I'm going to wager that everyone knows at least one woman who got pregnant thinking a baby would change their man. You know what I'm talking about. The baby would come, and he would stop going out with the guys every night and stay home to sing lullabies and change diapers and everything would go back to the days when you were dating and he made you feel like your bad breath smelled like a rainbow and your tears were ... wait a minute, what tears?
Only it never happens, does it? Usually it turns out more like the case of the dad who was arrested in Arizona the other day for allegedly urinating on his 4-month-old baby's face. Anyone surprised Sergio Velderrain's wife is already talking about filing for divorce?
Hold up now. I'm not blaming Jennifer Velderrain here. She called 911, she had her husband arrested, she did everything she was supposed to do. In fact, she sounds like a mom who cares about her son.
But let's just be real here for a second. Someone had to see this guy was not father material somewhere along the line, m'kay? A super duper, born-to-be-a-dad kind of guy does not wake up one morning and think, "Today is the day I turn into the kind of creep who pees on my precious little snookums for fun." I'm betting he's always been a jerk, and now he's a jerk and a dad. Because people just don't do something this vile to a baby!
Of course, Sergio is saying he was drunk and it was an accident. Jennifer is saying they got in a fight, and he did it to be mean. She added a particularly chilling twist when she told the news he said that this was something the little boy would have to "remember his dad by."
I don't know which one to believe, but it's bad enough she's filing for divorce here. DIVORCE. That doesn't happen over an accident. And you don't just flip a switch one day and accidentally pee on your kid, no matter how drunk you get.
Good dads don't take a wizz on their baby. Wait, scratch that. Good people do not pee on anyone's baby. Not drunk. Not in a trunk. Not with a fox. Not in a box.
Are you buying the "accident" story here? Do you think you can tell if someone will be father material (or mother material) before the baby is born?
Image via Dennis/Flickr