Here's the thing about being a new mom. You are going to make mistakes. But it's OK! That's what new motherhood is all about. You act like a harried, worried, over-protective goofball for awhile, and then you start figuring this whole parenting thing out.
What you don't realize is that everyone knows it! We're indulging you because we remember those days, but don't kid yourself, we know you're a rookie. So how do we know? If motherhood were a game of poker, these would be your tells:
Brand New Mom: Changes the diaper the exact SECOND there is the merest dribble of urine, because OMG, I don't want her to get a diaper rash!
Brand New Mom: Has drawers full of designer clothes because they are just. so. cute!
Brand New Mom: Stands over the bassinet, watching that baby breathe, just drinking him in.
Brand New Mom: Packs a diaper bag like she's preparing for the end of days.
Brand New Mom: Carries hand sanitizer everywhere and makes everyone use it before they can even come near the baby.
Brand New Mom: Owns and actually uses a wipes warmer.
Brand New Mom: Is horrified at ever having to leave her precious baby for even a moment.
Brand New Mom: Dresses baby in five layers of clothing so she won't get a chill ... in the summer.
Brand New Mom: Buys every adorable baby toy she can find.
Brand New Mom: Has purchased size 0 baby shoes to match every outfit.
Brand New Mom: Hand washes every bit of their clothing in special detergent and actually gets the stains out.
Brand New Mom: Figures a baby can't go through more than two diapers on one trip to the park.
Come on, add to the list, what are the signs that a woman is a brand new mom that you pick out?
Image via MissMessie/Flickr