I woke up this morning and could have sworn it was 2012. Yet, after reading this guy's fearful article about his wife leaving town for a few days (with one of the children even), I'm thinking some people might still be blissfully unaware of this new thing called "equality." A fresh reminder that not everyone believes men and women are both capable of taking care of the children hit me again as I dropped off my kids at school. For some reason it's surprising when people see my husband -- the father of our children -- dropping off the kids on occasion. You know, because he's a man and must have much more important things to do than I.
I don't get it. If a child has both parents at home, doesn't that imply that both parents are able to take care of his or her needs on a daily basis? Was there a special "mom" ceremony that I missed where we were given all of the power and responsibility over decision-making, butt-wiping, and the transportation of our children?
Seriously moms and dads, buck up. It doesn't take a uterus to be able to help someone with their kindergarten homework. If you have eyes, you can see where the closet is, and figure out how to dress a pint-sized person. There are thousands of male chefs, which proves that you don't need breasts to be able to feed your family. And ladies, if you're leaving detailed "to do" lists when you go out of town surrounding the care and feeding of your children, you're not helping.
Having faith that your husband can actually father his own children will go a long way. If said husband calls you because your baby is crying and he can't get her to stop -- hang up on him. It's the only way he'll learn not to depend on you for every single kid-related task. (Side note: If your husband calls you to commiserate about the non-stop crying baby, have sympathy. There's a difference between bonding over misery, and expecting "mommy" to come home and fix everything.)
I know I'm "lucky" to have an involved dad and husband. But really, he's the lucky one. He gets to be fully involved in his children's lives, and has a very happy wife at home as part of a team. There's a heck of a lot of satisfaction in both of our lives, knowing we're in this together. And also knowing that that we're both capable of taking the car in to get fixed, soothing a fussy baby, and packing lunches for pre-school. Maybe the father of your child would benefit from being involved as well. Why not let him try out real fatherhood for a change, instead of the passive, helpless stereotype that is so totally over?
Do your kids benefit from having an involved dad?
Image via EmerandSam/Flickr