The child support system in the United States is a mess. Too many states follow formulas that don't serve the needs of individual families and leave many non-custodial parents feeling stripped of their rights while many custodial parents feel they are forced to wait and wait through bureaucratic processes before receiving their money. There are some single parents who are happy with the way child support works, but they are hard to come by.
Chukwudera B. Okoli is a man in Massachusetts (I hesitate to even call him a "father") who has every right to hate the system right now. Currently, he's being forced to pay child support to the children born via IVF to Blessing Okoli, his former wife.
The story is so unfair, it will make you want to scream. But the issues it raises are even more troubling. Are sperm donors fathers now?
Even in the case of an anonymous sperm donor, the child support may be in the best interest of the children. After all, children need the support of two parents. But morally it's wrong. Isn't a man a person, too? Don't they have rights? What kind of mother purposely creates and gives birth to a child (or children) she can't afford and then changes her mind about an agreement?
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Comments 59
I know that this woman wasn't a stranger, but he volunteered to father a child for her.
Its more of a decision than a 1 night stand ending in pregnancy, because in this case you know ahead of time, a pregnancy is likely, and its intentional.
If sperm donors shouldn't pay child support, why should a 1 night stand?
This is placing blame on women, kind of like saying keep your legs closed if you don't want a kid.
2 people, made a conscious effort to become parents. They are both financially responsible for the resulting child.
That's a tough one!!! In one way I don't think he should because if she did it a year after they were divorced that she shouldn't have even been able to use his sperm to begin with but then they are his kids and he should be made to pay child support. I feel sorry for him.
I agree with the lady above me.
This situation is rather different. She KNEW the sperm donor. I agree with BriLee. Once they divorced, she should have lost rights to those sperm just because of situations like this.
I do not think we should totally get rid of sperm donors, as there are many families that utilze this option to expand thier family. Infertiltiy is rough as it is, only to have options taken away because of a "select few" seems hardly unfair to them.
Perhaps we need to lay down more rules regarding donor sperm and what is allowed as far as the offspring are concerned.
If you're making a child, man or woman, you're responsible for the fact that the child exists. Unless you're donating to a married, infertile couple *or domestic partners*, then you should be responsible.
Without the donor, the child wouldn't exist. Why shouldn't the donor be responsible for its existance?
If you read the article, donor eggs were also used. Those donor eggs were not available until a year after they separated and he consented to his sperm being used at that time. Obviously, he may have thought he was just being a nice guy and didn't think through the possible legal ramifications, but lack of knowledge of a law doesn't mean you don't have to comply with it.
In my state, if a woman is pregnant at the time a divorce is finally completed, the husband is presumed to be the father. Even if they've been separated for more than 9 months while going through the divorce process. Even if she was cheating on him throughout the marriage. There are procedures that can be followed to rebut that presumption, but until that happens, he is legally the father and responsible for child support.