It's hard being a new mom (or even an experienced mom to a new baby) and sometimes we do things we know we shouldn't, despite what all the experts say. But this is a safe place to share your secrets (PM me)—we'll never tell.
This Week's Secret:
My son is 6 months old and started sleeping from 8:30 to 6:30 a few weeks ago. Even before that, he was a pretty good sleeper, so we rarely had to get up for long with him. Still, we did get up and I got used to it. But now I am still getting no sleep. I think about him constantly and I set my alarm to wake me up just so I can check his breathing. I realize this is crazy and I should appreciate my son's sleeping, but I am totally neurotic about it. My husband thinks I am nuts. Some nights I am even up every hour just to make sure he is OK. Is this going to ever stop? -- Anonymous
A couple weeks could be normal. You could just be adjusting to the change of your son sleeping so long. But a couple months could be some kind of OCD situation.
All moms have the instinct to watch their baby's chest rise and fall. It's one of the best parts of new motherhood. But 10 times a night is extreme and disruptive. I wouldn't let this go on too long before you get help.
Do you have any advice for this mom?
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I remember the first time my son slept in his own room, I barely slept that night because I was so hyper-alert. I think every new parent goes through that! :-) But if it's going on for this long you might want to talk to your doctor or a family therapist to get some ideas to help you. Because an exhausted Mommy is not a happy Mommy.
True story: when my dd was starting to sleep for longer periods at night, I would purposely not check on her before eating my breakfast. My reasoning being, if something terrible had happened, I'd be better off starting my tragedy with a meal.
This new mom needs to get control of her thoughts, I did but it took a LOT of work. You can control your thoughts though, find when you are spiraling into the bad thoughts and use a phrase or something to stop them (when my dd was very small, I'd use things like "she's BF with a fan and a paci, such a small percentage chance, not worth worrying about" or "worrying won't change anything that will or won't happen") Good luck mama.
I was that way, too, checking on my son non-stop through the night. I've had OCD tendencies with other aspects of my life, and motherhood is no different. Finally, a friend bought me an AngelCare monitor. I know a lot of people knock them, but for me, it's been the best thing I've ever gotten. Yes, I get false alarms, but I'm still much happier and can rest easier. I still use it at 10 months. I was planning on giving it up at 6 months, but then a family in my church lost their 8 month old to SIDS, and so I decided for my own peace of mind I was using it until a year. And honestly, I may keep using it as an alarm for when/if he learns to climb out of his crib!
I used to do that too, which is actually how we ended up co sleeping with my son (he's five, I still check on him at night, also, woke up lots before having child to check things at night) so I totally understand! We co-slept with my son because I almost never slept! LMAO! When I did feel I might nod off, I'd put him in his bassinet (crib as he got over two months) and lay at the edge of the bed and watch him sleep. Worked for us!
I would also suggest getting an AngelCare Monitor, which sounds an alarm if it determines baby has stopped breathing. Then you will have peace of mind and be able to sleep yourself. If you are still up checking after a couple weeks with that, seek help. I can honestly say I MAY be the only mother who did NOT wake up in the middle of the night just to check my baby. I never "just watched her sleep just in case"... I have always been a chill person and go with the flow and just didnt give into the negative thoughts...