Justin Bieber Baby Mama Drama Needs to End

justin bieber baby
Papa, Don't Preach
I know I'm not the first person to say they were going to have Justin Bieber's baby, and I'm guessing if continued bad taste in boy-men dictates such sentiments, I will not be the last. Unlike teens and tweens, however, I don't actually want to ever get close enough to the Biebs to share bodily fluids. Like, ever. But if this baby turns out to be Justin's, I'm totally taking baby Trystan away from his mom and dad.

You know, if no one else like Mama Bieber comes in and does it first.


Going to the press with photos of your baby and claims that you had a hook-up in the bathroom with an underage Bieber does not show the best judgment, Ms. Yeater. And while many, many 20-year-olds are stellar moms, you're not off to a great start. Let's say Justin is the baby's daddy (and you know they can tell that with DNA tests real quick, right?), you clearly knew this long before now, yet didn't attempt to resolve the situation. Instead, you sell photos to the tabloids and try to see how you can benefit. Not exactly the ideal way to get your baby's father into his life.

Now Bieber, you're not off the hook. Unless you totally are and these allegations turn out to be way false. While I am inclined to believe that there are crazy people all over the place who would love to sue you for paternity, I'm also wondering how a young, hormonal pop star manages to stay a virgin when young girls are throwing themselves at you all the time. It can happen, sure. But I don't know how. Either way, you're still a teenager and in no way ready to be a father. 'S'okay, I'll take that baby.

If this kid is going to get a fair shake in life, he needs to be out of the spotlight. If he turns out to be a baby Bieber, that is never going to happen. Alternately, if his mother turns out to be batsh*t crazy, that's not so great for the baby either. Come on you two wacky kids, hand over the baby. I promise I'll never a) have sex with a teenager in a bathroom, b) become a pop star, or c) sell my photos of my baby to Star magazine.

Do you think baby Trystan would be better off away from this mess?

Image via iloveJB123/Flickr

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