Another mom is talking about how Facebook has removed her breastfeeding photos, calling them "obscene" and "sexually explicit." Mom Emma Kwasnica of Vancouver says the photos were of her nursing her daughters. I believe breastfeeding should be seen as a child eating and a beautiful thing, but not everyone feels that way, leading them to click that little "Report This Photo" button on the image, essentially calling the Facebook cops and whining how the photo scarred their eyes and they will never be able to look at breasts in the same way again.
Or whatever.
Women who post breastfeeding pics that get taken down by Facebook should actually direct their anger to their friends. Because if the profile is private and the settings are so only friends can see photos, it's one of their own that reported the photo. We need to remember that it's not always strangers that are uncomfortable with us breastfeeding -- it could be the people closest to us.
The thing about breastfeeding though is that it isn't a showy act. I believe that. That's how any mom who breastfeeds feels. But the way you feel about your breasts when you are breastfeeding is very different than when you are 22 and single without kids. Something changes. Pulling down your top to feed your baby is no big deal. But to some, just the pulling down the top part is too much. There will always be some people who are never going to like the sight of it. And that's got to be okay. There are things I don't like the sight of that are "normal" and "natural." Like spiders. They freak me out. So I choose to avoid them as much as possible. I don't visit them at the zoo and I ignore them if they are hanging out in the corner of my bathroom.
Which is what our "friends" should do on Facebook. Ignore. Don't look. It's a fact of life and we need to get on with it.
Months ago I was alerted by Facebook that they removed a photo of mine for the same reason mom Kwasnica got. I have no idea what photo it was (there are far too many), and while I do have photos of myself breastfeeding, I don't know for sure if it was one of those. But I also don't have any sexual photos of myself on there either. Who reported me? Was it my elementary school friend that I reconnected with? My old high school boyfriend? That former co-worker? One of my close friends? I have no clue, but my photos are on lockdown so it had to be someone I knew and clearly didn't like what I was doing on my own Facebook page.
I really wish that person would have just defriended me. If one of my photos offended them that much, then why be friends with me? Or they could have just blocked me from their feed and never visited my page again. Don't like the sight of a breastfeeding mom -- don't look! We don't want you looking! The same goes for people who get annoyed with what their friends say or do on any social media site. Don't like it? Delete friend. It's that simple. But instead, some go the passive aggressive route, choosing to tattle to Big Brother instead of confronting the person themselves. I guess it's kind of like getting your husband to kill (or humanely remove) the spider you are afraid of. Spider probably thinks, Really, lady? You send him to do your dirty work, you coward!?
Sure it's not cool that Facebook has this policy. But it's also unfortunate friends are reporting friends. Maybe these friends need to just ignore, look away, go troll another person's page who only posts images of kittens. And maybe I need to grow up and stop being afraid of spiders. I'll do that if friends stop reporting breastfeeding photos. I promise.
What do you think of women who post breastfeeding photos on Facebook? Have you posted any of yourself? Does anyone in your circle of friends disapprove of seeing you breastfeed?
Image via Christine Rogers/Flickr
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Comments (76)
I think it's RIDICULOUS to associate breastfeeding with a 'sexual or obscene' act. THAT'S repression for ya!
I'd be insulted if ANY of my friends would report me to FB due to my breastfeeding photos. I've posted photos on my personal blog of myself breastfeeding my toddler. I haven't on FB. Perhaps I SHOULD just to 'see' who'd be offended or report me. It's a sad and sickening idea that people are STILL this ignorant about the beauty and natural aspect of a mother giving sustenance to her child.
I think that any woman or mother that reports another mother's photo of herself breastfeeding her child, must be because it 'stings' them in some way. I truly do not understand this petty act.
Vanessa
www.mamascribble.com
I don't think they should be taken down, but I do think there are right and wrong ways to take a breastfeeding picture. Most that I have seen have been mostly baby but the ones that are mostly boob with baby just barely in the corner are slightly innappropriate. (I know a lot of breastfeeding moms will argue with me about how its just the baby eating, and I understand and think its a wonderful thing..but they should be done tastefully with the baby as the main focus of the picture). That being said, I don't think they should be reported, if a friend has a problem they should talk to their friend about how the picture wasn't tasteful or (Even better), they don't have to look at the image!
Breastfeeding is a natural, close moment between a mother and her child. When you post photos of your baby nursing on a social networking website, it ceases to be a natural, close moment between mother and child.
Not every person believes that "best is best." That is their right. When you inundate people with the same message so often, as this blogger does, people will become annoyed by it and reject the idea. I have a feeling that this is what happened on Facebook. Breastfeed your baby, but leave everybody else out of it.
Did you put something in your status? I would have.
Dear 'Friend' who flagged my bf pic and had it removed,.. I know it has to be one of you because my photos are set to 'private'. Please don't tag my pics. This is my fb page, not yours. If you don't like something on my page, just ignore it. If you can't ignore it, please just unfriend me. I'd rather that than your passive aggressive control freak behavior of having someone else's pic on someone else's page removed.
Love, Me
(ok, maybe that passive aggressive control freak part was a bit much but... you get my point)
I do agree, however, that breastfeeding should be natural, not showy. However, it's not my place to say what someone puts on their private page. I have a couple of nursing pics up but most people can't even tell I'm nursing in them...
I breastfeed, but choose to keep it private! I wouldnt feel comfortable breastfeeding with my dad in the same room, and he wouldnt feel comfortable seeing it. I wouldnt breastfeed in front of my husbands guy friends, or any of my non close friends. It is personal and should be kept that way, go ahead and slam me, but this is my opinion. I did take pictures of myself breastfeeding my daughter but I wouldnt even put those in my brag book to show family members, let alone on Facebook! They were taken for me, Personally and DH to remember...
This line of your article says it all: Don't like the sight of a breastfeeding mom -- don't look! We don't want you looking!
If you dont want ppl looking why the hell would you post it to Facebook!?!?!??!