New Moms Should Be Banned From Using Facebook

Anyone who has ever been on Facebook knows it can make you feel really badly about yourself. It seems like everyone is prettier, thinner, happier and more talented than you as they smile wide, their teeth gleaming and sparkling while they water ski or scuba dive or vacation in Turkey. It's enough to make anyone go underground. CNN confirms that Facebook does make insecurity worse and make girls feel badly about their looks.

Well, I say it is even WORSE for moms. What mom -- especially vulnerable new moms -- has not gone on Facebook and felt like the biggest loser mom of all time at least once?  There are photos of trips, educational opportunities and babies who learn to walk at 8 months. There are status updates about 3-year-old boys who can read and play the cello. And then, of course, there are the mommy wars.

As a new mom, being on Facebook meant being subjected to an onslaught of sanctimonious Facebook postings both from moms who work -- "I could never spend my days only with my children. Thank God I have a brain." -- and those who don't -- "I could not imagine ever leaving little Timmy to go to anything as meaningless as a JOB." You know the drill.

As the kids grow, it only gets worse. We are subjected to first dentist photos that make us say: "crap! I am a bad mom! My kid is almost 4 and has never been!" We get to see dispatches from the Museum of Science on Saturday morning while our kid is still in Cars PJ's, sucking his thumb.

Oops! Bad mommy!

As if that were not bad enough, there are the debates -- homemade baby food versus store bought, breast versus bottle, sling versus stroller -- the mommy "one ups" -- "Isn't that precious that little Lizzy is JUST learning how to do something my Tommy has been doing for a year." and the photos of mommies who are wearing bikinis while holding their 6-week-old and looking better than those who have never given birth.

It's a social minefield for moms. Damn Facebook. I can't quit you. I guess I have to keep letting you make me feel bad.

Does Facebook make you feel badly?



Image via MoneyBlogNewz/Flickr

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kebrowni kebrowni

Yep. But I also tend to "unsubscribe" from the people who make me feel that way so @ least none of their crap shows up on my wall.

Rhond... RhondaVeggie

Facebook has never made me feel bad about my parenting, mostly because I'm secure in my parenting choices. If I were insecure and constantly second guessing my choices I'd probably get upset too.

AliNo... AliNoelle

Nope. I must have a pretty great group of friends but I've gotten nothing but love and support for my parenting choices. There's no Mommy wars going on on my page!

nonmember avatar len

Thank goodness my parents taught me not to be jealous and live my life by my own standards. I can't imagine how miserable someone who looks at peoples vacation photos and somehow thinks it's about them is. If your ego is so fragile you need professional help. Quit worrying about other peoples lives, families, money and focus on your own existence.

Suzy Brewer

No, because I put my big girl panties on and know that even as a new mom, shes my baby and its really no one elses business how we raise her. If we talk about it, its how we do it and its not up for criticism and discussion and people need to get over it :)

Amy Beckler Cseh

ditto here.  Never been in a mommy war with my friends on Facebook. or anywhere else for that matter  They are considered friends for a reason.

ashjo85 ashjo85

That's true regardless of whether you're getting into mommy wars or not! All my friends were always super supportive, but in those weak moments where the baby will NOT stop crying or you feel completely fat and blobby, you'll stumble over a picture of a happy, smiling baby who you just know never cries, because his skinny, gorgeous mother is grinning in the photo to. It's easy to fill in the blanks with only those small snapshots of people's lives. I agree with you. Stay off social networking if you're a first time mom, lol.

craft... craftycatVT

"Does Facebook make you feel badly"? Is not proper use of the word "badly." That means that facebook makes it hard for you to feel things.

kintop kintop

I personally feel Cafemom is than facebook when it comes to making moms feel bad.  And as far as the debates how one should or should not parent is by far worse on Cafemom. 

BriLee BriLee

I've never had a problem with fb. I join groups that interest me and my friends are actual friends. I've been able to help hundreds on mommys on fb as well. It can be very helpful to contact someone when your doctor's office is closed or lactation consultant isn't answering her phone. Either you hear this is normal or you might want to do XYZ.

Now Cafemom, that is another story. While I'm confident in my parenting I can see this site being horrible for new moms. I never recommend this site to new moms.

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