How to Hold Other People's Babies

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how to hold a new baby
Never Come Between a Mom and Her Baby
Before I had kids of my own, I never offered to hold a baby. They confused me. I didn't know if I should try to hold their head up or if it would cause them to be anal retentive if I imposed my will upon their tiny heads. (Yes, I realize that's not exactly the right part of the body. Sue me. I was childless and clueless.) After I had my own baby, and then another, I realized that holding a baby was all in the wrist. That, and that I could relax and give a snuggle or two without fear of damaging a child for life.

However, recent events have caused me to reconsider my cavalier attitude about holding other people's babies. Because you know, I still might be doing it wrong. And you probably are too.

Just as every mom is different, every new mom is not only different, they are much, much, much more neurotic about the baby rules. I get it. I used to cringe when people did not wash their hands before touching my precious first born. Of course, by the second baby, I was pawning him off on the local hobos if it meant I could drink my latte in peace. Which makes you forget that brand new moms are much pickier about the germs. You're probably making them sick to their stomachs every time you touch a tiny hand or nose. Just sayin'.

Also, how much is too much? I have one distinct memory of an overly-friendly near stranger who spent way too much time with my baby girl. I could actually mingle with a crowd as she cuddled up with my new little gal. Except I didn't because I was following her around the party spy-like, and never relaxed for fear that surely this woman was going to sell my beautiful baby on the black market. Again, with the new kid, I would have welcomed the break. Even if the hobos somehow came back and wanted to give him a cuddle.

So what I've concluded is this: Never hold a new mom's first baby. Never. You'll only make her nervous, nauseous, and not at all appreciative of your lesson in giving zerberts. Trust me, as I'm an expert at offending new moms.

Do you get nervous holding other people's babies?


baby development, baby health, childcare