The other day I was putting a barrette in my daughter's hair when my son -- her twin 2 1/2-year-old brother -- handed me the pink one and said, "For me." I put it in his hair and he wore it most of the day, never fussing with it like his sister does who usually keeps it in for five minutes before ripping it off. Of course this made me think of the whole J.Crew pink toenails boy-gate last year and the questionable outrage over it. But then I remembered that we do live in a country where people of the same sex are banned from getting married in some states.
Then I heard about Sweden who recently came up with a new gender neutral word. The pronouns "he" and "she" (in Swedish "han" and "hon") are now known as "hen." Toy company Leklust is on-board with their latest catalog, too. The Swedes are considered a leader in gay rights and same sex marriages have been legal in the whole country since 2009.
Good for the Swedes! Why are the rest of us so uptight?
Perhaps some are freaking out that a little boy all dressed up as Spider-Man is pushing a babydoll carriage, but are we even certain that is a boy under there? Can't girls pretend to be Spidey? And why can't boys push pink strollers? Little girls can wear "masculine" colors and drive yellow and black go-carts, right?
So then why can't Jessica Simpson name her daughter Maxwell? Why is it such an issue that Rachel Uchitel chose Wyatt as a name for her little girl? Don't like the names? Don't name your kids that. It's that simple.
Don't we have more important things to worry about like the war on women that has been going on forever only being furthered by the divisive Time magazine "Are You Mom Enough" cover that purposefully choose an attractive young looking mother and posed her older looking 3-year-old son (having a boy, a son, in this shot was also very strategic) in such an unnatural way in order to get people really repulsed by attachment parenting or even just breastfeeding. No one breastfeeds their child like that, you know. There are no stools so a kid can stand and have a snack at mama's breast. There's cuddling involved, but a photo like that would have made the child seem a little too young for what Time was going for.
This all connects to the disrespect for moms, for women, for people, in our society. Yes, even in America. Our lack of decent maternity leave, the fact that we make less than men for the same job, all the mess I mentioned previously. Even just the simple fact that when someone says "she's just a mom," it has a very different meaning than when someone says "he's just a dad." Has anyone ever even said the latter? And not even moms are "just moms" -- we are women, we are human, we have rights that get ignored or twisted because we are the "fairer sex." Yes, even today. This lack of respect trickles down to our children.
Do we not even have enough respect for kids to let them play with what they want to play with -- pink, blue, green, purple, whatever color they want -- even if it's pastel? Should a boy be denied his desire to play with dolls? Snatch it out of his hand and give him a dinosaur instead? Should a girl be handed a princess wand when she really wants a dirt bike? These are simple things, but this is where it starts. This injustice. I think Sweden is on to something. They are terrifically innovative in most everything they do (yes, I'm an IKEA fan). We should let them inspire us to let go -- let people live how they want, like what they wish, love who they love. Even kids.
I have no problem letting my son wear a pink barrette. And no one else should either.
Do you think we need to take on a more "live and let live" attitude? What do you think of a more gender neutral world?
Image via Leklust
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Comments 109
We have a house full of kids 3 boys and 2 girls, and they all share the same playroom and we have never made an issue about our boys wanting to play house or with the barbie or if our girls want to play with the lego or the cars. If they have fun they should go for it, the same thing with our activities, I have one son that goes to dance with our daughters and one daughter that plays soccer on our sons team, and they all do gymnastics. Our kids watch both me and my husband cook and clean the house, and fold laundry, in our house everyone has to help out none of that woman clean while men relax. I want my children to be happy so short of there happiness coming from harming someone else, I say do it.
I really could care less if boys play with girl stuff or if girls play with boy stuff. I do have a problem with not wanting to acknowledge a boy as a boy and a girl as a girl. I think it crazy! To try and combine 2 sexes as only one sex is ridiculous. Biologically, we are different and no amount of p.c. bullshit will change that.
Could not agree more. I am so tired of this equality nonsense. We are different and that's what makes us unique- flaws and all. There is nothing wrong with allowing children to find themselves but to purposely balance everyone is going to backfire. I totally am with you on the argument that there is an overtly war on boys. Read Michael Gurian and you will see how in this fight for "equality" they are being screwed.
I agree with some of the above comments. There is a big difference between boys and girls liking the same activities and playing with each others toys (I would have no problem if my son wants to take dance lessons). The problem is "pretending" that there is no such thing as "boys" and "girls." In the case of the Swedish state run preschools using a new gender neutral pronoun for their students they are taking it too far. In previous articles I have read about that it said that they are no longer allowing "free-play" time during class because then, heaven forbid, a girl might pick up a doll and a boy might pick up a truck and they might fall into some sort of gender stereotype and all hell might break loose. In the attempt to keep children from falling into what some perceive to be gender stereotypes they are forcing children against to behave/like/ prefer what they think is appropriate which is even worse.
Love it, Michele! I recently bought a rattle for my nephew. It was multi-colored, green and blue polka dots, pink floral, etc. The clerk asked if I was buying for my own kids. I said no, it was for my nephew. She looked at me, looked at the rattle and said "it's kinda girlie." I shrugged and said, "He's 6 months months old - all he knows is that it's colorful and it makes noise. Who cares?!"
I agree with you. Who cares pink or blue, boy or girl. I bet Hunter looked super cute in his pink hair clip!
WOOHOO!!! Gender equality does not mean MAKING all boys and girls the same, it means GIVING them the same opportunities.
And the gender neutral pronoun is BRILLIANT, no matter what you think of gender equality! Even folks who still force their daughters to wear long skirts (no pants!), if they are intelligent, should be able to realize that this is a very good idea! That is, if they can stop politicizing it for a moment. Think about it: How often do you get tripped up by a sentence like "Each child needs to bring ___ lunch on the field trip." What do you say? The clunky "his or her?" The archaic and nowadays inaccurate "his"? The much easier but still technically grammatically-incorrect "their"? WHAT IF WE HAD A WORD FOR THIS - wouldn't that make everything so much easier??? *JEALOUS*!!!