Tragic Death of 4-Month-Old Doesn't Mean Daycare Is Bad for Babies

on October 21, 2011 at 4:52 PM

crib There's nothing quite as heartbreaking as the sudden, unexplained death of an infant. When I heard about the 4-month-old baby who was found dead this week after being put down for a nap at a daycare center in Levittown, Long Island, I literally felt physically ill. I can't even begin to wrap my head around the anguish those parents are experiencing.

But there's another reason why this death was tragic. Already the question is being raised: Is a 4-month-old baby too young to be in daycare in the first place?

Not only is this unfair to the parents of this baby and Karen Shriver, the owner of the daycare center (autopsy results aren't in yet, so we don't know why this baby died or if Shriver is at fault), it's unfair to the millions of parents who have no choice but to put their infants in daycare and the millions of loving professionals who care for those babies.

There are so many good and valid reasons why a parent would choose to put their baby in daycare (as opposed to hiring a nanny or babysitter). Expense is a huge factor, but there are others as well, such as wanting your baby to have the benefit of early socialization and feeling safer leaving your child at a licensed center (like this one), where there's the added assurance of knowing that state officials are regularly checking up on the facility.

To assume that this child, or any child, died because he was too young to be in daycare is ignorant. Sadly, plenty of stay-at-home moms find their babies unresponsive in the same horrible way Karen Shriver found this baby. When it comes to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, we have more questions than answers. That's why it's called Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and not something more specific.

Until the autopsy results are in, I just can't see any point to speculating about the cause of this tragedy. It's painful enough to think about.

Do you think it's unfair to say this baby's death had anything to do with daycare?

Image via angelcandy.baby/Flickr

About the author Jacqueline Burt

has written for numerous magazines, newspapers, and websites. She is easily bored and often tired, so she requires constant entertainment to keep her awake. Dance, Monkey! Dance!

Filed Under: sids, safety

Comments (64)

baby1love

on Oct 21, 2011 at 5:10 PM

I personally can't trust daycares (I have my reasons) and would never put my kids in one. I was luckily enough to stay home with them but like you stated even SAHM's could go through losing a baby through SIDS so no it's not fair to blame the daycare UNLESS it's deamed that SIDS wasn't the cause of the death if it wasn't SIDS that the baby died from then I would blame the daycare.

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mommix4

on Oct 21, 2011 at 5:14 PM

Isn't this like the 8th or so story this month with a title of something tragic happening to a child at daycare followed by defending the daycare? So how many more deaths or lost children will it take for there to be something wrong with a daycare?

sweetcherry_59

on Oct 21, 2011 at 5:22 PM

I was fortunate enough to stay home with my son for the first year. After that I had to return to work. I have my son in daycare and I love it. While this is a horrible thing this family has to go through, not all daycares are bad. I feel bad for the daycare because this baby could have easily died from sids but because he was under their care they will forever be blamed.

Bertha21

on Oct 21, 2011 at 5:23 PM

I don't think daycares are safe and I would never put my child in one. I wouldn't say that it had to do with the day care only if it were because of SIDS

MadameGarlic

on Oct 21, 2011 at 6:41 PM

Many women have no choice but to do so. I was a Legal Aid lawyer and heard their heartwrenching stories. Unless you know the circumstances of someone's decision you really don't have enough knowledge to judge. I don't mean you ladies above. Mostly I am thinking of the jerky boy politicians ou there....

RhondaVeggie

on Oct 21, 2011 at 6:42 PM

To say that people have no choice but to put babies in daycare is just ignorant. Of course there's a choice! If people can't afford to raise kids then they don't have to have them. If women would rather have a career than stay home and raise kids then there are plenty of options for preventing pregnancy.

on Oct 21, 2011 at 6:45 PM

Do you know any poor people, my friend? It's not as easy as deciding not to have children. Birth control fails, men leave, women lose their jobs... It really is complicated.

Bridgitt

on Oct 21, 2011 at 6:49 PM

RhondaVeggie - what a bitchy thing to say. I can afford my kids, and will even be able to send them to private school. My choice to work, to help afford those things, does not make me a bad parent. You have no right to say I should have prevented pregnancy- my children were planned, are loved, and have wonderful parents, even though they - gasp - have to go to daycare half to 3/4 of a the day, part of the week (my son goes 2 days a week, and my daughter goes 5 days a week). I rarely comment and never care about the drama people try creating on here, but your comment was the nastiness one I've ever read. How do you sleep at night with all that judgment welling up inside you?

eberkshire

on Oct 21, 2011 at 7:12 PM

Wow Rhonda how incredibly judgmental of you. While we are not well enough off for me to stay home with my LO (even though I would love too) she is fed clothed and loved. She goes to a great licensed daycare and I am lucky enough to only be a few miles down the road so I get to stop in and eat lunch with her every day too. I would never trade her for anything in this world and feel like I am a good parent, someday if our finacial situation changes I would love to stay home with her but right now that is not an option. To say that only people who can afford to stay home with their children should have them or imply that women who are not SAHM are bad parents makes you the ignorant one. And as for the article tragedys like this can happen to children at home w/ parents, babysitters, nannies or at daycare. Personally I trust the daycare I take my daughter completely they are a great place and I don't regret her going there at all.