I was at Babies "R" Us yesterday buying a gift for a friend, and I found myself in line next to an obviously new mom. There was no baby in sight, but she reeked of baby powder and had the tell-tale unshowered and glazed look emanating from her. She was in her own little world, probably on her first outing without child, so I didn't bother her with any pearls of wisdom. But, damn, I was tempted. For her, and for all of those other first time moms, I offer some of the many mistakes I made ...
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1. Washing newborn clothes before the baby comes home. I know, I know, it's so tempting to rip all of the tags off and have everything waiting neatly in dresser drawers. But, the thing about washed and folded clothes? They can't be returned and you're shit out of luck when your baby breezes through newborn sized onsies in a week.
2. Not accepting offers of help. Because, seriously, the offers have a very short shelf life, and before long, you're on your own.
3. Stressing about the perfect nursery. The baby doesn't care. Your husband doesn't care. Your friends don't care. Your mother doesn't care.
4. Stockpiling diapers. Have an extra pack or so, but when a diaper gets too small, it's completely ineffective. Oh, and if you have a boy, make sure and point his penis down when you put the diaper on. It took weeks for me to figure out why Ben was leaking through every diaper as soon as he had it on.
5. Buying everything new. With Lily, I scoffed at consignment stores and hand-me-downs. My precious baby deserved the newest and the best. By the time Evan came around, I was happy taking something someone discarded on the side of the road for him. A run through the laundry machine or wipe down with Lysol and it's as good as new.
6. Not letting your baby cry. Ever. I have some of the worst sleepers in the world and I'm quite sure this was the reason.
7. Not showering. Yes, you're tired. Yes, it's hard to find time for yourself. Yes, I understand. But a shower a day will do a world of good for you. And the people around you.
8. Pretending you have it all under control. You don't. And it's OK.
Image via Scary Mommy
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Comments 60
You're right about the newborn clothes. I had them all washed and ready for my baby's arrival, he was 10lbs 6ozs couldn't even squeeze into them. Luckily I hadn't bought too many since I knew they don't wear that size for long or in his case at all lol
Great info, thanks!
as for the cry it out or no tears method, we tried both. we tried no tears first and my daughter ended up dependant on us to sleep. so for a month (when she was 7 mos) she would wake up every 10 mins all night wanting to be rocked to sleep, only to wake up again. it was hard. when it finally dawned on my sleep deprived mind to call the dr, he said let her cry, check on her every 10 mins to make sure shes safe but dont soothe her. newbies, yes, respond to their cries they need something, but older babies do need to cry for stress relief and to fall asleep!
Allowing your newborn to cry for a few seconds or even 1-2 minutes is not the same thing as "crying it out." It's normal for babies to cry between sleep cycles. It doesn't mean they need to eat or even that they're fully awake. When you go to your baby immediately you interrupt their sleep cycles and teach them that they need an adult to soothe them back to sleep. We all wake up between sleep cycles but adults don't remember it because we're so good at going back to sleep on our own. By picking your baby up immediately you're depriving them of the opportunity to learn how to connect their sleep cycles on their own. I'm not saying to do it every time. If it's been a long time between feedings and she's due or the cry is particularly loud then pick her up right away but if it hasn't been long since she last ate wait a minute. Chances are, a lot of the time she'll go right back to sleep. If babies don't learn this in the first 3-4 months they won't learn it until well in to toddler hood so the author is right. A few seconds isn't going to hurt, traumatize or emotionally scar your child. I promise.
no newborn clothes ok maybe 1 thing... 1 pack newborn diapers
That crying thing is dead on. Obviously the author is not talking about newborns, but for like 3-4 month olds. You need to let them cry it out when they finally get to their cribs or they refuse to sleep in it unless your there constantly. I know its hard hearing them cry for you but they dont learn otherwise. I took the advice from my own mother.