The 20s Are the Best Time to Become a Mom

A recent poll on LilSugar asked a number of women what decade is best for becoming a mom between our 20s, 30s, and 40s. Truly, it's an impossible question to answer given the variables for each individual woman. But the overwhelming majority (61 percent) said the "right age" is your 30s.

It makes a lot of sense, right? You are old enough to have established a career, fallen in love, and had your time alone together. But you are still young enough to have healthy pregnancies, bounce back quickly, and keep up with your little ones. But if there is one thing motherhood has proven to me, it's the fact that there is no one "right" answer to any question. It's all so individual.

For me, personally, I became pregnant with my daughter (my first) at 28 and with my son at 30. I sometimes wish we had done it a little earlier.

The late 20s was a great time health-wise. I became pregnant easily both times and had zero problems with any of my labor or deliveries. My babies were perfectly healthy. But career and money wise, it was actually a hard time to have a baby.

Both my husband and I had really just started our careers after years of college and graduate school. My husband was still in his PhD program and I was just figuring out what direction my career was going. Though I got back on track, it was a hard time to have a baby. Sometimes I think if we had started a little earlier, say 26, I might have been able to get on track faster and I might have lost less ground. While my friends were being promoted, I was changing diapers. Now, I feel just a touch behind even though I am thrilled to have already had my kids.

Meanwhile, the 40s are another problem. Forget the fertility and all those other issues that basically make or break this decision. Even if a woman can get pregnant safely and easily without medical intervention, there are more dangers to the baby, and also, it's just a harder time of life.

As a new mom, I knew many women who were 41 or so and had babies the same age as mine. When I am their age, I am assuming my 13-year-old will be much easier to care for and will be less physically demanding than a baby. 

Of course, what the study ignores is the fact that, for most women, when they have babies isn't entirely up to them. Some people don't meet a partner until they are 30 or 35 and then they are in a category they may not have seen as "ideal" when they were 20 and naive. Other women struggle with infertility even if they start trying very young and they end up not conceiving until their 30s.

There is no one RIGHT answer as to when a baby makes sense. But there is the right answer for every individual and for me, that answer is 26. It isn't too old and not too young. Perfect.

What is your perfect age to have a baby?

 

Image via Will Clayton/Flickr 

time for mom

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nonmember avatar Gayle

Had my first at 38, my second at 45. They are 13 and 5 now, I had a rewarding nursing career and helped my husband get through medical school. I've been a stay at home mom for 5+ years and couldn't be happier. I love the hectic life I have with my husband, two kids, my dog and two cats.

hutch... hutchfam2007

No right or wrong age, IMO. Had my first at right after my 23rd b-day and due with my second at 26. Then we are done! We both always wanted two kids and are lucky enough to be having one of each ;) couldnt have asked for anything better. I still feel like there are days I WISH I could just be selfish and do whatever I want but I think that would have come up at any age (sometimes you just want to pee/ eat/ sleep/ shop in PEACE!!!!)

momof... momof3_2011

Had my first at 21, Second at 23 and the third at 25 so I would say my 20's

wiles... wilesmomma

I had my children at a very young age. It is a struggle right now financially, but I wouldn't change it for the world. We hope to have more someday. It will be a long while before that happens though.

Melan... Melanie420

I was 20 when I got pregnant with my son, I turned 21 before I had him, I never wanted to be old when I had kids, also I had preclampsia when I was pregnant, thankfully I got it around the end of my pregnancy like my mom did when she was pregnant with my little sister and my blood pressure got really high and I stopped dialating from the muscle relaxer they gave me so I had a c-section, I think the pain from the cut would have been alot worse if i was older, I want to be done around my late 20s and im not having another one until my son is 4

leomo... leomommy1325

I had mine at 25.  I thought I'd have an awesome career and husband and everything would be just perfect.  Well, fast forward almost 7 years.  I'm a divorcee of 4.5 years (5 on February 21) and as far as an awesome career, I'd be lucky if ANYONE would hire me since from 2004 - 2009 I didn't work.  Most places around here want to know what you did for the last 10 years as far as work goes and require a bachelor's degree.  Well, I don't have one.  We're doing Okay, but it would help if my loser ex-husband actually CARED about our daughter enough to financially support her.

nonmember avatar Amie Harris

I met my husband at 15, we were married in a big Catholic ceremony at 18 ( he was 20 ). I was 20 when we had our twin girls, 21 when we had our son and 24 when we had our daughter. I was always told I wouldnt be able to have children due to all the female issues I gave had ( which started at 12 btw ). So I look at each of our children everyday in amazement at the true blessings they all are. I get to enjoy them everyday and am blessed to be a stay at home mom!! Im sure we won't have anymore but who knows :) No one can determine when you are ready for children but you. So whenever the good Lord blesses you with your little bundle of joy just smile and embrace it. It's a roller coaster ride of emotions and well worth it!!!!!

joaniest joaniest

Meanwhile, the 40s are another problem........, and also, it's just a harder time of life.


How old are you?  Why are you claiming that your 40s are a "harder time of life"?  


I had my beautiful healthy son naturally at age 46.  Wouldn't change a thing and I'm loving every minute of raising him.  He has a big extended family and guardians who will care for him if something happens to me or my husband.  Don't judge until you've walked in someone's shoes.



nonmember avatar Serena

Just like previous poster Amanda, I turned 22 soon after getting pregnant. It was the perfect time for us, we had been married for 2 years, just bought a house, and my husbands career was perfect. Now our son is 16 mo and I'll be done with school in a year and we're thinking of having a second one just after I graduate and then i'll start my career. Perfect :)

BlueLu BlueLu

I got pregnant @ 24 and turned 25 3 months before giving birth. Perfect timing!

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