The 20s Are the Best Time to Become a Mom

A recent poll on LilSugar asked a number of women what decade is best for becoming a mom between our 20s, 30s, and 40s. Truly, it's an impossible question to answer given the variables for each individual woman. But the overwhelming majority (61 percent) said the "right age" is your 30s.

It makes a lot of sense, right? You are old enough to have established a career, fallen in love, and had your time alone together. But you are still young enough to have healthy pregnancies, bounce back quickly, and keep up with your little ones. But if there is one thing motherhood has proven to me, it's the fact that there is no one "right" answer to any question. It's all so individual.

For me, personally, I became pregnant with my daughter (my first) at 28 and with my son at 30. I sometimes wish we had done it a little earlier.

The late 20s was a great time health-wise. I became pregnant easily both times and had zero problems with any of my labor or deliveries. My babies were perfectly healthy. But career and money wise, it was actually a hard time to have a baby.

Both my husband and I had really just started our careers after years of college and graduate school. My husband was still in his PhD program and I was just figuring out what direction my career was going. Though I got back on track, it was a hard time to have a baby. Sometimes I think if we had started a little earlier, say 26, I might have been able to get on track faster and I might have lost less ground. While my friends were being promoted, I was changing diapers. Now, I feel just a touch behind even though I am thrilled to have already had my kids.

Meanwhile, the 40s are another problem. Forget the fertility and all those other issues that basically make or break this decision. Even if a woman can get pregnant safely and easily without medical intervention, there are more dangers to the baby, and also, it's just a harder time of life.

As a new mom, I knew many women who were 41 or so and had babies the same age as mine. When I am their age, I am assuming my 13-year-old will be much easier to care for and will be less physically demanding than a baby. 

Of course, what the study ignores is the fact that, for most women, when they have babies isn't entirely up to them. Some people don't meet a partner until they are 30 or 35 and then they are in a category they may not have seen as "ideal" when they were 20 and naive. Other women struggle with infertility even if they start trying very young and they end up not conceiving until their 30s.

There is no one RIGHT answer as to when a baby makes sense. But there is the right answer for every individual and for me, that answer is 26. It isn't too old and not too young. Perfect.

What is your perfect age to have a baby?

 

Image via Will Clayton/Flickr 

time for mom

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Rhond... RhondaVeggie

Definitely in my twenties. I always wanted to be done by 25 so the kids would be in school and I could go out to work at age thirty. My ovaries had other ideas but I would still never consider a pregnancy after thirty five. That's just too old.

amand... amanda_mom89

I feel like I got pregnant at the perfect age for me. I got pregnant at 21 and turned 22 just a few months into my pregnancy.



I had people tell me I was really young to become a mom which I thought was odd because like the previous poster I had always planned to be done by 25. I wouldn't even consider having kids after 28.



Like you said, it's different for every woman but for DH and I it was the right time now. Our daughter is almost 8 months old and we love our little family. (He has a 2 1/2 year old daughter from a previous relationship)

nonmember avatar Ashley

First dd at 22, second at 26, and third (after 5 years secondary infertility treatment and one year giving up) at 35. Hands down 20's. My first was best. Very different pressures with age and maturity. My first pregnancy and childbirth were easiest. There was a HUGE difference in my mid-thirties!

Stacey. Stacey.

I'm the same situation as Amanda. I was 22 when my baby was born and I wouldn't have it any other way. There's a reason God blesses us with fertility at a young age and has it slowly diminish as we get older.

D-Shi-85 D-Shi-85

I had mine at 26, and yes, it's perfect. i had 3 years to get a career rolling, but not far enough along (read: I'm not important enough) that my absence made a huge difference.

Mckel Mckel

I had my kids at 36 and 37 and it was exactly the right time for me. My husband and I were together since our late 20's. We both spent our early 30's establishing ourselves and our careers so that our time was our own when we were ready to have kids. As a result, I was able to choose to stay home yet I can return to a good solid job with strong career history behind me when both my kids go to school full time. We have no debt, own our home and saved for our kids education for years. Also, I have more energy now than in my twenties because I take better care of myself. I am healthier and more active than just about everyone else I know. No one ever believes how old I really am.

Kritika Kritika

We have been trying for 3 cycles and no baby yet. I am 26 and my husband is 41. My sister is 34 and got pregnant the first try so I wonder if age before 40 has anything to do with a womans fertility.

ashjo85 ashjo85

Had my first at 24, the second will be born at 27 (haven't had my birthday yet :-P) I'm high risk anyway, so I never would consider having more kids after 30. The risks just get more and more the older you get, and health was my most important consideration. My "career"—just a job to me. My goals lie more in th personal arena. So it's perfect for us!

stace... stacey541

I had my first at 25 and second at 26-I'm alomost 28 now and would like 1 more but if we aren't in the position to do it by 30 then we are done.  It may have been financially easier if we had waited a tad bit longer, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I am at the point now that I am have a great job and we are finally getting established, so I think the next baby will be a little less straining on the bank account than the first two. I don't feel there is a univeral right age for everyone-it fully depends on whats going on in your life at that time. My parents were in there late 30's/early 40's when they had us and that worked out wonderfully for them.

nonmember avatar zizzler

we want tons of kids so we had to start early! Besides, the mountain town where I grew up it's standard to have a kid at 18/19 (and married). I'm 26 and people tell me all the time how "old" I am to have only one permanent kid! (plus 8 foster kids). Not a single city-dwelling friend has had a kid yet, lol! They all think I'm 'so young' rofl. Perspective...

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