The Thing That Terrifies Me Most About Having a Kid

cute babyI like to think that since I found out I was pregnant, I've been pretty ... chill. What I mean by that is I haven't had any insane mood swings (although there was an incident last night where I may have overreacted about my husband finishing my non-dairy ice cream), and I haven't freaked out about, you know, being completely and totally responsible for another human being's entire life.

So, yeah, I've been chill. Well, mostly chill. Okay, fine, there is one thing I totally freak out about. Like, a lot.

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Child care! Sometimes the mere thought of it can send me into a shortened-breath, heart-pounding, blurry-eyed tizzy, 'cause, well, I don't want to be broke.

I live in New York City -- Brooklyn, to be exact -- and the cost of everything here is astronomical. And nannies and daycare are not, by any means, an exception. As someone who works -- and someone who will continue to work after having a kid -- I need one of these two services. And I don't know how I'm going to pay for it! Well, correction, I know how I'm going to pay for it, I just don't know what my family and I will have leftover afterward.

A few years ago, the kind of thing that would have made me green with envy was something like a great pair of boots, to-die-for hair, J.Lo's skin. Now? The thing that gives me a visceral reaction is when I hear that someone's mom or mother-in-law or aunt watches their kid -- for free. See, I don't have a mother, and even if she were still alive, I'm not so sure she would have made the trip from Jersey to Brooklyn every day to watch my little one. It seems like the folks who live close to a relative who's willing to watch their child all day when they go off to work are the luckiest people in the whole wide world!

I know, I know, we'll figure it out. We're pretty crafty, my husband and me. I'm sure we'll be able to find ways to make it work. And although things might be tight for a while, I'm sure it'll be one of the greatest times of our life. At least that's what I'm telling myself now.

What do/did you do about child care? Do you know of any affordable options? Help!


Image via John Tedesco/Flickr

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