I don't like regretting things. I tend to believe that I've made some mistakes in life and it taught me something so why live with regret, right? Of course, there are times when I have colossally messed up and I've said sorry and begged forgiveness -- of course that was all when I was much younger, and much more ... let's say ... not so smart. (Wink.)
But I do regret some of the mean-spirited and unsympathetic drivel I have spewed before I became a mom. I've scowled at babies, judged their parents, all for things I do and my kids do all the time. Because it's typical kid/parent behavior. For this, I just want to issue a huge, heartfelt apology, and will pray to the sleep gods that your kids will always allow you to have a great night's sleep with no night wakings. So ... (gulp) ... here they are. A list of things I am truly sorry for thinking before I had kids.
1. I have complained about the smell of a poopy diaper on a plane and I blamed the baby. Smart, right? Blame the baby for pooping. How pathetic is that? Most days, I'm happy when my kids poo, so in the moment of that parent's rejoice, I sh*t all over it with the fact that my poor nose had to smell something as benign as some kid excrement. I'm really sorry for being so unkind.
2. I'm also sorry that I once had evil thoughts about the kid on the plane who kicked my seat the entire time from San Francisco to NYC while I was trying to be calm and listen to Bjork. I should have been happy that kid wasn't screaming, like my kid did the first time we all flew on a plane. Now, any parent I see having a "hard time" with their little one on a plane or on any type of public transportation I have complete sympathy for and only send calming wishes so THEY are happy.
3. I used to complain about strollers taking up the sidewalk so other people can't just walk by without "pulling over." I have twins and push a double wide. Karma. I'm sorry for that.
4. I used to get annoyed when neighbors would leave their stroller in the hall in my apartment building. I'm really sorry. I now know how hard it is to bring a stroller up many flights of stairs into a cramped apartment that only gets smaller the more kids you have.
5. I used to get annoyed when babies would cry in the restaurant and wonder why they went out to eat in the first place. I'm sorry for that. Now I realize that parents deserve to eat out, too. Even with baby in tow. And that kids cry sometimes. And that's okay.
6. Many years ago, I thought it was odd to see a woman breastfeeding in public. I was so far away from even thinking about kids and I just didn't get it. I regret this, and I'm so happy I learned, even became a mom who breastfed whenever my kids were hungry wherever I was, and no longer make this judgement.
You live, you learn ... when you become a parent YOU REALLY LEARN. It feels so good to let it out and apologize ... and you know what ... when I get the glaring eyes when people judge me for doing any of the above things I totally get it and I don't get angry. I was there once too and I hope that one day they too get blessed with becoming a parent and repent.
Your turn! Fess up. What regrettable actions did you do before you became a parent? If nothing ... I bow to you.
Image via juhansonin/Flickr
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Comments 86
eh, i still get annoyed about strollers. really not that hard to carry your child.
I've been a Mom for almost 17 years and #2, #3 and #5 still annoy me.
I never liked other peoples kids from the time I was like 13. I STILL can't stand to be around most peoples kids. I know its not nessecarily the kids' fault that they're horrendous brats, but that doesn't mean I want to deal with it. I have 4 kids who are shopping/eating/traveling quietly 99%of the time, why can't other parents make their kids behave as well?
I understand a kid wailing a tad in a restaurant, but when you sit there for a whole freaking hour letting your kid scream at the top of their lungs it gets a bit ridiculous. Same goes for grocery stores. I do my shopping either at the crack of dawn or in the middle of the night and it annoys me to no end to see small children out at freakin 3 in the morning at Krogers or Walmart. No wonder the kid is cranky! He should be in bed!
Before I had kids I always wondered why young kids were at the store at 9 at night. Now my children never goes to bed before 10:30. It always take long walks to get them to go to sleep.
When you see that mom with way too much gear for a daythrip on the bus, She could be on her way to the airport, fir that obligatory week long trip to visit family out of state.
That mom out late at the store with the cranky toddler? Maybe the toddker has a fever, she has no babysitter, and she needs to pick up baby tylenol.
I know that when I saw a kid, older than my son throw a tantrum, I thought " Geez, my son doesn't throw tantrums anymore, what did those parents do wrong?" Later that day, my son threw a tantrum. Karma.