Wishing for a Baby Boy Is Silly

baby boy preferenceWhile North America as a whole does not have the horrifying female infanticide problems of other nations, there is the global epidemic of parents preferring boy children to the point of murdering baby girls. That extreme position is for another post, but a writer at Jezebel brought up an interesting (more Western) point about why people do have gender preferences.

Her thought was that perhaps we fear for our child out in the world. We want to position our child so they are received in the most advantageous way. In the current climate, this can often mean male, heterosexual, and let's face it -- Caucasian. While we can't do anything about the race, sexuality, or gender, people do still cross their fingers in hopes of getting what they want. 

Even though I believed I would be happy with a boy or a girl, I found that wasn't entirely true after my baby's sex was identified on the sono.     

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When I was pregnant with my first baby, for about two weeks, I believed I was having a boy. It was a guess on the part of the tech, but I was shocked when I was flooded with relief. Feelings I didn't even know existed came rushing in as I thought, "Whew, I won't be the only person responsible for raising this baby." Illogical and inaccurate, as I would soon discover after the child was actually in the world. But my first thought was that if I had a boy, my husband would have to be more involved than if I had a girl. After all, all those boy talks, and what with the throwing the softball around ... yeah, I was a person who did not have children yet.

So while I was walking around relieved that I wouldn't have to deal with a teenage girl, my second test happened and we found out, of course, that we were having a baby girl. It took me about a week to attach all these other unrealistic feelings to having a girl. I couldn't wait to have a little bestie, who looked just like me, and I could raise to be a strong, smart, independent lady.

The point being, we all have ideas about boys, girls, and how it will be to parent different genders. None of which come to fruition during the reality of raising actual children. I have a boy and a girl now, and not one of the stereotypes I thought would be true has turned out to be so. So these ideas of what we want are just that -- ideas. The real kids we have are what's important, and the gender doesn't matter one whit.

Did you want a boy or a girl? Why?


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