The story of twins Gabriel and Tryce Medrano is more heartbreaking than any mother can imagine. Last November, the 3-week-old twins went to bed with their mother, Kiarra Kimbel, but sadly, they never woke. The coroner recently ruled the cause of death was accidental suffocation.
I simply can't fathom how that mother felt waking to find her babies beside her not breathing just three weeks after she brought them into this world. A few days before their death, Kimbel posted on Facebook: "Wow, it is amazing to have two babies. Hard work and lost sleep but way worth it. I love them so much."
And now they're gone, in a tragic accident that very well could have been prevented if she hadn't chosen to embrace the practice of co-sleeping.
And while I know this is going to raise the defenses of those who embrace and promote the practice, this case highlights everything that terrifies me about co-sleeping and why experts warn against it. As Bannock County Coroner Kim Quick told the Idaho State Journal, “I would like to caution those that sleep with their infants, that this is an unsafe practice.” The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends room-sharing without bed-sharing.
I'm typically a believer in families doing whatever works best for them and their children, but when it comes to co-sleeping, it just seems too precarious to attempt with infants. Proponents say it's safe if you take precautions, that there are plenty of benefits to doing so for both mother and baby. But is it worth the risk?
For me, it never was. I would never have been able to sleep well because I was so concerned about the dangers. For friends of mine, it has worked beautifully, and they wouldn't have it any other way. But as with things like crib bumpers, for me it comes down to this: If you don't have to take the risk, why would you? And for every mom who follows every safety rule, there are surely plenty who do not, or those who usually do.
For Kimbel, it's too late to ask questions or go back and do things differently. She doesn't deserve any judgement for what happened, as it seems she was just a mom trying to do what was best for her family -- like all of us. But all of us can learn from this tragedy, really consider the real dangers that co-sleeping presents, and put an end to this practice.
Does this story change your mind about co-sleeping? If you co-sleep, why do you think it's worth the risks?
Image via sabianmaggy/Flickr
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Comments 387
Secondly, there are zero details about the circumstances. No, one woman who tragically killed her sons does not change my stance on co-sleeping, something that does work for millions of families.
breastfeed babies RARELY die is safe co-sleeping situations. Would love to know the details on this case. I co-sleep w/ my 3 older children when they were little and I will co-sleep with the new baby due in April.
I dont understand how anyone could *safely* co-sleep, following ALL the safety recommendations. Have a tight fitting sheet, ok easy enough. Only mattress on the floor away from all walls. oookkk, maybe. NO Pillows OR Blankets on the bed whatsoever... um no. Dont know about anyone else, but I could NOT sleep without a blanket or a pillow. period, so I do not plan on using this technique. I plan to room share but not co-sleep with this baby in may, just as I did with my older daughter, then move to his crib around 3months.
*eyeroll* Did you know sometimes babies die in cribs? Are you going to put an end to crib sleeping? Sorry to disappoint you, but this does not change my mind about co-sleeping, nor does any of the other "cosleeping is bad!!!" articles that get written on here. I will co-sleep safely and correctly with my children if I want to. Don't turn this family's tragedy into another pointless mommy war.
So very sorry to that mother for her loss though. How awful. I'll be keeping her and her family and those precious babies in my thoughts. :(
I have never been a fan of co-sleeping arrangements, so this story doesn't change my opinion. Neither of my kids were sleeing through the night until almost 6 months, and I still put them in their cribs - I would rather be exhausted and have them safe than well-rested and worried they would be accidentally injured in my bed. I know it works for many families, but I honestly feel like many of them are just flat-out lucky their child doesn't die - there are so many rules and safety precautions to take when there's an infant in the bed, and I just don't believe that many people are co-sleeping 'according to the rules'.
One of my good friends co-sleeps with her infant lying on top of her, belly to belly - this is her 4th child, and how she's always done it - but to me that just seems like she's begging for accidental suffocation, even though she'll tell you she's following all the 'guidelines'.
isn't it interesting how AP type parenting articles don't condemn all together mainstream parenting choices and practices but mainstream articles have no problem bashing away?