The 20s Are the Best Time to Become a Mom

A recent poll on LilSugar asked a number of women what decade is best for becoming a mom between our 20s, 30s, and 40s. Truly, it's an impossible question to answer given the variables for each individual woman. But the overwhelming majority (61 percent) said the "right age" is your 30s.

It makes a lot of sense, right? You are old enough to have established a career, fallen in love, and had your time alone together. But you are still young enough to have healthy pregnancies, bounce back quickly, and keep up with your little ones. But if there is one thing motherhood has proven to me, it's the fact that there is no one "right" answer to any question. It's all so individual.

For me, personally, I became pregnant with my daughter (my first) at 28 and with my son at 30. I sometimes wish we had done it a little earlier.

The late 20s was a great time health-wise. I became pregnant easily both times and had zero problems with any of my labor or deliveries. My babies were perfectly healthy. But career and money wise, it was actually a hard time to have a baby.

Both my husband and I had really just started our careers after years of college and graduate school. My husband was still in his PhD program and I was just figuring out what direction my career was going. Though I got back on track, it was a hard time to have a baby. Sometimes I think if we had started a little earlier, say 26, I might have been able to get on track faster and I might have lost less ground. While my friends were being promoted, I was changing diapers. Now, I feel just a touch behind even though I am thrilled to have already had my kids.

Meanwhile, the 40s are another problem. Forget the fertility and all those other issues that basically make or break this decision. Even if a woman can get pregnant safely and easily without medical intervention, there are more dangers to the baby, and also, it's just a harder time of life.

As a new mom, I knew many women who were 41 or so and had babies the same age as mine. When I am their age, I am assuming my 13-year-old will be much easier to care for and will be less physically demanding than a baby. 

Of course, what the study ignores is the fact that, for most women, when they have babies isn't entirely up to them. Some people don't meet a partner until they are 30 or 35 and then they are in a category they may not have seen as "ideal" when they were 20 and naive. Other women struggle with infertility even if they start trying very young and they end up not conceiving until their 30s.

There is no one RIGHT answer as to when a baby makes sense. But there is the right answer for every individual and for me, that answer is 26. It isn't too old and not too young. Perfect.

What is your perfect age to have a baby?

 

Image via Will Clayton/Flickr 

time for mom

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nonmember avatar Raskia

The right time I think is in your thirties. You are more establish and you don't really have to struggle with money. I live in a town where twelve, thirteen year olds get pregnant now these days and its sad.

nonmember avatar kaitlyn

had my 1st at 20. It was perfect to me. I figured children are God's greatest gift, why on earth would I put them off for a career? A career can never be even close to as fulfilling as being a mother.

nonmember avatar SarahB

I had my first at 22. I'm 24 now and trying for a second. My mom had me, her first at 22 and now she is still young enough to really enjoy being a grandma! She was able to establish a career after my younger brothers and I were all in school which is what I plan to do. I'm taking my time and going to school part time. I feel the age I am now is perfect for having kids because I'm young enough to really enjoy all that having kids entails but I still have plenty of time to do what I want career wise later. Plus I'll hopefully get to be a hot younger grandma later ;-)

nonmember avatar Crystal

I had my first when I was 18 and my second when I was 19 I am 24 now and just had my third baby I feel like this was a perfect age for me because I always wanted kids and did not want to be an "OLD" mom I would not change it for the world :)

nonmember avatar Robin

I was 19 with my first, my hubby was 24 & deployed overseas. I had my 2nd on my 24th birthday, my hubby was 29 & thankfully out of the military. The right age is whenever you're ready and able. And I was ready and able at 19 & 24... plus I wanted to have 2 kids, one of each before I turn 30. I met my goal. :)

nonmember avatar dana

I was 23 with my first son and I just turned 25 yesterday and am expecting a little one come this August! Ideal for me is to be done before 30. I was married, had a house, and my RN license by 22 so I felt established enough to start early. Wouldn't change a thing :)

nonmember avatar Valerie

I had my first baby at 18. I feel like that was fine for me but any earlier would have been tough. I graduated high school less than a month after I found out that I was pregnant, so that was done. Now I am going to college full-time and able to schedule my classes around my life at home with my son. Some people say I'm doing everything backwards, but its worked out well for me. I'm ready to have another child whenever I get blessed with another pregnancy, and I'm 21 now. I am another person who always wanted to be done by 25, but I will not go past 30. I feel like having my children younger will not only allow me to keep up with them but also with my grandkids :)

chloedog chloedog

I had my first at 25, second at 32, and my third at 37.  I have 3 happy, healthy boys no matter what age I had them.  I was able to get back into shape after all of them and am very active still with my one year old.  As far as I am concerned, there is no wrong or right age!

nonmember avatar Melissa

I had my first at 20, 2nd at 23, 3rd at 27, 4th at 31, now 5th and final will be born when im 34. I can honestly say, Im more settled in who I am, my beliefs ect in my 30's. I tell women wait til your at least 25. You have lived more time learning about yourself. I love all my kids. But def wish I had waited.

nonmember avatar Michelle

I don't think that's a question that anyone can answer for you. That is a personal preference kind of deal. We are all different. We have different wants and desires. For one person a career is more important. For another starting a family is. What matters is what YOU and your husband thinks is best. Not an age. I had my first at 21, my second at 23 and my third at 26. A lot of people think that's too young and that's fine. I personally love it and wouldn't have it any other way. I question if I would have the energy needed now, at 31, to keep up with a newborn and toddler. It's a personal preference! Rock on to all us women for being able to do it at any age cause it's hard work! :)

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