I woke up this morning and could have sworn it was 2012. Yet, after reading this guy's fearful article about his wife leaving town for a few days (with one of the children even), I'm thinking some people might still be blissfully unaware of this new thing called "equality." A fresh reminder that not everyone believes men and women are both capable of taking care of the children hit me again as I dropped off my kids at school. For some reason it's surprising when people see my husband -- the father of our children -- dropping off the kids on occasion. You know, because he's a man and must have much more important things to do than I.
I don't get it. If a child has both parents at home, doesn't that imply that both parents are able to take care of his or her needs on a daily basis? Was there a special "mom" ceremony that I missed where we were given all of the power and responsibility over decision-making, butt-wiping, and the transportation of our children?
Seriously moms and dads, buck up. It doesn't take a uterus to be able to help someone with their kindergarten homework. If you have eyes, you can see where the closet is, and figure out how to dress a pint-sized person. There are thousands of male chefs, which proves that you don't need breasts to be able to feed your family. And ladies, if you're leaving detailed "to do" lists when you go out of town surrounding the care and feeding of your children, you're not helping.
Having faith that your husband can actually father his own children will go a long way. If said husband calls you because your baby is crying and he can't get her to stop -- hang up on him. It's the only way he'll learn not to depend on you for every single kid-related task. (Side note: If your husband calls you to commiserate about the non-stop crying baby, have sympathy. There's a difference between bonding over misery, and expecting "mommy" to come home and fix everything.)
I know I'm "lucky" to have an involved dad and husband. But really, he's the lucky one. He gets to be fully involved in his children's lives, and has a very happy wife at home as part of a team. There's a heck of a lot of satisfaction in both of our lives, knowing we're in this together. And also knowing that that we're both capable of taking the car in to get fixed, soothing a fussy baby, and packing lunches for pre-school. Maybe the father of your child would benefit from being involved as well. Why not let him try out real fatherhood for a change, instead of the passive, helpless stereotype that is so totally over?
Do your kids benefit from having an involved dad?
Image via EmerandSam/Flickr
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Comments 42
That guy is so damned annoying, I mean come on, kindergarten homework help? What do I do if the kids are sick? I hate that crap, grow some balls and take care of your kids, geez. And he can only cook 4 things, bullshit, figure it out.
My husband is a pretty good dad. If I'm going to be gone my instructions usually go as far as "There's such-and-such in the refrigerator for lunch, have fun!" and that's about it. Being the stay at home parent, there are a lot of little routine intricacies I'm more familiar with than he is, but A) it's my job to let him know what those are and B) it's his job to trust me on those things and remember them.
yes it may only take a second for them to choke, but hubby knows cpr i trust him completely with my 2 yr old he may not be comfortable potty training, but he makes sure shes fed, clothed, took care of without me
My biggest pet peeve is when dads say they are "babysitting" their kids. You're not babysitting, you're parenting. You don't get sympathy or a medal for it, you just get to do it because that's what you signed up for.
I have to correct my father-in-law on that one a lot. Luckily, my husband didn't inherit that particular idiotic trait.
Oh, hell, I just read the column. What an idiot. Suck it up, whiney. It's not rocket science, it's parenting. You'll figure it out.
His wife has coddled him to the point of uselessness.