The child support system in the United States is a mess. Too many states follow formulas that don't serve the needs of individual families and leave many non-custodial parents feeling stripped of their rights while many custodial parents feel they are forced to wait and wait through bureaucratic processes before receiving their money. There are some single parents who are happy with the way child support works, but they are hard to come by.
Chukwudera B. Okoli is a man in Massachusetts (I hesitate to even call him a "father") who has every right to hate the system right now. Currently, he's being forced to pay child support to the children born via IVF to Blessing Okoli, his former wife.
The story is so unfair, it will make you want to scream. But the issues it raises are even more troubling. Are sperm donors fathers now?
Even in the case of an anonymous sperm donor, the child support may be in the best interest of the children. After all, children need the support of two parents. But morally it's wrong. Isn't a man a person, too? Don't they have rights? What kind of mother purposely creates and gives birth to a child (or children) she can't afford and then changes her mind about an agreement?
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Comments 59
Except he is a father, because she didn't trick him, he consented. She obtained his permission and he consented after their seperation, so that makes him the father. She didn't "steal his sperm" or trick him.
"The court said Tuesday that because the husband, Chukwudera B. Okoli, had originally consented to the artificial insemination procedure, he is now responsible for the payments as the twins' legal and biological parent, according to court documents"
Ok think about what she said "a sperm donor -- is not a father and no amount of child support can make him one". Biology doesn't make a person a father. That is done through late nights and changing diapers and school plays and cuddles. So with that way of thinking of a guy gets a girl prenant and runs he can't be held financially responsible because he didn't change any diapers. Just when you think the stories can't get any more stupid they do!!! That's why you should think twice before making a baby. If you donate the sperm it IS your baby just as much as you furnish the egg. I think people need to take biology again. If you don't want to take care of your offspring then don't have any!
Susan what a sad thing to have happen. I know of a case where a man found out years later that the kids weren't his and he had to pay child support any way and he still didn't get to see the kids. Seems to me women want it both ways. They say it's my body and my decision but if the man wants the baby he has no say but if the Mom decides to keep it he can't say well I didn't want it so you pay for it. Once again the breakdown of the family.
hmmm..........
I don't have enough info to comment on the guy in question. A lot of it depends on the divorce decree..so I am going to hope the state ruled correctly.
I do not think anonymous sperm donors..those going to a clinic or donors like a family member..other than a spouse..should have to pay. If they are going to start this junk men will stop donating and that will hurt a lot of potential families.
I agree..people shouldn't be having babies they cannot afford.
Not enough details, however, if she used his donated sperm, no way is he resposible for the resulting offspring. That was never part of the contractual agreement from jump street. If that be the case, I suspect financially desperate women will start getting voluntarily impregnated by complete strangers for the benefit of gain at the sake of the child. Oh wait...well, anyway, no. He should have have to pay.