, but she reeked of baby powder and had the tell-tale unshowered and glazed look emanating from her. She was in her own little world, probably on her first outing without child, so I didn't bother her with any pearls of wisdom. But, damn, I was tempted. For her, and for all of those other first time moms, I offer some of the many mistakes I made ...
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1. Washing newborn clothes before the baby comes home. I know, I know, it's so tempting to rip all of the tags off and have everything waiting neatly in dresser drawers. But, the thing about washed and folded clothes? They can't be returned and you're shit out of luck when your baby breezes through newborn sized onsies in a week.
2. Not accepting offers of help. Because, seriously, the offers have a very short shelf life, and before long, you're on your own.
3. Stressing about the perfect nursery. The baby doesn't care. Your husband doesn't care. Your friends don't care. Your mother doesn't care.
4. Stockpiling diapers. Have an extra pack or so, but when a diaper gets too small, it's completely ineffective. Oh, and if you have a boy, make sure and point his penis down when you put the diaper on. It took weeks for me to figure out why Ben was leaking through every diaper as soon as he had it on.
5. Buying everything new. With Lily, I scoffed at consignment stores and hand-me-downs. My precious baby deserved the newest and the best. By the time Evan came around, I was happy taking something someone discarded on the side of the road for him. A run through the laundry machine or wipe down with Lysol and it's as good as new.
6. Not letting your baby cry. Ever. I have some of the worst sleepers in the world and I'm quite sure this was the reason.
7. Not showering. Yes, you're tired. Yes, it's hard to find time for yourself. Yes, I understand. But a shower a day will do a world of good for you. And the people around you.
8. Pretending you have it all under control. You don't. And it's OK.
Image via Scary Mommy
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Comments 60
My daughter was in newborn diapers for three months and newborn clothes for about five.. lol. She's a little thing.
As for the crying it out thing.. all babies are different. I don't think you can pinpoint that on all babies.
I am a first time mom with an 8 month old, I didnt do any of that but my son is a pretty easy baby so it wasnt hard to be able to shower and he wasnt a big crier, and my mom always wanted to see him she invented a bunch of things for me and my husband to go out and do just so she could watch him
1. Washing the clothes- personally I like to wash ALL clothes before they are worn by any member of the family, no matter if they are new or used. I washed all my daughter's clothes before she was born, but she only had a small handful of newborn clothes that she grew out of quickly.
2. Accepting offers of help- I would agree! I consider myself very lucky as my husband was with me for the first week. My parents (dad and stepmom) stayed nearby in a hotel the first weekend that my hubby went back to work, followed by a week of my grandma staying with us and then my (other) parents stayed in a nearby hotel so that my mom could help me. I also had my husband's family and friends' offers of help.
3. Nursery- I think to each their own. Our daughter's bed was in our room for the first 10 months as we lived in a one bedroom apartment.
4. Diaper stockpile- I think this is something that is mostly done by people who delude themselves into thinking their babies will stay small forever. LMAO Seriously, we bought our diapers at Costco but we never bought more than 2 boxes at a time and if she was getting close to the max weight, the second box would be the next size up. Better they be too big than too small!
6. Letting baby cry- Seriously, some of you need to brush up on your reading comprehension. Nowhere in her article did she say to let the baby cry it out! She was saying not to be the parent that rushes in to your baby's room at every.single.whimper.
7. Not showering- Guilty! But I try not to inflict my stench on the public at large.
8. Control- Is just an illusion anyway.
I would never in my life encourage a mother...be it a first time mom or going on their 15th...to allow their baby to CIO. Sure, it may have worked on your fifth child but that doesn't mean your 10th will respond the same.
Go with your gut. If it feels wrong, it probably is for you and your baby.
I disagree with the crying bit also. I always picked them up and they are both great sleepers.
Also do not completely discount NB size. Wait until baby is born however. Both my kids were tiny and it was a few weeks before 0-3 fit.
Again, the author is not advocating letting a newborn cry it out! Nowhere in the article does she say that! She says "not letting your baby cry. ever." Some moms pick the baby up within a nanosecond of each cry which can sometimes cause more harm than good. Often, if you literally just wait a few seconds, the baby will go back to sleep all by herself. She'll also learn (in small doses at first, of course) how to self-soothe which will not only help her sleep, it will help her deal with small moments of frustration and be a happier baby.
you know i never knew about the penis thing. no one told me and for some reason never figured it out lol. i just put the diaper on as fast as i could to avoid getting peed on.