New Mom Secret: I Have a Sitter for No Reason

on December 6, 2011 at 10:08 AM

It's hard being a new mom (or even an experienced mom to a new baby) and sometimes we do things we know we shouldn't, despite what all the experts say. But this is a safe place to share your secrets (PM me)—we'll never tell.

This Week's Secret:

My son is 2 months old now and I have decided not to go back to my full-time job. Still, I had hired a nanny for when I thought I was and I started using her and spending time on my own. It was so nice that now I don't want to get rid of her. We can afford to pay her and have me stay home, but is that awful? Do I seem too "Real Housewives" to bear? — Anonymous

What you decide to do with childcare is entirely your business and you shouldn't waste your time caring what anyone else thinks. If you need time alone and you trust this nanny, then take it and enjoy it. There is no "rule book" for moms.

Do you have any advice for this mom?

About the author Sasha Brown-Worsham

can't decide whether she is a mother, writer, or runner, but is usually all three at some point each day. She has written for dozens of print magazines, newspapers, and websites. She rarely ever writes on bathroom walls.

Filed Under: mom secrets

Comments (25)

douxmusique

on Dec 6, 2011 at 10:18 AM

No, do your thing mama. Just remember your baby needs you just like you need some me time. Don't let people get.down on you. What you do doesn't effect them or concern them in anyway.

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Facebook comment from Rachel Johnson

on Dec 6, 2011 at 10:25 AM

I disagree, but I'm one who thinks that if you have a child, YOU need to raise them, not some hired nanny. I think that it's great that she has someone to lean on, but the nanny should only be for special situations, such as date night, or girls night out. Not all day, everyday.

EquestrianMom

on Dec 6, 2011 at 10:30 AM

I thin your fine! I even used to hire a sitter (a family freind) to watch my son while I did housework! I was right there, and hardly left the room they were in, and I talked a lot with my sitter, we were freinds before long too. But just having someone else in the house to keep me company, and bounce the wee one while I folded laundry (WITH TWO! TWO WHOLE HANDS!) was an amazing break for me.

You do what you need to, your child needs you sane when you are with them :) Enjoy your adult time! You deserve it!

Facebook comment from Jessy Roos

on Dec 6, 2011 at 10:32 AM

I think this mama is doing a good thing making sure that she gets some time to recharge. I am a nanny who works for a family where mom only works one day a week and is on maternity leave right now and I can tell you two important things: 1. Mom AND Dad need time to themselves. Not only is it nice and often fun for them, but if they get a chance to recharge, they can give even more to their kids. 2. I am NOT raising their kids! Even though I am there 3 days a week, I can assure you that these parents love their little ones and work hard to bring them up well. I am there to support the parents and be a friend and caregiver when they need to work or take some time for themselves.
Good for this mama for taking some time to care for herself too. Not only is it important for her but her kids as well!

Stacey.

Just because you can afford it doesnt mean it's alright. Every now and then yes we all need alone time. But regularly? not so much. Most parents who work would love to have more time with their child. Yes, i know it is hard being a stay at home Mom, but its evern harder having to work all day and be on your Ps and Qs then coming home and being mommy all night.

jalaz77

on Dec 6, 2011 at 10:34 AM

I agree with Rachel to a certain degree. We have kids but we use daycare so we can work and pay off student loans. If a mom chooses to stay home they need a day off every week or two, appts, her time, whatever. Everyone needs break.

Ms.PuNkrOckStar

on Dec 6, 2011 at 10:53 AM

She has the money and as long as her priority is still your kid then dont worry. Just dont forget to have some "baby and I" time too!

Really232

on Dec 6, 2011 at 11:02 AM

I can understand a day or two off a MONTH! Any more then that I think it's sad... sorry, but it is. And being a stay at home mom is not that hard! Been there done that (3 kids mind you), and never had to take days off! Not one time! Oh and took care of a cancer stricken husband at the same time! It's the women that "need all this time" that give the rest of us a bad name! It's the women like this, that make the rest of the world call us lazy! Cause lets face facts, YOU ARE LAZY! Grow up and take care of your family!

GirlNamedBillie

on Dec 6, 2011 at 11:10 AM

If you have the money to do it I say go ahead! But don't let that woman raise your child. I'd love to be able to have time for myself and time with my husband, but I can't see staying home and having someone else take care of my child everyday. What's the point?

pezcharlotte

Really what it comes down to is does it work for her and her family. If it does than that is all that matters. And once again just because someone uses child care that does not mean they are not raising their children.