I was at Babies "R" Us yesterday buying a gift for a friend, and I found myself in line next to an obviously new mom. There was no baby in sight, but she reeked of baby powder and had the tell-tale unshowered and glazed look emanating from her. She was in her own little world, probably on her first outing without child, so I didn't bother her with any pearls of wisdom. But, damn, I was tempted. For her, and for all of those other first time moms, I offer some of the many mistakes I made ...
More from The Stir: Moments in Early Parenthood That Make You Realize: Holy Crap, I'm a MOM
1. Washing newborn clothes before the baby comes home. I know, I know, it's so tempting to rip all of the tags off and have everything waiting neatly in dresser drawers. But, the thing about washed and folded clothes? They can't be returned and you're shit out of luck when your baby breezes through newborn sized onsies in a week.
2. Not accepting offers of help. Because, seriously, the offers have a very short shelf life, and before long, you're on your own.
3. Stressing about the perfect nursery. The baby doesn't care. Your husband doesn't care. Your friends don't care. Your mother doesn't care.
4. Stockpiling diapers. Have an extra pack or so, but when a diaper gets too small, it's completely ineffective. Oh, and if you have a boy, make sure and point his penis down when you put the diaper on. It took weeks for me to figure out why Ben was leaking through every diaper as soon as he had it on.
5. Buying everything new. With Lily, I scoffed at consignment stores and hand-me-downs. My precious baby deserved the newest and the best. By the time Evan came around, I was happy taking something someone discarded on the side of the road for him. A run through the laundry machine or wipe down with Lysol and it's as good as new.
6. Not letting your baby cry. Ever. I have some of the worst sleepers in the world and I'm quite sure this was the reason.
7. Not showering. Yes, you're tired. Yes, it's hard to find time for yourself. Yes, I understand. But a shower a day will do a world of good for you. And the people around you.
8. Pretending you have it all under control. You don't. And it's OK.
Image via Scary Mommy
Ashley Is a Widow Who Stays Strong...
This Hot Dad Wants to Vacuum Your Rug
This Hot Dad Wants to Do Your Ironing
KStew Refuses to Shower
Comments 60
I agree with mama.leigh. A baby's cry is meant to be responded to, and the belief that doing so will cause them to be spoiled or to not sleep on their own is ludicrous. Instead parents should be encouraged to do research on the "4th" trimester and cry-it-out.
In addition my son was 7lbs 8 oz when he was born and he wore nb for a good 6 weeks too. If a friend hadn't given me her son's nb clothes that he grew out of, I would have had to go out and buy some. This time I have a lot of nb clothes just in case...but I bought most at goodwill/consignment stores so there won't be any returning anyway, lol.
I also agree with everything except the crying. Babies need to learn to trust that when they tell us something, we are listening & will do what we can to help. Not responding to the one way they have of communicating with us just teaches them that they can't trust us (and therefore, anyone else).
I don't like doing cry-it-out at any age - unless its something like them having a tantrum & they need to be left along to calm down.
I don't think she said to let the baby cry it out but rather that it's okay to let a baby cry. Sometimes babies cry and if you internalize it and make yourself responsible for the babies 24/7 happiness you will go crazy. Also, sometimes they only fuss for a few seconds. I know as a new mom I was obsessed with every sound DD#1 made. I didn't sleep, I just sat and waited for her to need something. With dd#2 if she was making noise or fussy I would give her a minute or two and she generally sorted herself out and went back to sleep.
This is a great list! I especially like the part about not fussing over the nursery. I hate it when parents spend tons of money to have the fanciest, most well-decorated nursery, with all of the best matching stuff. Babyhood, by its very nature, is short lived. Why not save that money for when the reall expensive stuff starts happening? Your baby definitely does not care where it sleeps!
I still don't totally agree with second hand clothes, they come with bugs sometimes and are not disinfected at all at the store. Just look st them real hard and make sure there is nothing crowling on those clothes. A lot of our nieghbors here at my complex have gotten bed bugs! ugh
You need to add, reading all this negative nonsense on the web. I read it now that my babies are now 7. I washed all my stuff and needed more, I never had too many diapers, for the most part I did have it under control. I was a first time mom with twins, I didn't want help, not with the babies, You want help a new mom, first stop with the advice, second cook and meal or help with laundry. Having people come over and hold the babies was not helpful, and I bet other new mommies might agree. BTW, I always showered.