My children love, love LOVE their grandparents. They possibly love their grandparents more than I love my own parents or my husband loves his. They have none of the baggage or memories of slights that we have. They have only a positive and unblighted view and, to me, that's awesome. They have the kind of relationship with their grandparents that I had with mine and I encourage that.
But if I saw any evidence that there were things I didn't like about the way they were being treated, then my husband and I would have every right to limit visitation. In some states, apparently, that's not the case.
Grandparents are fighting to be allowed to visit grandchildren from whom they're cut off. And some are even winning, and those who aren't are driving their children into debt fighting them. It's reprehensible.
I am all for the importance of multi-generational exposure, and I love that my children love my father and stepmother as passionately as they do. But they don't trump me or my husband. If I saw evidence of the things I didn't like being passed to my children or I felt that my children were being treated in a way I wasn't comfortable with, I would be the one in charge, not them.
Some of the parents complain that they have to do visitation with family members they accuse of molesting them. Others are being forced into bad financial positions by grandparents who have more money and can force them into court. It's a bad situation.
For children, it's bad not to see grandparents, but we have to assume that their mom and dad know what's best for them. After all, they were raised by them. If a person thinks their parents aren't healthy for a child, then who are judges to say otherwise?
The situation is sad and tragic. Parents should want their children to know their own parents. But I assume that if they don't, they have good reason and that should be respected. Obviously some cases (like one in which the father chooses not to be involved with the child, but his mother still wants to know him) are different. But by and large, grandparents must adhere to the wishes of the parents.
Not all grandparents bake cookies and behave in a loving manner. They don't have "rights" to their grandkids. Only privileges. It's part of the deal. They don't have to put in the overtime or 1 a.m. hours, but they also don't get the same rights.
What is your kid's relationship with their parents like?