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Mom Grieves Baby's Loss By Filling Breast Milk Bank in His Honor

by Jeanne Sager on October 7, 2011 at 2:00 PM

donated breast milkThere's no perfect prescription for dealing with the loss of a child. Every parent will grieve differently. But Jennifer Coias has found a way to cope with saying goodbye to son Jude that's particularly beautiful. She's helping other moms sustain their babies with donations of her breast milk.

Coias, an American mom living in Brazil, is known by many parents on the Internet for her natural parenting articles: from her passion about ending circumcision to co-sleeping advocacy. But last month word began to spread about her for another reason. On September 15, she delivered her son, Jude Mateo, via an HVBAC (home vaginal birth after C-section). Jude was stillborn, something the Coias family knew two weeks prior to his arrival. But like the bodies of so many moms who lose a child early on, Jennifer's has continued to produce breast milk.

And Jennifer decided she could use that milk to help other babies: babies whose moms can't produce enough or are unable to breastfeed for some reason, babies who don't have their biological mom and her milk available, any baby really who's working with a human milk bank at a Brazilian hospital. The kids are getting the results of the seven to eight pumpings that Coias is doing daily. Her donations compose HALF of all the hospital's bank gets, and hers is the highest in calories and fat (that's the good stuff for babies). According to her reports on Facebook, before she started donating, the hospital had to ration out the milk for only the "sickest and smallest of the NICU babies." Now they have enough to feed every NICU baby with human milk.

With son Noah at home and son Jude to grieve for, Jennifer's strength is astounding. She could have given up on this a long time ago, but nearly a month in, she's increasing her milk supply and sending out bag after bag of milk. The Coias family has put together an incredible tribute for their son.

Want to help her keep going? She needs milk bag donations, which can be sent to Jennifer Coias, Unit 7500, Box 1381, DPO, AA 34030-1381. A PayPal account has also been set up to cover the costs of services for Jude and her birth bill.

Have you ever donated breast milk?

Image via Daquella manera/Flickr

Filed Under: breastfeeding


  • Beths...


    October 7, 2011 at 2:12 PM

    I think that is wonderful what she is doing!!! I'm sure it must be very comforting to her to know that she is saving the lives of other babies.

    I never donated my milk; I didn't know up until a couple of years ago about milk banks. When I was nursing my youngest son, I pumped so much milk, it was falling out of the freezer. I had enough milk for triplets. I wish I had known about milk banks then.

  • Bridgitt


    October 7, 2011 at 2:20 PM
    I've never donated milk but if I have enough left in the freezer when my son weans, if he doesn't want it, I'll donate it. In the meantime, I'm sending my leftover bags to the above address since everything I'm currently pumping goes to daycare for the days we're not currently together.
  • lehof...


    October 7, 2011 at 2:40 PM

    This article gave me goosebumps. What an amazing, selfless woman.

  • bills...


    October 7, 2011 at 2:41 PM
    I am glad that she is able to this. Its sad, but through her grief she is doing something great. thank you for sharing this wonderful article.
  • Lynette


    October 7, 2011 at 2:52 PM

    I donated to a friend who is a working mom.  She was pumping but was coming up short so I donated some milk to her

  • hutch...


    October 7, 2011 at 3:18 PM

    What a great legacy to leave of her son :)

    What an amazing woman, its hard enough to pump when you know its going straigt to your little baby, I cannot imagine the strength it takes to pump while grieving to donate the milk, but what a wonderful use!

  • jagam...


    October 7, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    Wow, what a beautiful incredible story. That woman is amazing. This brought tears to my eyes.

    I've never donated but I hope with my next baby, I'll have enough leftover to donate. I would love to.

  • attac...


    October 7, 2011 at 3:57 PM

    I've used pumped milk before, when DS was less than a week old and I had to be re-hospitalized for heart problems.

  • Eats...
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Eats On Feets

    October 7, 2011 at 6:16 PM
    Such a wonderful thing that Jennifer is doing. Our hearts go out to her and her family, yet also rejoice at the babies receiving this precious milk.
  • Saman...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Samantha Putnam

    October 7, 2011 at 6:40 PM

    I've donated over 11,000oz. of milk since my son was born in November 2010. But my gift pales in comparison to that of Jen's ♥ 

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