For many moms (like me), the most crucial milestone in a baby's life is the day he or she can go in the gym daycare. I specifically switched gyms when my first baby was 3 months old to go to a much more expensive gym just so I could work out in peace. But most gym babysitters can't change diapers, and every once in a while, I would get that call while I was working out. "Your baby has a poop."
It didn't happen every day and I always responded immediately, but there was always a part of me, especially if it was toward the end of my workout, that wished I had the courage to say: "Just let her sit in it for a few more minutes."
It seems I am not alone. A post on CafeMom's community wall discusses this, and amazingly, there really ARE moms who have said this! Most in the discussion were appalled, but I say more power to those moms. We get one hour of peace a day, why shouldn't we want it all?
Now, keep in mind this is coming from a mom who never had the balls to do this myself. I always went down with a smile on my face and changed my kids within seconds of getting the call, but it was frustrating, especially when it came at the end of my allotted time and I only had a few more minutes in my workout. Usually I just had to end it then and there, which is a bummer for moms who are really into working out.
But it's more than that, too. Obviously, it depends on whether a person is called out at minute 50 or minute 2, but 10 minutes of diaper sitting isn't going to hurt a baby, and gym daycare workers can deal with the smell for a few more minutes.
Maybe the solution is to have better trained workers who would be able to change diapers. Personally, I would gladly pay more for babysitting and for the gym with the guarantee that I could work out uninterrupted. Maybe not all moms can do that, but I would have.
Part of the reason I was always so quick to respond was because of how it looked. I would never be able to make my child wait in front of others, but let's face it, at home, kids sometimes sit in dirty diapers. If you have more than one child and you are in the middle of making dinner and your older child has an issue, your child might wait 10 minutes to have his bum changed. Ten minutes doesn't cause a diaper rash or cause the child any pain. Obviously, we aren't condoning neglect or waiting for hours, but the difference between 5 and 15 minutes isn't going to kill anyone.
People need to ease up a bit on moms. To me this smacks of society's expectations. Moms should be MOMS all the time. They should never value their own needs above their child's even for a single minute and they should always jump when called. Otherwise they are a bad mom.
I say no. I say moms who put on their own life belt first are better moms. I say their kids turn out more independent and better adjusted. I never would have had the courage to say "let her sit in it," but I say more power to those moms who do. Those 10 minutes may mean more in terms of mom's sanity than anyone can possibly understand.
Do you think these moms who said "wait" are wrong?
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Comments 131
Of course we all need "me time" but the fact of the matter is, it doesn't matter what you're doing you're still a parent and you still have kids to take care of. I'm not letting my kid sit in a poopy diaper. I'd rather deal with the screaming and kicking and the possibility of getting poo fingers than deal with the diaper rash and my child being miserable.
You guys are being really harsh. If you change your childs's diaper as soon as they poop-while they are pooping, as you so claim, then you would be using 3 or 4 diapers by the time the deed was done (I KNOW because I did that for months with my first one {the second one was preemie, and the nurses only change diapers every 4 hours}). Mom's NEED some time to take care of themselves, so that they can spend the other 23 hours caring for their family. it is not selfish, and if you do not take the hour or so to ensure you get exercise, proper nutrition, the occasional nap, etc, you will be a fat slob in sweatpants and all sorts of health issues that make it more difficult to be a good mother. You need to take care of yourself, and moms can't be bashing each other and making them feel guilty for wanting to workout, shower, eat or poop. Seriously. Get over yourselves.
Say the situation were reversed. What if you were working out and the child care person didn't bother telling you that your baby has a poopy diaper that needed changed, and that worker left your baby sitting in its own poop for who knows how long? I imagine that you might feel a little differently, then.
motherhood is about sacrifices. I sacrificed my body to create this child and now that she is here, I must sacrifice my time to tend to her every need. I actually don't work out because I am EXHAUSTED and have a high needs baby. She always wants to be with me and I always am playing with her and entertaining her. I am putting my wants and needs on the back burner to take care of her, as a mother should. I eat healthy and try to get enough sleep but it doesn't always happen. My first and most important concern is not me but my daughter. I think it's selfish to make your child wait for their basic needs to be met.
It is not their job to change diapers and that is in their terms of use. In addition to that, it does say that they are going to come get you to change the diaper. If you don't like it, pay a real babysitter. You are not entitled to diaper changes just because you don't want to interrupt your workout, and you don't get to force these people to sit their and smell your child just because you want to checkout of mommyhood. Sorry. When you agree to their rules, this is what you agree to. You can't argue with it just because you don't feel like disregarding the rules. And whether or not it is bad for a child to sit in poop is not the point. If you agree to the rules by leaving your child, you don't get special treatment. You have to follow them.
Okay, let's take a look at this a minute. Your child sitting in his/her own feces for ten minutes or you being slightly inconvenienced. Yes, your are a mom ALL OF THE TIME. Shame on you for even considering that. Do you turn off your cell phone and not let your babysitter know where you went to dinner as well?????
I worked out at home and had to stop for a blow out, tantrum, when he ran over and stopped my dvd, etc. Those are gym daycare rules so you have to stop and change the diaper. I wouldn't like having to sit in my own feces why would I let my child sit in it. The reason why SO many people dont lose all of their baby weight is because they have to keep stopping. It's called life. You wanted a baby..so change their diaper. Maybe you will still be working on it a year post partum but you will get there at some point.